Page 86 of Only Ever You

I can’t wait to get home and sleep in my own bed.

There won’t be much of Pippa left at home. Even if she hasn’t cleared out her things, there wasn’t a lot to start with. She’d started the process of moving, but the majority of her things were yet to be shifted.

It’s a depressing thought.

I don’t stop when I walk in the door and lock it behind me. Leaving my bags in the living room, I head straight for my bed and collapse onto it.

After the past month, I could sleep for a week.

My gaze falls on the photo beside the bed.

Pippa in that red dress, her neck glittering with the ruby I bought her to match, my arms wrapped around her waist—the way it was nearly the whole night.

That’s the night I told her I loved her for the first time.

I turn my head rather than look at it. The pain grows again—every time I beat it down, it reappears.

I grab her pillow and pull it toward me, breathing in the scent of her.

What the fuck do I do now?

Chapter Thirty

Deacon

For the past four weeks, I’ve not spoken to anyone back home.

My phone is overflowing with missed calls and voicemails, but I’ve buried my head in the sand—always putting off dealing with this until I came back.

Maybe I’ll just buy a new phone.

I wait until the meeting’s started. When I arrived this morning, I kept my head down, not meeting anyone’s gaze.

I’ve got no one to blame but myself.

Inside I’m a mess, but that’s the last thing I want to show anyone.

So, I’ll hold my head up high and make out I’m proud of everything I’ve done—all the while, dying inside.

Back when my parents split, I saw a therapist for a while. She helped me with my anger over everything, and I thought I’d been able to move on. I haven’t.

It’s time to find a new therapist and get help. There’s no point going after Pippa—she’ll never forgive me for the way I’ve treated her. It’s better she move on and find someone who isn’t so messed up.

The thought of that rips me apart, but I can’t see how this ends any other way.

When I get to the boardroom, I pause before reaching for the door handle. Time to pull myself together and bullshit my way through this.

Every head turns when I push open the door, and I take a deep breath and smile.

“Morning everyone.”

I drop into a nearby chair, forcing my smile to continue as the other three look at me.

“Oh, by the way, Garrett. You’re welcome to have Pippa as your PA. Obviously she can’t work for me anymore.”

Mallory snorts, and I shift my gaze to her before Garrett speaks up.

“Pippa’s welcome to work with me any time. She’s probably the best PA the company’s ever seen.”