Page 91 of Only Ever You

“No one does. I haven’t told Pippa or my parents.”

I meet his hazel-eyed gaze—the one he shares with Pippa. “You kept this to yourself?”

“It was easier for people to be angry with me than admit I was groomed. And hell, by the time I saw it for what it was, it was humiliating. Pippa’s not the only one who needs therapy.”

Burying my face in my hands, I let out a sigh as he grips my shoulder.

“I won’t lie. You’ve got a long road ahead of you if you want to regain her trust.”

My head’s still spinning, but there’s only one thing I want out of this influx of information.

“What do I do, Lucas? She told me how much she hurt when I left town the first time—now I’ve done this, how can we ever get back to what we had?”

He tilts his head. “Patience and time. You know what Pippa’s like. She’s all heart. And right now, that heart is shattered. At least she’s talking to me this time.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

Huffing out a breath, he drops his gaze. “She didn’t speak to me for a year after you and your father left.”

Despite my agony, I bark out a laugh. “Really? I didn’t know that.”

“I always thought it was such a pain in the arse having a little sister, but I’d have done anything to hear her voice back then.” He nudges my knee with his. “I know she tried to reach you. Did you block her?”

I shake my head. “Thought about it. Couldn’t do it. She left me voicemails, but I was so angry that I didn’t listen to them.”

“Maybe start there. You need to understand the devastation you left in your wake before you can move forward.” He stands. “I’m flying back home again tonight, but I’ll leave you my number in case you want to call after you’ve listened.”

I nod.

“She loves you, Deacon. I wouldn’t be here if she didn’t. So, I need you to either man up and try and sort things out or just leave her alone. She doesn’t need the torment she’s going through now.”

In the quiet of my apartment, I stare at my phone screen. Lucas is right. I need to listen to her. It’s the least I deserve.

I dial into my voicemail and close my eyes.

I’m not even three messages in and I’m a mess. She’s distraught—I’ve never heard her so desperate.

And she’s blaming herself.

She didn’t even know why I’d left, and she blamed herself. I thought our time together had built her up—her confidence had grown so much. But in the act of leaving, I undid all the work she’d put into herself.

It’s so hard to hear, but I press on. The pain and desperation in her voice give way to her pleading with me to let her know I’m okay.

By the time I’m finished, I’m empty—my heart is aching and all I want is to hold her in my arms.

There’s a long road ahead of me if I beg her for forgiveness.

But Pippa’s worth every single bit of it.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Pippa

When I was younger, we spent our summers between home and our holiday house. I thought that the beach would have some magical healing properties—it always made me feel better as a child. But it’s been a month and that’s evidently not the case.

How do I move on?

I was going to marry the man of my dreams—the man I’d loved my whole life. And now? Now I don’t know how to keep going.

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