Page 13 of Saved By the Rogue

"Jaxon, I-"

"You need to go back to your room," he repeated himself firmly, his voice dropping slightly as though he was making damn sure I knew what he was talking about. I gritted my teeth. I didn’t know what else I was meant to do or say right now, but my body was tingling with the electricity of his touch, and he couldn’t expect me to just switch that off, could he? He couldn’t expect me to just pretend I hadn’t felt it.

He turned and walked away from me, and, breathing hard, I watched him as he went. I wanted to call after him, but the word caught in my throat, and I knew, right now, it was better for me to just let him go than it was to try and force him to come back.

I didn’t know what the hell had just happened – but I knew that I wanted more.

And that I would do anything in my power to get it.

Chapter Eight – Jaxon

I pulled the bike to a halt outside the bar, letting the engine fall into silence. I didn’t want anyone to know I was here, not if I could avoid it, and the darkness surrounding this place seemed to match my mood right now.

The moment I had walked away from her, I knew I needed to do something to burn off some steam – and quickly. Kissing her had been a mistake, the kind of mistake I sure as hell wasn’t going to let myself make again. I needed to pull myself together, and the best way to do that was to get on my bike and drive.

Right now, I was scoping out the city for the men who had been tracking Star – I knew a few bars that guys like that, goons who were hired by men like Lombardi, spent time at, and I had stopped by a few already to no avail. I would have driven straight past this one, if I hadn’t seen one of the guys who’d come to the tattoo shop smoking outside before he headed back in to carry on drinking.

He hadn’t seen me as I’d pulled in to stake out the area, and I hoped to keep it that way. I wasn’t even sure what I was doing here, I just knew I couldn’t be back at the compound, so close to Star, after I had kissed her. This, at least, gave me something to do, something to focus on.

I made my way around to the back entrance of the bar, where one of the bartenders was outside smoking - I brushed past him without saying a word, figuring confidence was the best way to go about this, and he didn’t try to stop me. Probably wasn’t paid enough to play security on top of everything else...

Inside, I was surprised to see that the bar was actually pretty nice, as opposed to the usual dingy, run-down places Lombardi’s crew normally hung out in. Soft jazz music was playing over the speakers mounted in each corner, and a few couples flirted with each other at the bar. Damn, I didn’t have a whole lot in the way of cash on me, I hoped I’d have enough to buy an overpriced cocktail without bankrupting myself...

I grabbed a beer and retreated to a booth at the far side of the bar, watching the man I had seen smoking outside as he made heart eyes at a tipsy woman at the bar. He didn’t seem to notice me– didn't seem to be looking out for anyone who might have been on his tail. Which probably meant he had no reason to worry about it. Normally, in my experience, guys like that were always looking over their shoulders, always worried about getting caught or landing themselves in trouble. Did he even work for Lombardi? A freelancer, maybe...?

I sipped on the beer, trying not to attract too much attention, but I noticed the bartender who I had pushed past at the back door shooting looks over in my direction. Eventually, he waved over a guard on the door, and leaned over to him, whispering something and pointing towards me.

Alright, that was my cue to leave. I got to my feet and headed for the door quickly, throwing my leg over my bike and pulling away from the bar before anyone started asking too many questions.

The cold air rushed over my body as I took to the streets once more, and, before I could stop myself, I found my mind drifting back to her again. Damn, it felt like she was impossible to get out of my head – every time I tried to rid myself of her memory, she just came back, even more intense than before, even more insistent.

I didn’t know what I had been fucking thinking with that kiss. I should never have touched her face, never have let myself get that close to her, but the pain in her voice, it was familiar to me – the pain of feeling as though you weren’t good enough, the pain of feeling like you would never be able to live up to the expectations that had been laid down for her. I couldn’t let her think that she was suffering in it alone, but at the same time, I couldn’t spill my guts to her, put all of that on her. She didn’t deserve to handle all my shit; she didn’t need to hear it. Hell, I wasn’t sure if I could keep her around for much longer, if this was going to happen...

And her talking shit to Chuck, damn, that was going to get me in trouble too. I could tell he wasn’t sure at all about having her around, and her causing more trouble wasn’t exactly going to convince him that he had made the right call. She had an attitude , for sure, and I had to admit, there was a part of me that kind of liked it.

I kicked the bike to a halt outside the tattoo shop, which was dark right now; I could hear noise from deep inside the compound, and I figured the guys were in there, drinking, talking, having a good time.

I hadn’t told anyone where I was going, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to head in there and join them. Some nights, I could deal with being around the booze, but right now? No. I knew things were fragile, and I wasn’t going to push my luck by trying to force myself into normalcy. There was something about having her around, having Star so close to me, that left me feeling exposed in a way I had before. I could still remember the way her hands had dug into my sides as she hung on to me on the back of my bike, like she wished she could hold on tighter.

Like she didn’t want to let go.

I headed back over towards my apartment building, helmet tucked under one arm, no idea what I was going to do next. Sleep? Paint? Something to get my mind off of everything going on in my head right now, that was for sure. I pushed the key into the lock, headed up the stairs – and then stopped dead in my tracks when I saw who was leaning up against my door, waiting for me.

"Star?" I muttered. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Chapter Nine – Star

"Chuck told me this is where you lived," I explained to him. "The guys were being super-noisy downstairs, so I thought I would be better off coming here than trying to sleep in that room. Where have you been?"

Jaxon didn’t seem to know what the hell to say to me, and I knew it must have come as a surprise to see me here after what had happened between us before. I probably should have given him some warning, but I got the feeling he would have tried to get out of seeing me if I had given him the chance, and I wasn’t ready to let him slip through my fingers again.

"I was out," he replied, not moving to open his door. "You should go back to your room."

"I’m not going to get any sleep there," I replied, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. "You told me to keep out of Chuck’s way. That’s exactly what I’m doing, right?"

He eyed me for a moment, clearly trying to work out if there was some way to get rid of me, but he must have been able to tell from the look on my face that I wasn’t going anywhere. It wasn’t just about getting some sleep, though that was part of it – no, it was about being alone with him again, and picking up right where we had left off before.

That’s what I was craving right now. And that’s what I was reluctant to go without.

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