Page 53 of Secrets of Riverside

Her throat ached with emotion, and she allowed herself a few minutes to recover before rising to her feet and padding back inside. Jarrah had gotten her an appointment at the doctor’s at ten-thirty, and he’d also given her the day off, with strict orders to stay away from the roadhouse so she could rest. Mary would be filling in for her today. She still had a few hours to kill before heading into town, and she planned to go for an easy stroll. The fresh air would do her the world of good. She headed inside, dumped her cup into the sink and padded into the bathroom. Stripping off, she was just about to hop in the shower when an intense wave of nausea had her racing for the toilet. But by the time she’d reached it and dropped to her knees, the urge to heave her coffee back up had passed. Standing carefully, then slumping down on the lid of the loo just in case it returned, she leant forwards and took slow breaths. Maybe the pressure of being there was finally taking a toll on her?

You’re okay … it’s all going to be okay …

But she wasn’t okay. Soon enough she’d be heading back to Sydney, likely none the wiser to who had summoned her there, or why, and with her heart held in the hands of Jarrah. It was no wonder she was suffering from bouts of stress. She sat there for a little longer until she felt completely confident that she’d be able to stand. The warm water of her shower helped her to feel a little better. Once showered and dressed, she made her way outside and turned left, past the machinery shed and then the stables. Horses shifted and nickered in their stalls and she wondered if Jarrah was tending to them. Or maybe it was Tommy. The latter made her anxious. Wanting to avoid Jarrah’s nephew at all costs, she wasn’t about to risk finding out which one of them it was. She quickened her steps, but her getaway was botched when, thankfully, it was Jarrah who stepped from the stables, a shovel in his hand.

‘Oh, hey, Millie.’

‘Hey.’ She met his gaze and the dark rings beneath his baby blues stirred emotions. ‘Have you and Tommy sorted things out after what happened last night?’

His expression was pained. ‘Not really, but we’ll hopefully get there.’

She studied his forlorn face. ‘I wish there was something I could do.’

‘Yeah, me too.’ He sniffed hard, as if fighting off emotions. ‘But there isn’t, I’m afraid. Tommy’s a man, and he must take responsibility for his life and his actions, like I do.’ He shook his head. ‘I never should’ve hit him, but it was hard in the moment, when I was trying to defend myself.’

‘You can’t beat yourself up over it, Jarrah. What’s done is done, and I can vouch that he was the one who started it.’ The fact that Jarrah had been defending her honour made her feel both lucky and sad – she didn’t want to be the cause of their angst.

‘I know, but I still regret hitting him.’ With his riveting blue gaze pinned to hers, his broad shoulders lifted into a half-shrug. ‘I’m really sorry about how he spoke about you too, Millie.’

She was about to tell him he didn’t need to apologise for his nephew’s actions when the thunder of hoofs halted their conversation. Tommy came around the corner atop a jet-black horse, and the fluttering in her stomach morphed into waves of apprehension.

‘Well, I’ll be off, let you get back to it.’ The backs of her eyes were scalded with tears that she refused to shed as she quickly made her exit. ‘I’ll touch base when I get back from the doctor,’ she called over her shoulder.

‘Please do that,’ Jarrah called back.

She kept walking as she responded. ‘Will do.’

A few hours later, after a day of brilliant sunshine, grey clouds were now making their way across the blue, swallowing up the sky, giving relief from the balmy heat. Sitting on her patio, Millie briefly closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the feeling of the breeze cooling her face. When she’d gotten back from town, she hadn’t been able to find Jarrah, so she’d headed back to her motel room and made herself a coffee. He’d find her soon enough, she was sure. Tracking her gaze up the gentle rise, to where a small herd of his cattle ambled, then off to the left, where agisted horses grazed in their paddocks, she sighed. There was something so very peaceful about watching livestock. There was no obvious reason for the ominous feeling that had been sitting in the pit of her stomach since getting her blood tests, but try as she might, she couldn’t shake it. The doctor had been a little more concerned than she’d expected him to be. There’d been a mention of diabetes, and a few questions about her family history, but she wasn’t going to know the results for a couple of days, and not wanting to unnecessarily worry herself, she was doing her best to turn her attention elsewhere.

The crunch of tyres grabbed her attention and she turned to see Jarrah and Scruffball hop out of his LandCruiser and head towards her. ‘Hey, you pair.’ She gave him a friendly wave just as Scruff skidded to her side, his tongue dangling out the side of his chops.

‘Hey, I thought I’d call past and check how your visit to the doc’s went?’

‘Yeah, good, I think,’ she replied as she petted Scruff’s head. ‘He sent me for some blood tests, I should know the results in a couple of days.’

‘Oh righto, well, it’s good that he’s being thorough.’ He pointed to the chair. ‘Mind if I join you?’

‘Of course not, would you like a cuppa?’

‘No, but thanks.’ His chuckle was husky. ‘I reckon I’ve had four, or maybe even five, coffees, already today, and that’s way above my quota.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘I already can’t sleep, so I probably don’t need to add caffeine overuse to the list of reasons why I’ve become an insomniac.’

Wishing she was pressed up against him, she tried to shove the thought away. ‘I’m sorry to hear that; not being able to sleep sucks.’ She couldn’t believe just how much she wanted what they couldn’t have.

‘Uh-huh, it sure does, big time.’ His nod was exaggerated. ‘Sounds like you know all about it?’

‘Yes, I sure do.’ Maybe now was the time to tell him why she hadn’t been sleeping?

His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he cleared it a few times. He looked so broken, so torn, so much so that she wanted to reach out and offer him some comfort. But she didn’t, and instead shoved her free hand beneath her rump, as if that would stop her urges. Apprehension flooded her but she blinked the sensation away as she straightened and lifted her chin, then quietly cleared the emotion from her tightening throat. She needed to be honest with him and tell him she’d be leaving soon, and while she did it, she hoped to goodness she wasn’t going to cry.

‘Jarrah.’

He seemed a million miles away when he turned to her. ‘Hmm?’

She hesitated, weighing up if now was a good time – he looked so sad. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I feel a bit meh, but I’ll be right.’

She didn’t want to come between him and Tommy, but she wanted to at least be there for him, as he had been for her. ‘You can vent to me, you know, it might help.’

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