Page 4 of Enemies to Lovers on Biker's Path

“Say something nice to me or don’t,” he says, “but I’m not going to keep this up the way it’s going.”

“After what you did to Allison, you expect me to say something nice to you? You still haven’t apologized or explained anything to me.”

He sighs and says, “I don’t owe you an apology or an explanation, Zoe. Have you told Allison you’re fucking me? Does she know how often my dick is going in your cunt?”

I don’t know if it’s him giving me such a visceral reminder of the fact that sex with him is such an enormous betrayal of Allison or if it’s how he used my words. I don’t feel powerful about it now. Whatever it is, I don’t think about what I do next. My hand moves almost of its own accord and I slap the shit out of his face, glaring at him.

And I’m frightened—I mean, really frightened—for the first time in my life.

For the first time in my life, I see in the eyes of a Mountain Avenger exactly what it means that they’re outlaw bikers. I see all of the violence and criminality that the biker club does away from home. And I see it in the eyes a man who already hates me.

But then, all of the fury disappears from his eyes. “You won’t get an apology from me Zoe,” he says quietly. “You won’t get an explanation. You weren’t owed one back then, and you’re not owed one now.” He steps back and says, “And if you want anything else from me, you’ll have to ask me nicely, like… like this isn’t some pathetic, sick kind of thing that’s going on. I’m sorry, Zoe. I won’t do this. I won’t do this fight and fuck thing any longer.”

He turns around and I just stare at him in shock as he gets onto his Harley Davidson. I want to say something as the motorcycle roars to life but I just can’t. I can only stare as I try to wrap my head around things. And then, something really unexpected happens. I fall to my knees and break own crying. I don’t get it. I’m crying about losing him. This sense of loss seems far more powerful than when my college boyfriend and I split up. This… I don’t understand why I’m sad and not just pissed off.

I only make it to the next morning before I have to see him. I have a plan, though.

Chapter Five

He opens the door. I don’t mean to say what I say. It just comes out. “You’re not… You’re not wearing your cut.”

He nods. “Nothing happening today. Just lounging at home.”

“I’ve never seen you without your cut,” I say. “Um… I mean, since I got home from college.” Damn, he looks good. The muscles of his chest are very defined and far more obvious than they usually are without the vest obscuring them.

“Would you like to come in?” he asks a little warily. I feel a burst of anger when I realize I’ve been thinking about him in positive terms. I fight it back because I need to ask nicely.

“Yes, please,” I say.

He steps out of the way and I step in. He closes the door and asks, “Please have a seat. Can I get you anything?”

I manage to keep the fear away from my voice. I say softly, “You told me to ask you nicely. Can you please… make love to me.”

He’s surprised that I say that. He reaches for me and I catch his hand. “Wait… I mean. Um, rough. I want you to be very rough, please. I want you to just break me. If I can walk without wobbling when you’re done, it’s not rough enough.”

“Rough?”

I nod. “You can, um, fuck my ass, too. Nobody ever has. It’s okay. You can take it even if it hurts and I start crying. Just take everything you want. Just fuck me like you hate me, please.”

God, that’s terrifying!

He leans forward and I lift my mouth for his kiss but he doesn’t. He kisses my forehead. It’s a horribly sweet gesture so it pisses me off. I keep my emotions in check, though. He pulls back and asks in a remarkably gentle voice. “Your plan is for me to traumatize you, isn’t it?”

I stare at him for a moment and finally, lamely, ask, “What do you mean?”

He sighs and says, “We have something going on. I can’t live without you. You can’t live without me even though you hate me. You’re hoping I’ll hurt you. You want the experience to be so negative that you’ll be able to let go of me.”

I want to fight with him but he’s so absolutely correct. I feel my bottom lip trembling. I nod. He kisses my forehead again. That devastates me and I start crying. I guess because he’s the only one there to hold, I put my arms around him and weep against his chest. He holds me tightly and gently strokes my hair. I can’t believe how comforting it feels. He waits until I’m done crying and while still holding me, he says, “I can’t hurt you, Zoe. I’m sorry.”

My heart sinks. I say, “But how can we keep hating each other and needed each other?”

“It’s not each other, Zoe,” he says. “You hate me but I don’t hate you. I never have.”

I look up at him and say, “Can’t you just… any explanation? Any apology? Anything so that I don’t hate myself for all this? Please, Grant. I know I’ve never… Please.”

He wants to. I can tell from his eyes. He lets out a sigh and shakes his head. “The explanation isn’t mine to give you, Zoe. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“What do you mean it’s not yours to give me?” I push back and anger finally flares up. It feels good but then it just disappears at the sight of him. I want him.

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