Page 11 of His Love

“You’re out of line, Emily.” Axel’s voice was dry and emotionless.

I was amazed at how calmly he spoke. Emily was practically screaming at him, and her words and accusations were ugly. Holding my breath, I kept listening. I needed to understand where this was coming from.

“So what?” Emily spat, ignoring his reproof. “You are too. Dammit, I knew we should have just come and gotten her last night. Paisley is not just some plaything you can have fun with and dump to the side. She’s vulnerable and so desperate to belong, of course she let you sleep with her the first time you dropped a dimpled grin.”

Her words hurt. A physical pain tore through my chest. Was that really what she thought of me? Was it what she thought of Axel? Was she right? Was he just being nice, using me because I was injured and vulnerable? I knew Axel was a big grump, but I’d never thought he was cruel. Apparently I wasn’t a good judge of character, because I didn’t think Emily could be so mean and angry either. Tears pricked my eyes and I worked to blink them back as the argument continued.

“We didn’t sleep together,” Axel informed her. “And even if we had, that would be none of your business.”

“She’s my business. She’s my best friend. Who do you think is going to have to pick up the pieces of her self-esteem once you ruin it, huh? You are too mean to handle someone that fragile and emotionally needy.”

Mean? Her accusation to Axel confused me, but not as much as the things she said about me. Fragile? Emotionally needy?

I didn’t have time to spend too much time thinking about her words, though, because they kept going.

I sucked in a breath when Axel said, “You’re upset and not thinking clearly, so I’m going to let your unkind words to me go for right now, but I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking about Paisley. I think it would hurt her to know you have such a low opinion of her.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

My eyes grew wide to hear Emily speaking to Axel like that. The Emily I thought I knew would never, and Onyx would have her bottom on a platter if he heard her. Where was he? I waited to see how Axel would react.

His voice was hard and I could almost picture his jaw ticking with anger. Emily was out of line, no matter where her intentions were. Still, he somehow managed to remain calm. “Come in and have a seat. I’m done with this conversation, but I don't want you driving back home this angry. Does Onyx know you’re here?”

I scrambled up two steps, making sure I stayed out of their eyesight as she entered the house. She was doing as she was told, but whatever was going on in her head, she wasn’t ready to let it go.

“This isn’t over, Axel. I’m taking her with me. I should have never let her come here. She’s still looking for her place to belong and you’ve just fucked up all her progress.”

My progress? Seriously, what was her deal?

“I was serious when I said I was done with this conversation, Emily. I’m going to make sure all your shouting didn’t wake Paisley.”

The tears that had only pricked my eyes before, rolled freely down my cheeks. I buried my head in my hands, embarrassed and unable to move though I knew they were going to find me and realize I’d heard the whole thing.

The whole thing. And even more shocking than the way Emily was speaking to Axel was the way she seemed to feel about me. That was the most heartbreaking.

I really did think I’d found a friend group finally—a place to belong, and people who liked me for me. Singing at Dallas and Pike’s wedding had been life-changing. All of the Littles had welcomed me with open arms, but I’d grown closest to Emily. She seemed to enjoy hanging out with me. I hadn’t realized it was because I was a project to her—something she needed to fix and protect. Rejection and worthlessness filled my bones—feelings so familiar they were like long-lost companions. How silly it had been of me to think they were gone. I would never belong here. I would never belong anywhere.

I was in full meltdown mode, no longer even aware of Axel or Emily until warm hands rubbed my shoulders and Axel’s fresh scent surrounded me. “Look at me, baby.”

I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. There was no point in seeing the pity in his eyes.

“Thank God, come on, Paisley. We’ll get you packed up and you can come stay with me for a while.”

Emily’s voice broke through my meltdown, but I kept my head in my hands. How could she think I wanted to go with her? I sat for a minute, trying to collect my rapidly racing thoughts. Lifting my head, I met her eyes. “No, thank you.”

“Why are you crying, Paisley? What’s wrong?”

Resisting the urge to laugh at her question, I stood. “Would you please take me home?” I asked Axel.

Axel’s whole body seemed to sag with what seemed like relief. “If I take you home, I'm staying with you for a few days. I want you close to me. I need you close to me.”

“Don’t put that on her, you asshole. She doesn’t need to carry that weight.” Emily was still fighting. Whose battle, I wasn’t really sure. I just wanted her to shut up and go.

“Please just take me home,” I begged him. Brushing my tears away with my good hand, I wondered if you could die from heartbreak. It felt like it. It was my own fault. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I’d seen the small family dynamic they had set up and I so desperately wanted to be a part of it.

But It was stupid to think I could be. They were already a family, and there would never be room for me. I was twenty-five years old. It was time to give up on my build-a-family dream.

Axel nodded and stroked my face softly. “Let me pack a bag, baby.”

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