Page 13 of His Love

“Let’s go, Emily,” Onyx ordered as he led her back down the stairs.

Once we were alone again, I turned my attention back to Paisley.“How are you feeling, baby?”

“Do you think Emily and I aren’t really friends?”

“No, baby. I don’t think that. Is that how you’re feeling?” I pulled her back from me and helped her sit on the carpet so I could look into her eyes.

“She thinks I’m fragile and needy. That’s bad, right? And she said ‘undone all my progress’ like I was a test subject or something. I thought she really liked me, but maybe I’m too much work for her?”

Sympathy ran through me as I processed the weight behind her words. She probably had no idea what a healthy friendship looked like due to her upbringing.

“Emily said those things because she loves you very much. Sometimes love makes you do things wrong,” I explained. “Emily was worried I’d hurt you. She knows how hard you’ve worked to find yourself after foster care and she was worried I had caused you to undo all your hard work. She used several poor choices in her words because of her worry today, but that doesn’t mean she thinks you’re fragile or needy.”

Twisting Fancy’s beak back and forth, she met my eyes. “I was silly for thinking I belonged.”

Rage filled me as I thought of the injustices she must have faced to bring her to this belief. Sorrow followed the rage. How bad does your past have to be to just want to “belong”?

Swallowing my emotions, I sat on the floor in front of her. “You do belong, baby. You’ve already brought so much sunshine into each of our lives. All friend groups have hiccups because they’re made of imperfect people.”

She nodded, but I could still see the fear in her eyes.

“You do belong, baby,” I repeated. “We would be so lost without you in our group. I know that’s a hard fact to accept right now, because of your ouchie heart, but I promise that after we talk to Emily this weekend, things will make much more sense and you’ll understand how important you are.”

***

Paisley

Axel placed his hand on my back as we walked out of the orthopedics office. Getting a cast had been scary. I didn’t know it would get warm as it set. The extra support did feel nice even if I hated the crutches.

“Doing okay, baby?”

I took a minute to think about my feelings. I was enjoying being with Axel, but my heart was heavy. Emily’s words had hurt me more than I expected. I understood what Axel explained about her saying those things because she loved me, but they werehard to process. I was already sensitive about my desire to belong to someone and it was embarrassing that other people were able to see that I still wanted a family. I must have looked so pathetic.

“I’m okay,” I answered instead.

His raised eyebrow let me know he didn’t believe me.

“Where do you feel like going for lunch? You were such a big, brave girl that Uncle Axel will let you pick,” he asked, thankfully dropping the matter.

“Anywhere?” I questioned, shoving my confusing feelings back down. I had the perfect idea.

“Anywhere,” he confirmed.

***

“Okay, this wasn’t what I had in mind.”

I giggled at Axel’s shocked expression. Moody’s Pizza, a hippie-themed, retro pizza parlor, was cheap, loud, and definitely messy, but it was my favorite place in the whole wild world. They had every type of pizza you could imagine, plus fuzzy walls, glow in the dark art, and a wall you could paint on.

“I love this place!” Despite my crutches, I danced from foot to foot as we waited in line. Pain made me stop. Ouchie.

“Well, I am glad I get to see you so excited then. I have never been here before.”

I giggled at the thought of his stormy disposition and frowny face sitting in one of the neon booths.

“What was that giggle for, Little one?”

I shook my head and covered my heating cheeks. I didn’t want to tell him.

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