Derek froze, full of regret and self-loathing.He ground his teeth and deliberately tucked his hands into his jeans pockets, doing his best to look unthreatening.He knew how it must look: a man like him, someone who looked like a cartoon henchman on his best day, bringing a small, openly gay man to an isolated cabin and then assaulting him.
“Don't be scared,” he said stiffly.
“I'm not,” Briar lied.
“I won't hurt you.”
Briar frowned, looking insulted now.“I know.”
“I haven’t…” Derek trailed off, searching for words that didn’t make him sound like an awkward teenager.“I’ve never kissed a man.”
Briar blinked in surprise. He cocked his head and examined Derek, seeming to take stock of his size and age.Derek didn't want to guess how flustered and defensive he looked right now.He'd never lost control like this before.
“Okay,” Briar said hesitantly.“So, this was…what? A momentary lapse of judgment?”
A muscle in Derek’s jaw began to twitch.“Yeah,” he said, voice brittle, “something like that.”
Briar’s face twisted, but he must have forgotten about his injury because he immediately cupped his cheek like it hurt.“So...what? Your dick got confused by a tight pair of jeans, and now you've got a case of het regret?"
Derek twitched, anxious to move his body but hyper-aware of how carefully Briar was watching his every move.It left him with no outlet, and his frustration boiled over.
“Maybe. You look enough like a girl,” Derek sneered, cramming every drop of disdain he felt into his tone.
Briar’s mouth dropped open. He stared wordlessly, lips moving like he was testing and discarding a dozen responses all at once.A berry-colored flush had begun to creep up his throat, contrasting prettily with his pale skin.He was glaring, but it only made Derek want to grab him and kiss him again.
“It was just a kiss,” he insisted desperately.
“Just a kiss?” Briar’s voice had begun to shake, but Derek couldn’t begin to guess the emotion.“What planet do you live on? That wasn't just a kiss, Derek.You know it.”
“You're overreacting.”
“And you're an asshole!”
At least he wasn't afraid of him anymore.
Derek shook his head. “Look,” he said gruffly, “this isn't the time.You’re hurt. We need to deal with that first.”
Briar’s expression contorted with frustration.He glared for a long minute, but Derek just folded his arms across his chest and waited impassively.He'd raised four stubborn siblings; he could wait out anyone.
“Fine,” Briar bit out, touching his swollen cheek with a grimace.“But this conversation isn’t over.”
Derek let him have the last word.There was no harm in it. No matter what Briar thought, they would never finish this conversation.
He pretended not to notice the way Briar sought out his eyes as he mechanically swabbed the laceration on his brow.Applying a butterfly stitch without encountering his warm, smooth skin took some finesse, but he managed.
Briar looked down, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt while Derek closed the kit, washed his hands, and then retrieved a stack of freshly laundered linens from a cupboard.He began to make up the couch for him, saying brusquely, “Bathroom’s down the hall, second door on your left.I’ll be waking you up every two hours for a check.Holler if you need something.”
Briar swallowed so hard that Derek could hear it from across the room.
“Thanks,” Briar muttered grudgingly.
Derek didn't bother responding.He retreated wordlessly into his bedroom, but even with the thick door separating them, he swore he could hear the gentle rustle of Briar sliding between the blankets.
He didn't bother turning on the lights.He stood with his back against the door for what felt like an eternity, staring at the familiar shadows of his dark bedroom.The worn-out rugs on the wooden floor, the massive four-post bed, the cozy bedroom fireplace that always lay dormant—all of it mocked him.He’d built this home for two people, but that wasn't ever going to happen now.Keeping his family alive had burned up all the best parts of him.He’d had nothing left to give long before Briar showed up in town.
It wasn't Briar's fault. He'd made the mistake of being too sweet, too appealing, too untouched by small-town bitterness.
And Derek was going to make him pay dearly for it.