Page 87 of The Sundered Realms

Liris remembered her ambient despair in Serenthuar that had flattened her to inertia and thought she understood that a little.

She loved the thrill of field spellcasting and of knowing her work was unique and made a difference. She couldn’t imagine what could make her want to give that up, but it was true she hadn’t seen much of the world yet. She wouldn’t promise him she wasn’t going anywhere until she was certain that was true, and maybe by then he’d believe she meant it.

So instead Liris reached out a hand and clasped his. He adjusted, lacing their fingers together, and for a long moment Liris just sat there, reveling in this feeling of not knowing what was in store. In the feeling of being with him; of being touched by another person, and touching what and who she chose in return.

That made her palms start sweating, and she took a deep breath and tried to ignore it. She would manage to literally touch another person without overthinking whether she was doing it wrong, void take it.

If this was part of a ploy to keep her from wanting to leave, it was effective. She suspected it was rather the opposite, though—Vhannor would worry her feelings for him would interfere with her reaching for her dreams.

As if he hadn’t supported her from the very first, even when he wasn’t willing to admit it. Even now, with this cloak she could wear anywhere on her travels, with or without him.

Somehow, she had to figure out how to support him as thoroughly.

The ball was in just a few days.

“Is that what you think happened to Jadrhun?” Liris asked. “He forgot that life went on outside his spells?”

Vhannor leaned back on the bench, gazing far away. “There never really was, for him,” he said. “But our pressures and supports were different. Jadrhun’s family is... mercenary and unethical, to put it bluntly. He was raised with the idea that if what he did wasn’t going to make incredible amounts of money for himself and by extension his family—not normal amounts, you understand, but hitherto unfathomable amounts—or transform their reputation and power in the world, then there was no point in doing it.

“He blatantly rejected that idea—if he had to be a caster and work for a living, they thought he should at least be an overwhelmingly wealthy one; Jadrhun, of course, then went and focused on the least lucrative disciplines of spellcasting he could find. But in his quest to thwart their influence, I think he may have internalized a twisted version instead.”

“If he wasn’t going to change the world, why bother,” Liris murmured.

Vhannor nodded. “Everyone thought we were rivals, but it wasn’t like that at all. We were both brilliant, but we both worked hard, too—we didn’t resent each other. It was nice, at least for me, to finally have someone to share being at that level with, the load of expectations, even if they were different ones.”

“Until he left.”

He blew out a breath. “Yeah. I might have known him better than anyone, but we were still both so cautious around each other I’m not sure I could have called us friends. Now he’s gone to demons, and I can’t help wondering—I knew, as much as anyone did, how desperate he was. If I’d made an effort to be more reliable to him, then maybe—“

“You didn’t make him choose to bring demons into the world,” Liris said.

“Oh, I’m aware,” Vhannor said. “But it’s a thought that gives me some perspective, nevertheless. Jadrhun may not have ever known I considered him important in his own right, rather than for what he could do. I’m not going to make that mistake again with you.”

That was a touching sentiment, even though Liris wasn’t entirely sure she agreed that her value was separate from her actions. She did value Vhannor’s reflection and insight, and the candor that for once she hadn’t had to extract from him.

But she also didn’t want to be endlessly compared to Vhannor’s past mistakes. First Shry, now Jadrhun.

“No, you won’t,” she agreed, lifting their linked hands to her lips and placing a kiss on his.

Vhannor’s fingers clenched, and his burning gaze focused entirely on her, now.

Liris smiled. “With me you can take all new risks.”

She’d make sure of it.

Her resolve to prove that was promptly tested by their next mission in the mountains of Hinsheoress.

With little arable land, Hinsheoress survived by exporting livestock and their products, able to handle the literal mass of the trade with multiple large Gates. The only buildings Liris and Vhannor passed on their skimmers were houses, processing plants, temples, or temple offices for handling the bureaucracy to support all the trade, and occasional prayer flags that didn’t mark anything Liris could identify.

Where the endless grasslands had made her feel like there were no limitations, here the miles of rolling brown hills seemed... final. Peaceful, but strangely oppressive.

It might have been that this was her last chance to prove she could be a reliable field spellcasting partner. They’d agreed she could take the lead with dispelling this portal, and while Liris performed well under pressure, that didn’t mean she wasn’t aware when pressure existed.

It might have also been her literal ability to breathe. Vhannor had taught her another spell to help her lungs adjust to the thinner air, with the caution that if she was knocked out and couldn’t renew it, her body would not take it well. Even so, he was careful to stop frequently for water as they hiked to the sacred lakes—skimmers forbidden here—and Liris knew enough stories of thrill-seeking travelers dying on their treks that she was uncharacteristically subdued.

That and the creeping sensation, so sickly familiar from Serenthuar, that no matter what she said or did, she’d fail to measure up. At least mountains in the middle of nowhere were a good place for her to practice, but she wasn’t pleased she was so dangerous it had come to that.

So first, naturally, Liris couldn’t even reach the demon portal. There was one wooden dock and a boat for ceremonial purposes, and of course the boat, drifting in a lake so brilliantly blue she’d assumed paintings had exaggerated, was where the demon portal had been written.

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