Page 60 of Forfeits

Aiden toed off his boots, and I put the coffee tray and bag of goodies on the coffee table.

“Fuck, Fletcher. What the hell? They can’t take Lucy away from you.”

“My name’s on her birth certificate. She’s my daughter.”

“Do they have any parental rights because of being…blood related to Lucy?”

“I looked up the rules in Ontario, and as long as I’m her legal parent by birth, which is evidenced by the birth certificate, I don’t think they can overrule my rights as a parent.”

“Good!”

“Unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Unless they can prove I’m unfit.”

“But you’re not! You’re a wonderful father to Lucy!”

I reached for Aiden’s hand. “Thank you. I mean, I try.”

I looked around at the house. Even with some of the clutter put away it was far from ideal. “The place could be a little cleaner and tidier.”

“Fletcher.”

“It’s hard to keep up, you know? With the dogs and the two of us…”

Aiden took my face between his hands. “Fletcher, look at me. This house is fine. There aren’t vermin and feces everywhere, I take it? I don’t see any.”

“No. But…”

“But what?”

“Is this really the best place…for Lucy?” I asked. It was the thing that scared me deep down, the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Annie and Brian were right.

Aiden kissed me, then gave me a little shake of the shoulders. He gazed into my eyes like he did in the Bordello when he was getting me to focus.

“The best place for Lucy is with the only dad she has left. The best place for Lucy is with you.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He shrugged. “I’m only telling you what you already know.”

I rubbed my face. “Goddamn it. I was starting to feel better. It’s been rough since Daniel died. I miss him so much, Aiden.”

He squeezed my hand. “I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been, how hard it still is to parent Lucy on your own. But as far as I can see, you’re doing a bang-up job. And I’m furious at them for making you doubt that.”

We sat in silence for a little bit. Aiden passed me a coffee and put the donuts on plates, passing one to me.

“She’s going to their place for the weekend,” I said, after I’d had a sip of coffee and a bite of donut. At least the urge to be sick had left me. “I kind of wish she wasn’t, except I was honestly looking forward to a bit of a break. Now I feel guilty about that.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t want to be her parent. In what universe would it mean that?”

“It makes me nervous to have her stay with them now. I feel like they might put things into her head, you know? To convince her that she’s better off with them.”

“Can you cancel?”

I shook my head. “Lucy would be devastated. She loves spending time with them, which is fantastic. I don’t think she wants to live there, though.” I lifted my hands as if I had no idea about anything anymore. “But who knows?”

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