Page 66 of Throw Down

“Yeah.” Briar laughed helplessly.“I was just trying to get a rise out of you.I knew you wouldn’t do it.”

“I will now.” Derek’s lips brushed against the shell of his ear, his temple, the rise of his cheekbone.“Dance with me here. Just us.”

Briar’s breath hitched. He leaned back in Derek’s arms and scanned their surroundings.It was dark enough that the risk of anyone seeing them was slim.Even if a curious onlooker spotted them, they'd only be a couple vague silhouettes in the gloom.But he would never forgive himself if Derek was forced out of the closet before he was ready.

“People might see us,” he warned.

“It’s a risk I’ll take.” Derek’s voice was husky as he pulled Briar into a gentle sway.

They stood at the edge of the water, and the waves lapped over the edges of Derek’s boots, soaking hisjeans.He didn’t seem to care. He cradled Briar in his arms and pulled him into the rhythm of the music, gazing intently down at him like he was the only thing thatmattered.

Briar couldn’t relax. “What if your family comes looking for you?” heasked.

Derek gave it a moment’s introspection, then hesighed.“They already know. Susan never would’ve invited you over to sit with us if theydidn’t.She was hoping to ease my folks intoit.”

“Your dad didn’t seem to mind,” Briar venturedhesitantly.

Derek shrugged. “Dad knows I took his place as head of the family a long timeago.He hasn’t ventured an opinion on me since I wasthirteen.But Mom doesn’t handle stresswell.It’ll take time for her to acceptit.”

“Maybe you’re underestimatingher.”

“Maybe,” Derek acknowledgeddoubtfully.“I’ve just spent a lifetime doing everything I can to make life easier forher.I can’t turn it offovernight.”

Briar wrapped his arms around Derek’s waist and squeezed, saying thickly, “You’re the best man Iknow.”

“I’ll figure this out,” Derekwhispered.“For you, I’d doanything.”

Then he clasped Briar’s hand and spun him out in a surprisingly gracefulloop.He was so much taller that Briar didn’t even have to duck under hisarm.He laughed, delighted, as the stars spun. Derek reeled him back in, kissing him deeply, and the world just kept onspinning.

Maybe it wasn’t perfect, not yet, but Briar thought it was the closest he’d ever get this side ofheaven.

Chapter Twenty-Six

BRIAR

In a perfect world, Briar would have spent the weekend curled up in bed, letting Derek feed and pamper him.But the patients down at the clinic still needed care, and Derek ended up driving all the way to Boise to pick up a set of rare fourteen-inch wire wheels for a custom Mustang restoration.Briar didn’t understand the rush.At least, not until Derek had explained it in terms of fashion.Briar would drive a lot further than Idaho for a chance to nab a discounted Brioni jacket.

Derek wouldn’t be back until dark, so there was no reason to wait for him.He brought Sabbath everywhere with him these days, so Briar didn't need to stop by the cabin to care for her in his absence.But there was something comforting about surrounding himself with the detritus of Derek's life.The cabin felt so much homier than Briar's own apartment, which he only used as a closet these days, and he was surprised by how much he enjoyed the mountain ambience.Sure, cell phone reception was spotty this far out of town, but the fresh air was better than a shot of B12.He’d even started teaching himself bird calls, even if he could only recognize the distinctive warble of a redwing blackbird.

Briar loafed around the cabin, fantasizing about the day when they woke up together as old men.Derek would fish and tinker in the garage, and he would still pick Briar wildflowers every week.Briar would be a flamboyant old queen, gossiping over coffee down at The Hungry Pig.They’d be a real-world Odd Couple.It could work. It felt real, like he’d just gotten a quick glimpse into their future.

If he was in it for the long haul, Briar figured it was time to leave his mark on their space.The first thing he did was unload a box of garden gnomes he’d purchased from the tack and feed shop.The whimsical window display had always caught his eye, but he'd never had anywhere to put them.Now, he planted gnomes all over Derek's yard. A rainbow of colorful hats in naughty positions poked out of the shrubbery.One particularly fat gnome lurked on a beam above the carport, ready to scare the crap out of Derek when he glanced up.The last gnome sat beside the door with a welcome sign, and Briar smiled every time he looked at it.

He was more hesitant to touch the inside of the cabin.It was Derek’s sacred space, the one place he was safe from the expectations of others, and Briar didn’t want to mess with it.He settled for a vase of wildflowers on the table and a decorative chalk message board by the door.Derek always left for work at the crack of dawn.Briar loved the idea of waking up to see him off, but not even the power of love could force his eyes open that early.So instead, he doodled a picture of a happy Sabbath with a wagging tail.He added a barking speech bubble and scrawled a message inside it: love you.

The tiny touches weren’t much, but they felt like the first important step in the journey that made Derek’s cabin into a home for both of them.

Late afternoon found him sitting on the freshly swept floor, sifting through a box of family photographs he’d discovered in the back of a linen closet.Derek only had one photo of his siblings in his bedroom, a daily reminder of his responsibilities.But Briar had noticed something very important at the picnic.It was about time someone pointed out that Derek wasn’t just the provider for his family—he was its heartbeat.

He picked up a photo of a messy backyard barbeque.A dilapidated farmhouse sat in the distance.The focus was slightly blurry, unable to capture the motion as Derek dropped a water balloon over his youngest sister’s head.They were both caught mid-laugh, eyes crinkled and carefree.He looked so young. Briar carefully clipped it with a piece of twine to the message board beside the door.Then he selected a shot of Derek with his arm slung over West’s shoulders.They both wore the exact same irritable expressions, as if they were being forced to pose by someone behind the camera.Derek’s head was bent toward his younger brother, his intense eyes practically leaping off the glossy photo paper.Briar lost himself for a long time, just staring at it, then he added the picture to the board.

Each photo was a testament to Derek’s presence in their lives, but it was also a reminder of how much they all truly loved each other.The Owens family’s biggest problem wasn’t how much they’d suffered in the past; it was forgetting why they’d suffered—for each other.Their love and dedication to each other was a tangible, invisible field surrounding them.Briar could never be a part of it, but if he could remind Derek how lucky he was, he’d be content.

As he reached for another picture, his phone vibrated across the hardwood table, startling him.Nate’s ID popped up on the screen.

“’Lo?” he answered, balancing the phone between his shoulder and ear as he clipped another photo to the board.

“Hey, you free?” Nate’s voice was calm, but it held an urgency that made Briar's ears twitch.

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