Page 54 of Even Ground

And then I climb the stairs without looking behind me, tiredness taking over.

I’ve got some thinking to do.

11

Reece

Things change after that night.

Pania hasn’t told Delaney or Josh about Jessie, or one of them would have said something. Instead, she’s avoiding me, spending all her time with Delaney. And when we do come into contact, I’m left unsure whether we’re flirting or sparring. It’s unfamiliar territory. And Josh’s words still ring in the back of my mind. I can’t just have a fling with her. Not that I really know if she’d want that anyway.

On our last night, after dinner, I’m left alone. Ros and Cal have gone to bed early every night this week—the effect the islands have when you bounce out of bed at some ridiculous hour.

Delaney took Amelia upstairs for a bath a while ago, and Josh followed them sometime later. But at some point in the evening, I lost track of Pania.

This is my last chance to tell her I’m feeling … something.

I find her out the back of the house, dangling her feet in the swimming pool and looking up at the stars.

“Sorry to disturb you,” I say as I step up beside her.

She tilts her head back and looks up at me. “I heard you coming. You’re not exactly quiet.”

"Thank you for not telling the others about Jessie. It’s just awkward. And in the past.”

Pania smacks her lips together. “It’s not my story to tell. Whatever it is.”

“Well, thanks.” I slide my hands into my pockets and rock back on my heels. “What are you doing?”

She takes a deep breath. “I love it out here. I know I’m far away from New Zealand, but this feels like home. And it’s not just your house, which is amazing, but it’s the people and the culture. Thank you for letting me stay.”

I drop to the ground beside her, and dangle my feet in the water too. Leaning back on my palms, I look up at the night sky. “You’re welcome. I’m glad to see you’ve enjoyed your time here.”

Her gaze meets mine. In the soft light, I can see the flecks of green that surround her hazel eyes. It’s so hard to remember my promise to Josh when I find her so damn attractive.

“I loved it. You’re so lucky to have this place to escape to when you need it. It’s so relaxing, but at the same time, the city’s not too far away.”

“You’re welcome to come here any time.”

She smiles and drops her gaze. “I’m looking forward to going home, but I’ll miss this. I’ll miss all of you.”

Her lips twitch, and my eyes go straight to them. What would it be like to kiss her? My heart thuds. I move my hand a little closer.

“And then I think about how our lives have changed, and how I have to get on with the new challenges of my life without the people who mean the most to me.” She raises her head again. “I’m so glad I came here, though. I got to be by my best friend’s side as she married the love of her life.”

I sit up and rub my neck. “It’s kind of weird to think about how much all our lives have changed these past few months.”

Pania shrugs. “Yes, but it’s all good. Those two inside make love look so easy, but I don’t think it happens that way all the time.”

I swallow hard. It feels as if, sometimes, she sees right through me, even though she seems to be talking about her own experiences.

“Have you ever been in love?” I blurt out.

Pania scrunches her nose. “I’ve thought so a couple of times. But I don’t think I’m the easiest person to love. A lot of men don’t like a woman who speaks their mind.”

I cock my head. “I think it’s great. It’s what I respect about you and Delaney. I can see how the two of you made such a great team for so long.”

She laughs. “We’ve had some good times. Some really shit ones, too, but the good outnumbers the bad by a lot.”

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