Page 26 of Nine

“We should go inside,” he says.

I nod and stand up. We both trail into the house. He waves to the bed as we step inside the room.

“All yours.”

I sit down on the mattress as he plops down on a nearby sofa and picks up a magazine.

“Do you ever sleep?” I question.

“Rarely.”

“Care for nightcap?” I ask, hoping he’ll partake and pass out so I can make a run for it.

“Go to sleep, Nine.”

I climb over the bed and into the covers as Trig dims the lamp next to him. I lay on my right side, looking out the window to the lake. It takes me hours, but eventually I fall asleep. I begin to dream of everything that’s happened to me lately, and of painful things I’ve packed away in my memory. I’m in the hotel with Victor and I can’t move. He’s choking and beating me. I see the knife and then it enters my side. I cry out in pain and all of a sudden, I look up to see my Uncle Fred, not Victor. I’m no longer in a hotel. The dream has changed and now I’m in a dark bedroom. I’m just a little girl and my uncle’s touching me in places he shouldn’t. He grabs me by my throat and laughs.

I wake up from my nightmare drenched in sweat. I’m choking and crying. In confusion, I jump out of bed and try to run for the door, but I have no idea where I’m at. I’m frantic and disoriented, and this room is pitch black. Suddenly I feel hands grab me from behind. I’m kicking and screaming when my body is twirled around.

“Nine, It’s me. Look at me,” Trig yells. “It’s just me,” he repeats.

I collapse in his arms. I’m sobbing, as we both fall to the floor. He scoots me up into his lap and cradles me. We stay like that for a few minutes until I calm down. He suddenly moves and picks me up, carrying me back to the bed. He gently places me down and covers me up. He’s about to walk away, when I grab his hand.

“Lay with me.”

He looks at me with uncertainty.

“Please,” I beg.

He climbs over the bed and lays down next to me. I need to touch him again. There is something soothing about it. I don’t even care what he is or what he does at the moment. He makes my demons disappear and I need that right now. I turn on my back and inch my hand closer and closer to his. Our fingers are now slightly touching. I move my hand entirely inside of his. He wraps his hand around mine, and that’s where I find my peace. I close my eyes and fall back asleep.

Chapter 5. Breaking My Heart

The heat from the morning sun warms my back as it shines through the patio door. I open my eyes to see something worrisome. My arm is thrown over Trig’s chest, and my leg is thrown over his thigh. Trig’s arm is wedged under my neck and his hand seems to be comfortably resting on my backside. The setup alone freaks me out. I panic and quietly slide away from him. I pull myself up from the bed and stand there. What the hell is this, I think, as I stare down at him? This is cuddling. I don’t cuddle. I grab my gym bag off the floor and run to the bathroom. I sit down on the toilet and collect myself. I’m falling apart. I’m seeing things. I’m having nightmares. This is me, destination: crazy house.

I pull out a pair of blue jean shorts, a tank top, and a short white vest and put them on. I rummage through the bag and take out my makeup. I have to do something about this face. I feel like a victim, and I don’t want to feel this way. I get to work by applying concealer, primers, and foundation. After forty to fifty minutes passes by, I’ve applied eyeshadow, mascara, and put lip-gloss on these cracked lips. I pull out some white high heels and slip into them. This is about as good as I’m going to look. I can still see the bruises under the makeup, but I look better than I did before. I start looking through the bag to see what else I put in here. I stumble upon a small toothbrush and toothpaste in an inner pocket. With my morning breath, I’m glad to see it. I brush my teeth and then I stuff Trig’s shirt into my bag. I take one last look at myself in the mirror and then walk out to the bedroom.

Trig is wide-awake and sitting on the edge of the bed. I notice he’s wearing a shirt. It’s probably one of his brother’s. He looks me up and down and then his mouth gapes open.

“I clean up nice, yeah?” I spin around.

“Very nice,” he says, still eyeing me.

“You’d be surprised what makeup can do,” I joke.

“You don’t need the makeup. You’re beautiful without it,” Trig says.

We stare at each other for a few seconds before the door opens.

“Are you two hungry?” Bones interrupts. “Goddamn, woman,” he says, as his eyes fall upon me. Trig’s eyes shoot over to him almost in warning. I politely smile and look away.

I feel like myself now. I could fall back into line and not even think about what happened again. “I’m hungry,” I say, as I walk straight to Bones. He grabs my hand and escorts me out to the kitchen. I look back to see Trig. He looks a bit bothered, and for whatever reason, stays in the bedroom.

I jump up on the kitchen counter and sit down. I spot an open box of doughnuts. “This is breakfast?” I ask, as my heels swing back and forth.

Bones takes a joint out of his shirt pocket and lights it up. “Yup,” he says, as he takes a puff.

“Screw the doughnuts. I’ll have what you’re having.” I smile.

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