Page 92 of Only Ever You

I’m sure everyone thinks I’m a fool to still be this heartbroken when Deacon’s made it clear he’s getting on with his life. And I’m not doing myself any good stalking his Instagram, seeing he’s out there with other women—living his life while I sit here day after day not knowing what to do next.

The only thing I do know is that I have to go on, and I have to find a way to make a new life without him. I need to look after myself and the baby I’m carrying. Hell, I need to drag myself to the doctor’s office for a check-up, but I haven’t managed to do that yet.

The first thing I do in the morning is check Deacon’s Instagram. I shouldn’t—all it does is dig the pain in deeper.

What the hell?

Every photo he’s taken in the past month is gone.

The last photo he has still up is the one he posted for our engagement. He’s smiling at the camera. I’m smiling at him like he hung the moon. He did. He still does.

What does this mean?

It’d be far too easy to read something into this. Maybe Garrett, Victor, and Mallory told him it made the company look bad—I don’t know. He surely hasn’t had a change of heart.

I’m not sure I’d know what to do if he did.

Even if we’re never together, I still want some answers.

Why did he leave?

Why did he make things worse every day posting those images?

How could he spend time with Adeline after she disrespected me?

Thinking about this whole thing sends me spiralling again. It’s the hell I’ve lived in this past month, unable to move forward.

I know I have to eventually, but until then I’m going to second guess everything in my life.

By early afternoon, the constant buzzing in my head has become unbearable, and I give up trying to read and head out to the beach.

Sitting on the sand with the sea breeze flowing doesn’t completely clear my mind, but it gives me a break from the heavy stuff.

I draw in a deep breath of sea air and cross my fingers with a quick prayer that it’ll help me sleep better tonight.

I’m sure it won’t, but I can have hope.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

I’m hearing things. I must be.

Deacon’s back at work. He’s definitely not here with me on this beach.

I thought he loved me, but it’s clear it was all just some game to him.

“Pipsqueak.”

Something brushes my hand, and I look down to find a man’s fingers lingering on my skin.

No.

I swing my gaze up.

His eyes search mine, and he frowns.

“What are you doing here?” I croak.

“I’ve messed up so bad. I love you, Pippa. I owe you such a big apology.”

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