Page 24 of Devil Seeks Nanny

I keep my expression stoic, though I can’t help but raise an eyebrow at her, bemused. “I came to make sure you were—” I cut myself off before I can utter the words still alive. It would be insensitive as fuck for me to say that to her, especially right now. So, I tighten my jaw and stiffly finish off, “Okay.” Diana blinks at me. “It’s late, and you weren’t back at the house.”

Diana glances at the clock on the wall to her left, noticing the time. She winces slightly, running her fingers through her short hair before she looks at me again. She doesn’t look wary as she stares, only curious with a flicker of something else in those blue eyes I can’t pinpoint. “How’d you know I was here?”

“Lucky guess,” I say with a slight but wry smile. I’m not about to tell her about the tracker on her phone and car.

She nods slowly, but her eyebrows still pull together as she shakes her head. “Wait, how’d you get in?”

She’s asking too many questions she won’t like the real answers to.

I frown at her, lifting my chin. “You left the door unlocked,” I lie, putting a stern tone into my voice. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? Anyone could’ve walked in.”

Diana’s eyes widen in horror, and a small part of me feels guilty for lying to her, for scaring her at the notion of someone breaking in. When, in reality, I’m the one who broke in. But I’m not about to let her in on that truth, either.

Before she can say anything, I ask, “What are you doing here, Diana?”

Her expression suddenly falls, blinking quickly, and I’m positive she’s trying to keep the tears at bay. She sits with her hands in her lap, fiddling with her nails as she breaks her gaze with mine. Diana looks around the living room and shrugs. “It’s my house. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

My jaw tightens as I recall the worry that had confounded me when I realized she wasn’t at my house. All I could think of was making sure she was alright, that she was safe, because in my line of work, in my life, that is a more prevalent priority. And when I hadn’t known about where she was and what she was doing, my mind had gone to the worst-case scenario, because it’s no secret that she works for me. People who work for me are at more risk, and I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t get caught in any kind of crossfire.

“That’s not what I mean,” I say, albeit a little impatiently. She tenses at my firm tone. “It’s late, and you weren’t answering your phone. I’m trusting you to take care of my kids every day, but that also means you take care of yourself, too. You were gone all day, and I needed to make sure you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere.”

The last few words slip out fiercely and accidentally, and I catch the flinch that shudders through Diana as soon as I utter them. I press my lips together, my jaw tightening as regret pounds through me for a moment. I tell myself to calm down, that she’s safe and sound, and exhale sharply and quietly through my nose.

I move then and walk toward the couch. Diana’s gaze is on me as I settle down on it next to her, though I make sure to keep some distance between us. I don’t want to encroach on her personal space, despite how crazy her familiar scent is driving me, and how badly I want to feel the softness of her skin again. I wonder if she’s soft everywhere. She looks like she is.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Diana says quietly, lips twisting to the side briefly. “I just got. . .” Her throat works. “Overwhelmed. I’m sorry.”

Those last two words feel like a kick to the gut. As on edge as I had gotten, I also don’t want her to feel guilty. She came here to grieve—am I that much of an asshole to scold her for that? When I glance at her and see the delicate column of her throat working, my resolve weakens, which is unheard of, and I try not to focus on the rarity of it.

“Don’t apologize,” I find myself saying gruffly. “Just—keep in touch. Answer your phone.”

She nods in acceptance. Diana rubs her hands down her thighs, which are covered in the loose linen pants she wears. She takes a breath as if erasing all of the tears that had plagued her, and she asks with a smile, “What’d you do with the kids today?”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out she’s seeking a distraction, and I’ll indulge her for now. One corner of my mouth tips up in a wry smile. “We went to the movies, they stuffed themselves with McDonald’s. Matteo wanted a new Lego set and Monica wanted art supplies, so we had a mini shopping day.” I nod, gaze dropping to my hands that are interlaced together. My smile widens ever so slightly without much thought as I think of today, of the time I spent with my kids. “It was a good day.”

“Good,” Diana murmurs from next to me. I catch her nodding, smiling slightly as well. “I’m glad.” Her gaze is straight ahead, and she almost absently adds quietly, “We should always make time to spend it with those we love the most.”

I follow her gaze, and it lands on the framed photographs on the mantle, all of Diana with her father. The longer I stare at the images, taken of Diana with her dad at various points of their lives, the more the anger fires up in my veins. A fierce wave of protection washes over me, and I find myself wanting nothing more than to shield her from the pain that haunts her. My grip on my own hands tightens. The second I find out the mystery behind this fucking fire, and Benny’s death, I’m going to take my Goddamn time putting whoever did this through hell.

They deserved nothing less. If they exist.

“Don’t ever let your grief consume you, no matter how badly you think that it will,” I find myself suddenly saying. Diana’s gaze snaps to me, and I clench my jaw, keeping my gaze on the photos. “There were days after. . . After Maria’s death—” My throat works because I don’t talk about her with anyone except the kids, and I can feel all of Diana’s attention on me now. “When I thought I’d let my grief and anger take over. I thought I’d welcome it. But then I thought of Monica and Matteo, and how Maria would want me to be here with them, for them. They’re the only pieces of her I’ve got left. So, I make sure my kids and I know that we’re living our lives to honor hers.”

Diana takes a breath at that, and I feel a weight I didn’t know was resting on my shoulders lift slightly after I utter those words. I’m not sure if it’s because of Diana but talking about my late wife with her feels a lot easier than I thought it would.

“I like that,” Diana murmurs gently. Her head bows then. “But I don’t have much left of my dad’s. The bakery’s gone, and all I have is this house.”

“And yourself,” I tell her. Diana’s gaze meets mine, those bright blue eyes rivaling an ocean. “He would want you to live your life for yourself. You’re his only child—you are his legacy, Diana. And I’m sure you’ve already made him proud.”

Her throat works, her eyes glassing over. “You think so?” she whispers, the vulnerability in her voice and eyes clear.

I nod, my throat tight. “I know so.”

Chapter 16

BRUNO

“Um,” Diana speaks up after a few prolonged moments of silence, clearing her throat. She flashes me a quick smile before saying, “We should, uh, head back ho—to your place.”

---