Page 64 of Throw Down

“Mind your own business, Derek.” Ian had finally gathered enough steam to propel himself out of his chair.He was a few inches shorter and a few pounds heavier than Derek, but he didn’t appear intimidated.He cracked his neck and thrust out his chin aggressively, saying, “Why don’t you spend a little more time worrying about your own…projects.”

The look he shot Briar wasn’t mean-spirited, exactly, but it felt like he'd been marked for death.Susan gasped and gave her husband a sharp jab in the ribs.

“Hush!” Derek’s mother had been relaxing at the picnic table beside West.She’d barely left her youngest son’s side all afternoon, devoting all her time and attention to doting on him, but now she sat up straight.Her face was pinched and distressed.“That’s enough, Ian. Derek, stop provoking him.We don’t air our dirty laundry in public, especially not in front of strangers.”

She didn’t look at Briar—no one did.They didn’t single him out in any way.Derek’s jaw clenched visibly.It seemed to be taking all his strength to not even glance in Briar's direction.

It reminded Briar of the nightmares he used to have when he was a kid.He’d wake up alone in a new foster home, in a bed that didn’t smell like his, and he’d studiously avoid looking at all the lumpy shadows that might be hiding monsters around the room.

Because looking made it real, and Derek didn’t want him to be real.Not really. He wanted to keep Briar a private fantasy that bumped up against his real life but never intruded.

Briar exhaled slowly. He set his plate down and stood, carefully brushing imaginary crumbs from his shorts to keep his hands busy.Then he squared his shoulders and plastered on his most dazzling grin.

“That’s okay, Mrs. Owens,” he said brightly.“I didn’t mean to intrude on a private conversation.I’m going to go explore before it gets dark.”

Derek’s mother wasn’t unkind.She had the grace to look regretful, but she didn’t apologize or offer for him to stay.“That’s for the best, dear. You wouldn’t want to get mixed up with us.It’s never anything but drama around here.”

“Don’t let us scare you off,” West protested.“We’re always like this.”

West shot his brother an intense look, but Derek only shoved his hands in his pockets and looked away.Briar had never seen him so reluctant to step in before.He understood—he did—but it still hurt.

“It’s fine, really,” Briar insisted, though his face felt like it might crack with his pasted-on smile.“I appreciate you inviting me over, but I needed to find someone to give me a lift back to town, anyway.I can't impose on Derek's hospitality anymore.”

Derek met his eyes. A muscle flexed in his jaw, like he was chewing on something he wanted to say but couldn’t.No words came out, and the silence grew more awkward.

Sabbath tried to follow him when he left.Briar shooed her away, but she ignored him, frolicking at his heels without a care in the world.Derek called her back with an angry-sounding command.The puppy slunk over to her true master, tail drooping, bewildered at what she had done wrong.

Briar understood how she felt.Derek had never lied to him. He’d never pretended he had any intention of coming out.He’d even done his best to include Briar within the boundaries he’d set.Briar was used to being an outsider; he just hadn’t expected it to sting so badly this time.

As he wandered toward the lake, a band started up on the stage down by the waterfront.Briar had expected covers of the country songs he heard blaring from every open car window around town, but to his surprise,the cooling breeze carried the bluesy strains of a bass guitar across the water.

The sun was low and heavy, flushing the rippling waves with a sparkling, rose-gold hue.Briar paused at the water’s edge to appreciate the view.A few hardcore old men still fished from the docks, but the contests had closed a long time ago.Far on the other bank, families still played in the shallows. Children shrieked and splashed with delight.Lucky kids. A heavy lump lodged in his throat as he basked in their carefree joy.He didn’t think he’d ever felt joy like that, but he’d gotten awfully good at faking it.

Decisively, he stripped off his shirt and waded into the water.It was colder than he’d expected, stinging his thighs and lifting goosebumps all over his body.He ignored the discomfort, taking a deep breath and plunging beneath the surface.The chill washed over him, sharp enough to blank out the hot static in his head.

He swam out far enough that the laughter and noise of the crowds faded to nothing but a distant murmur, and then he just…drifted.All on his own, perfectly himself, even if no one was around to appreciate it.

It was almost dark when he slowly made his way back to shore, feeling weary rather than refreshed. The sky was such a bright, blazing red that the forest surrounding the reservoir looked black bycomparison.The fading coals of barbeque pits dotted the knoll, sending up wisps of fragrantsmoke.But Briar barely noticed any ofthat.

He only had eyes for the dark figure of a man waiting for him onshore.

Chapter Twenty-Five

BRIAR

Derek stood alone at the edge of the water, a stark silhouette against the fiery backdrop of the sunset.Sabbath rested at his feet, tongue lolling, the picture of canine loyalty.Briar could barely see his face, but his posture seemed to relax when Briar slogged out of the shallows.

“I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come in,” Derek said.His voice was low and rough, carrying a hint of something Briar couldn’t identify.Not anger; not worry. It was wearier than that.Maybe regret.

Briar’s heart twisted with a cocktail of complex emotions.He stopped a few feet away with the waves still lapping at his feet.The cool breeze plucked up a crust of ice on his wet body. More than anything, he longed to walk right into Derek’s arms and bask in his warmth...but he couldn’t.

“You should go back to your family,” he said, projecting a firmness he didn’t feel.“I’m okay. Really.”

“You don’t have a ride back into town.” Derek’s eyes didn’t leave his face.He seemed to be searching for something—maybe the truth.Good luck to him; Briar wasn’t even sure what the truth was himself.

“I saw Miranda over at her food truck,” Briar said casually.“She’ll give me a lift.”

“Briar,” Derek said impatiently, “come home with me.”

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