Page 55 of Nine

He’s pacing back and forth.

“Me? You don’t have the right to do what you just did back there,” I say.

Trig looks at me and snorts. He runs both his hands down his face.

“You still don’t get it, do you? This is me, fighting for you, but I can’t keep fighting for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for.”

I look at him, and I can’t even speak.

“No words?” he questions.

I remain silent.

“Fuck it all then,” he grumbles. “Do whatever you want.”

Trig turns to walk away.

“You hurt me at the hotel.”

He stops and swings around.

“So you run off to a bar and start doing lines with that asshole in there?”

“I was hurt, Trig. I panicked.”

“No. You wanted me to give you a reason to go. So I did, and you took off the first chance you could.”

“You don’t know anything. You have no idea how hard this is for me.”

“You really think I don’t know? I listen to every word that comes out of your mouth. I know.”

“You don’t know shit,” I yell.

He puffs his cheeks out, exhales, and then covers his mouth with both hands briefly.

“I know you can’t tolerate the way you feel when you’re around me. It’s not because you don’t like it, it’s because you do like it. You sit there trying to find reasons why you shouldn’t feel this way, and I know it’s only because no one in your life has ever loved you more than me. No one.”

My entire body feels God-smacked and I just stand there looking at him. In this fit of rage, he just admitted he loves me. At least I think so. I am still totally high out of my mind.

“Rewind. Did you just…” I start to ask.

Trig is still fired up.

“I’m not repeating it again, woman.”

I stand there and digest what he just said. There’s no other meaning.

“I said what I said back at the hotel just to piss you off. I was hoping it would snap you out of it. I didn’t think it would send you back into an escort relapse. Jesus. I thought you were stronger than that, Nine.”

“It still hurt me to hear those words.”

“I would be worried if it didn’t.”

“Trig, do you really lo—” I try to ask again.

I feel my stomach turn and the acid rise up. I vomit all over his shoes. I collapse to the ground and continue vomiting. I might have had too many shots in there.

“Shit,” I hear him say under his breath.

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