Page 46 of Trig

I turn and give her a big hug. “Thanks! I appreciate it.”

I look around for her husband and kids. I’m dying for a private moment with her. We’ve been exchanging smiles and glances all night and we both know what’s coming.

“Looking for Todd? He’s busy cleaning bubblegum out of my toddler’s hair, and your wife seems occupied on the dance floor with the kids. Let’s do this.”

“Fucking Todd! What is he, an accountant?”

“You would know. You hired private investigators to hunt me down.”

“So? You’re lucky I didn’t hire them sooner.”

“It's…disrespectful.”

“What the fuck? You know what’s disrespectful? You disappearing like a bunny in a magician's hat all the time. Give me a break.”

“Trig, that’s not fair. You know why I left.”

“Do I, Torrie? Do I really, though? I think I know why you left, but you and I never had this conversation. You just fucking split and left me fighting for my life.”

“Fighting? Please! Financially, you were taken care of,” she grits out.

“I didn’t need your fucking money. I needed you,” I shout.

“Lower your voice,” she whispers harshly.

“Fix your tone,” I snap back.

“I will when you tell me why the hell your name is Mike Krackle.”

“I’ll tell you that when you tell me why you have three kids, but Todd isn’t the daddy. Does square pants know he’s not the father?”

“How the fuck do you know that?” she snarls.

I scowl at her and she scowls back.

“Look, I didn’t ask you to come so we could fight.”

“Well, you could have fooled me,” she shoots back.

“I miss you,” I say.

She softens up.

“Goddamn it, Trigger. I wish we weren’t like this.”

“We don’t have to be.”

We both stand there looking at each other.

“I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry you had to deal with everything by yourself. I’m sorry I was a selfish and shitty sister. I was weak. Sometimes pathetic. I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. As you grew up, I just…I just…felt ashamed at the thought of being in your presence. What am I going to do? Slide back in and be a big sis again, like I never abandoned you? I know you must hate me. I fucking know I hurt you and I live with that shit every day. I’m a terrible fucking person for that, and maybe one day you’ll forgive me, but I don’t expect you to. I have never expected your grace.”

“Don’t victimize yourself. You never asked. You never gave me the opportunity to decide the fate of our relationship. In your head, you decided for us that I was incapable of understanding or forgiving. So why even try, right?” I pause. “Ask me,” I say, while crossing my arms.

She shakes her head and looks away toward the gathering of people.

“Ask me,” I repeat.

She looks back at me, takes a moment and then finally does it. “Will you forgive me for abandoning you…” her voice cracks, “every time you needed me?”

---