Page 83 of Only Ever You

“How are you doing?”

I shrug. “I know I can’t hide here forever, but I’m not ready to go anywhere.”

He nods. “It’s okay. You can stay here as long as you need to. I’ll keep coming to see you if that’s okay.”

“At least I know you don’t judge me.” I move back to the couch, and he follows, taking a seat beside me.

Reaching over, he lays his hand on mine. “Never. I love you, sis.”

“Love you too.”

“Deacon’s a dumbass.”

I shake my head. “I just wish I knew …”

He opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something before closing it again and smiling. “It’s his loss. I hope you know that.”

We’ve had this conversation a million times, but it never makes me feel any better. Maybe it is his loss, but he’s the one who threw me away. No matter how uplifting Lucas’s words are, I’m brought down to earth by that fact.

I shrug again and sigh. “I just need time to process that.”

He hesitates before leaning back. “You know he’s due to arrive home today.”

“Is he?” As if I don’t know. As if the dates of my honeymoon weren’t etched into my brain. Today was the day we were supposed to fly into the country. Will Deacon stick to that? Or will he continue partying his way through Europe?

Lucas arches an eyebrow. “Are you going to try and get in touch?”

Snorting again, I look away. “What’s the point? I tried to call him after he left, but he’s blocked me. You know, except for his Instagram account.”

When I glance at Lucas, his jaw is set. “You know that’s him trying to hurt you. I don’t know why you look.”

“Neither do I, but I can’t help it.” Tears prick my eyes. I’ve cried my heart out for this man, but there are always more tears.

“Pip, you’ve got to stop torturing yourself. He’s an arsehole, and he never deserved you.”

“I never did fit into his world.”

Swallowing hard, I meet Lucas’s eyes as confusion flashes across his features.

“What do you mean?”

I shift my gaze to the ceiling. “Deacon’s life was full of beautiful, tall, thin women. Did he use me, Lucas? Did he make me fall in love with him just to dump me like this? Is this some kind of payback.”

He grips my hand, and I fix my watery gaze on him.

“No way. He loved you. We all saw it. Hell, he even went through Christmas with me because he was crazy about you, and he hates me.”

“I just don’t know what else to think.” I clamp my lips together to stop myself from crying yet again.

“Well, I think being cooped up here for a month has given you nothing but time to dream up all these things.”

His eyes are so full of sympathy, and I can’t stand it. But he’s here because he loves me.

“So, you’re defending him now?” I’m being bullish, but I can’t help it. My heart’s been in turmoil since the day Deacon left and I’m no better than when this started.

Lucas shakes his head. “No, sweetheart. What he did was indefensible. I don’t know what happened, but something set him off. Maybe it was being near me again after all these years. He hated me, and I don’t blame him. He only tolerated me because of how much he loved you.” He ruffles my hair.

“Hey.” I laugh.

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