Page 30 of Saved By the Rogue

"You were going to tell me what happened," she reminded me. "Before...before my father got in the way."

I sighed. I had been trying to duck and dive this question for a long time, but now everything had calmed down, I figured there was no choice for me but to come out and say it.

"Yeah, I know," I replied softly. She sank down on to the couch next to me, linking her fingers with mine.

"You know you can tell me about it, right?" she asked. I paused, silent. I had hidden this for so long, I didn’t even really know where to begin.

"I know," I agreed. "I just..."

I trailed off. Shit, that part of my life was so far removed from where I was now, it was almost strange to think about it. She squeezed my hand, silently telling me she would be here for me when I was ready.

"I was an addict," I replied. "Heroin. Started when I was a teenager, I was using...I was using it pretty hard. My link-up sold from the Kennels, that’s how Chuck met me...well, found me, when I was passed out on the street outside."

Her eyes widened.

"He found you like that?"

I nodded.

"Sometimes I don’t know why he didn’t just leave me," I muttered. "I don’t know why he pulled me off the street. I don’t get it."

"Because you were worth it, Jax," she told me firmly. "He could see that in you. Even then. Why else would he have done it?"

I shrugged.

"I don’t know," I admitted. "But I don’t know if I deserved it."

She stared at me.

"You really still wonder if you deserved it?" she asked, as though hardly able to believe what she was hearing. I nodded.

"I just...after all the shit I put myself through, I feel like the best I can do is just keep pushing, not ask anything from anyone," I replied, gruffly. "I don’t want to impose on them any more than I already have..."

She lifted a hand to my cheek softly.

"You don’t need to feel that way with me," she told me gently. "You know that, right?"

I grunted.

"No, Jaxon, listen to me," she insisted. "You don’t need to hide yourself from me. God knows I didn’t hide myself from you, not who I was, not what I’d done, not where I’d come from...and you’ve never treated me as less-than because of it, have you?”

"I never would," I replied fiercely, and I meant it. The thought of giving her any less than she deserved made my chest ache. She had been through so much, and all I wanted in the world was to show her that she could trust me to give her the world now.

"So give that to yourself, too," she urged me. "You don’t have to keep hiding yourself from everyone. Hiding your talents, hiding your passions. You’re worth caring about, okay? And I know Chuck is kind of a hard-ass, but he wouldn’t have kept you around all this time if he didn’t think the same thing."

I finally turned to face her, something in me softening at last. I didn’t know exactly what to say. I wanted to believe her, I needed to believe her – but I was sure it would take some time before I was totally sold on the idea.

"You believe me?" she asked me, her eyes full of hope. I managed to nod. I didn’t know if it was the truth, but damn, if that’s what she wanted from me, then I would sure as hell try.

"Yeah," I murmured. "I believe you."

And, with that, I kissed her again, pulling her into my lap and wrapping my arms around her. I felt as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, finally being free about my past with her – letting her see the darkest side of me, and knowing she didn’t hate me because of it. Knowing she could see me, all of me, and accept me.

I pushed my hands into her long hair, pulling her in close to me, our tongues coming together with a passion that was practiced, but just as exciting as it had been the first time around. The way she lit me up, it was like nothing else in the world, like my whole body sparked to life to meet her.

She grinned against my mouth, slipping her arms around me and letting herself down on to my lap, so I could feel her body pressed against mine. I started to stir at once, my cock aching beneath my pants – as though we hadn’t spent most of the last ten days holed up in here, loving on each other in the newfound freedom she had from her father. This whole time, it had felt like there was still so much to figure out, so much to pull together, but now, here, at last, we could just give ourselves to each other completely.

She slipped her hand down the front of my body, brushing her fingertips across my cock and letting out a needy little sigh against my mouth. Fuck, I loved hearing the noises she made, hearing the want she couldn’t deny when we were together.

---