Page 54 of Secrets of Riverside

‘Why vent, it’s not going to change things.’ His smile was grim. ‘And I don’t really want to put it all on you.’

‘You’re not putting it all on me by simply talking to me about it.’

He thought about this but then tossed a hand through the air. ‘It’s my problem, not yours.’

‘Fair enough.’ As his gaze went back to the countryside, she regarded him thoughtfully. She knew all too well what it felt like to take the weight of the world upon her shoulders, and she sympathised with him doing the same. ‘Have you always been like this, or did something make you feel like you had to close off, to be able to deal with things?’

The look he shot in her direction was fired from somewhere raw and enflamed and damaged, and she instantly regretted being so candid. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’ She shook her head and looked away from him. ‘Me and my damn foot in mouth.’

‘Don’t worry about it, I get that horrid foot in mouth disease sometimes too.’ He veered his now playful gaze from hers, and back to the sunset-hued sky.

But as beautiful as it was, the sunset sky didn’t hold her captivated. Instead, she looked at him, and for the longest of moments, said nothing.

‘Why are you staring at me?’ He turned to her, and his regard was thoughtful. ‘Am I really that fascinating?’

She could see ghosts in his eyes, and caught a glimpse into the tortures in his soul. ‘You’re a mystery, Jarrah King.’

‘So are you, Millie.’

‘Two peas in a pod,’ they both said in union.

This lightened the mood instantly, and their laughter and easy conversation carried them into the twilight.

CHAPTER

18

The new day had dawned promisingly bright, giving Millie a false kind of hope. But despite her eagerness to soldier on, and through, whatever her results revealed, her fear was beginning to overcome her sense of calm reasoning. Now, with her heart in her throat and her adrenaline pumping, she stared at the doctor sitting opposite her, praying the conclusion she’d jumped to on her way there was very, very wrong. Please don’t let it be the C word. Damn Doctor Google for scaring her out of her wits.

Pull yourself together, Millie, she commanded silently. ‘So, why couldn’t you tell me about my results over the phone?’

‘I’m very happy to tell you that your blood work came back normal,’ the doctor said with a smile.

‘Oh, thank god.’ Her hand went to her chest.

He met her gaze and held it. ‘If all my patients were as healthy as you, I’d be out of a job.’ He inhaled sharply, his smile fading. ‘There is something you need to know, though.’

She was suddenly sick to her stomach. ‘What is it?’ She noted the twinkle in his eyes and relaxed a smidge.

‘You’re pregnant, Millie.’

Tears burnt behind her eyes, but she managed to hold them back. ‘I am?’

‘Yes, you are.’

There’s a life, growing inside me?

As she blinked faster, her hands and gaze came to her belly. ‘Do you know how far along I am?’

‘My guess is about four weeks.’

She looked at him through tear-blurred eyes.

Jarrah’s the father …

The thought echoed over and over again as the doctor spoke words to her that she was no longer hearing. She nodded, as if she were listening. Before she knew it, he’d risen from his chair and was guiding her towards the door. Then she’d paid on autopilot and her legs had carried her away from the receptionist. She wasn’t sure how she’d gotten from the doctor’s office to her car. But now here she was, sitting behind the steering wheel of her Jimny, staring out her windscreen as if she were staring into space. Suddenly stifled, she wound down her window, allowing in what little wind there was.

Resting back, she watched all the people moseying by as she attempted to drag in steady breaths – all the while her heart felt like it was about to beat right out of her chest. After miscarrying, and being told she might find it hard to fall pregnant in the near future, this news was an absolute blessing. Not an ideal situation, but a blessing all the same. What if Jarrah didn’t agree? What if he expected her to get an abortion? What if he wanted nothing to do with his child? There was no way she wasn’t going through with this pregnancy. She’d already lost a child. She wasn’t about to lose another. Panic fuelled her pulse. She wanted this life growing inside of her to be born into this world, so she could love him or her with all her heart and soul. Thank goodness all of this was covered under the confidentiality clause with her doctor, as he knew her real name, given she had to provide her Medicare card at her first appointment.

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