Page 40 of Nine

Trig looks down. I swear a minute passes before he looks up again, and by this time, my thoughts are totally unleashed. I see security pass by in a go-cart.

“I know this is really bad timing, but we have to go, Nine,” he says.

“No. You don’t just drop some shit like that and tell me we have to go. You can’t just tell me the only person I have ever fucking cared about is dead.” I grit my teeth.

“Jenny was hiding something from you.”

“Is that supposed to make the fact that her life was taken away, okay?” I cut my eyes at him.

“No. I’m just saying things may not have been what they seem.”

I’m seriously torn. Part of me wants to bash his face in with my high heel and the other part of me wants to collapse into his lap right here in the middle of this parking lot.

“You don’t know the truth,” I yell. “And now…I guess I won’t either.”

He nervously looks over his shoulder as a cop car passes by. He stares back to me.

“Baby, we have to go, now.”

I shake my head at him.

“I bet you just left her body there, didn’t you?”

Trig remains quiet. He licks his lips and takes his verbal thrashing.

“And you expect me to trust you. I bet you went in and probably climbed over her body to get to that room. Did you even stop to see if she was still alive? Did you?” I yell. “Finding those drugs was way more important to you. Well, let me tell you something. That girl was one in a million and she doesn’t deserve for her corpse to remain rotting away like it probably still is.” I pause to catch my breath. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

I pick up the heavy bags and march ahead of him.

“She had a bullet through her head, and yes, I still checked for a pulse,” Trig says from behind me.

I stop in my tracks, but don’t turn around. As soon as I can force myself to walk again I do so. I’m furious with Trig. He withheld Jenny’s death from me, and I find that unforgivable. I’m too hurt to think logically and too wound up to be rational. I imagine poor Jenny’s body lying there in a pool of blood. I’m walking hard and fast and I don’t even know how I’m doing it with these heavy bags and heels. My mind is bouncing between Trig, Jenny, Victor, and The Savior. I want blood. I want revenge. I finally understand the eye for an eye logic. I want the person who did this dead, and then I realize they probably already are. This had to be the work of The Savior. Now my thoughts race back to Trig and how pissed I am at him. It wouldn’t have mattered if he had told me earlier. It would have pained me just as much.

Once inside the airport. I dash toward the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Trig shouts.

I barely manage to lift one bag high enough to toss up my middle finger at him. I’m angry at her death and at him for just now telling me. I’m about to get on a plane and leave. This feels wrong.

I enter the bathroom and rush to find the closest stall. I can barely lock the door behind me because my hands are shaking so badly. I drop the bags, sit down on the toilet, and let the floodgates open from my eyes. I’m sobbing uncontrollably to the point I can’t even see clearly anymore. I still can’t believe she’s dead. I was supposed to protect her. I failed. But what if Trig is right. What if she did something bad? What if she really did betray me? No. I won’t hear of it. This is all Victor’s fault. Every bit of it is. He killed Trig’s brother, he stole from The Savior, and he hurt me. Everything that has happened is because of him. I hope he rots in the bowels of hell. I hope his soul is tormented for eternity. My head falls into my hands. I’m crying so hard that my breathing is labored. I hate this life. I don’t want to feel the pain that it keeps serving me.

“Honey, are you okay?” I hear a female voice say.

I grab a piece of toilet paper and blow my nose. I grab another one and quickly wipe my eyes. I exit the stall to see an airport TSA worker washing her hands. She’s thin, tall, and twice my age.

“I’m fine,” I reply, as I try to clean up my face in the mirror.

“You don’t look fine at all,” she says.

I turn to her. I need to get some things off my chest or I’ll lose it.

“I’ve just lost the only person I have ever cared about and now I’m about to start a new life with a person I hardly know. One of them was keeping secrets and the other is withholding information.”

“Things will get better. I promise. I just left my husband for another man too,” she says.

I almost tell her that’s not what I meant, but I figure its best if she doesn’t know. I smile, wash my hands, and leave the restroom. When I come out, Trig is exchanging money for an envelope with a short, bald guy.

“Is this the one?” The bald guy points to me. I look to Trig who just nods. “The pretty ones are always trouble.”

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