Page 107 of Forfeits

“Is she… Did she…?”

“We used a donated egg and Daniel’s sperm.”

“That’s really incredible.”

“It really is.”

“Why…why Daniel’s?”

I smiled, remembering the conversations we’d had.

“We almost flipped a coin, but that didn’t feel right. So we looked at family histories. Daniel doesn’t have any relatives with cancer. I have two in my lineage. That was basically the reason.” I realized I’d used the present tense. “It’s hard to remember to use the past tense.”

“It must be.”

“Tamara has three kids of her own, and it was something she wanted to do for us.” I sighed. “She saw the obituary. I wasn’t in any state to inform her of Daniel’s passing and nobody else thought to. She wrote me this letter.”

I watched as Aiden started to read.

I had memorized it, because I’d looked at it so often in the months after Daniel’s passing.

Dear Fletcher,

I’m so sorry about Daniel. I can’t possibly imagine what you’re going through right now, but I wanted to tell you that Lucy is very lucky to have you to look after her in this trying time. It must be very hard for you both, but you have each other to lean on.

I know that none of us expected this to happen and didn’t even think of the possibility when we were expecting Lucy. It was a beautiful, wonderful time, only to be topped by the day of Lucy’s birth. When the doctor took her and put her into your arms, and Daniel looked over your shoulder, it was such an important moment in my life.

You might not have realized how much I felt honored to be chosen and trusted with such a precious cargo. Thank you for letting me carry your daughter inside my body, and nurture her, and grow her, so that you and Daniel could experience fatherhood.

Lucy is so special, and so are you. And so was Daniel.

Please remember that he is still a part of this universe, watches the two of you and cares for the two of you. I am completely certain of that.

Take good care, and don’t be a stranger.

Love Tamara.

P.S. I’ve enclosed a note for Lucy as well, basically saying the same things. I will leave it up to you if you want to give it to her now or wait for a later time.

“Fletcher, this is so lovely,” Aiden murmured.

“It helped a lot. I gave Lucy hers. We talked a lot about Tamara and the process we went through to make Lucy happen, and I think that helped her grieve her father. Finding a surrogate, having a successful pregnancy, the waiting and hoping and planning… It was a crazy, wonderful, terrifying time, which I imagine it is for any couple. It just so happened there were three people involved.”

Aiden blinked rapidly and nodded.

I sighed. “There are no guarantees in life. I know that. There were some scary moments during the pregnancy. And we had no idea if the baby would be healthy or not. But we decided we were in it, no matter what,” I said. “And we still are. I mean…I am.”

“And Lucy is amazing.”

“If I didn’t have her, I probably wouldn’t be standing here right now.”

“Are you talking about…?”

“Yes.”

“I’m so sorry, Fletcher. I have no idea what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. And I want you to know that with the help of a lot of therapy, and I guess, time, thought and realizing there is so much to enjoy in life, even now, I’m…I’m not anywhere near that place. But I was in it for a while. And it’s only because of Lucy that I’m here.” I took a deep breath and glanced in the direction of Lucy’s bedroom. I shrugged. “Maybe it was the same with her. We kept each other going—for Daniel, for each other. And we’re both really solid right now. But…if Annie goes ahead with this custody thing, I don’t know… I don’t know…”

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