Page 45 of Even Ground

“She’s always made me feel clucky too.”

I shift my gaze back to Pania. “Always?”

“From the moment she was born. I held that little baby in my arms and fell in love. That feeling’s never gone away.”

“It’s all new to me.”

Her entire face lights up. “It’s not like anything else. Must be a whole other level when it’s your own child.”

I gulp. For a long time, I’d pushed settling down and having children to the back of my head. It’s not like there’s any rush when I’m still in my mid-twenties, but Amelia has made me second guess myself.

Pania places her hand on my arm. “I’ll unbuckle her belt.”

Cool night air floods the car as she opens her door, and I take a deep breath.

The longer I spend with this family, the more I see what I’m missing out on.

9

Pania

Flying from New Zealand to the US is draining, but it’s nothing compared to flying from LA to Honolulu with a five-year-old as company.

“Are we there yet?”

I look over at Melly, lying in her comfy bed, just as I am, on this flight that never seems to end.

“Are you serious?” I screw my nose up at her.

“I want to see Mummy.”

Her big brown eyes turn even bigger if that’s at all possible, and she does the best hang-dog expression of any kid I’ve ever met.

“Me too, sweet pea. We’ll see her soon. You know she’ll be counting down the seconds until she has you in her arms.”

Melly’s lips lift slightly from the pout she’s had going on all day. A week probably feels like a lifetime to a kid who’s never really been apart from her mother. But we’ve all managed to keep her busy and distracted, and now she’ll be reunited with Delaney, who I know is desperately missing her too.

A week in Reece’s company has eased us into a friendship. There’s a part of me that wants to jump his bones whenever I see him, and I occasionally get side-tracked by his shameless flirting, but my feet are firmly on the ground as far as anything more goes.

“It’s not much farther, and they’ll be waiting for us at the airport.”

“Pania—”

“If you ask me if we’re there yet,” I say, interrupting Reece who’s sitting in the next seat down from me. “I’ll get up and throttle you.”

He chuckles. “No, I just thought you might like to go for a drive when we get there. I can show you around.”

For most of the week, we went sightseeing in LA. Reece took me to so many famous places, and I have a ton of photos for Mum. I might have even sneaked in a few of him when he wasn’t looking.

“I’d like that.”

“I don’t think we’ll do too much this week. Just enjoy the sun and get in some swimming.”

“I can swim,” Amelia says. She forms an O with her mouth like she does when she’s excited about something. “We can go to the beach.”

“We can, and there’s a pool,” Reece says.

He and Amelia talk about swimming while I close my eyes. At least this trip is more comfortable. I might have to insist on a bed on the way home.

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