Page 72 of Lee

Even if the Halversons decided to come to the park, it was big enough they shouldn’t run into each other, especially since she had a feeling they usually stayed in the same area. And this time, she’d avoid the garden.

There was a small creek that ran through a corner of the park, and she planned to see how close she could get to it. There would be plenty to take pictures of around that area.

She slowly drove through the park, searching for a spot near the creek where she could set up. When she finally found one, Rori pulled in to park along the side of the road, then she got out and retrieved her bags and the blanket.

There were a few picnic tables in the area, but they all had people gathered around them. That didn’t matter, however, since she didn’t want a table.

Instead, she crossed the grass to find a spot nearer the creek under a large shade tree, where thankfully, there weren’t too many people. In a matter of moments, she had her blanket spread out.

Rori settled onto the blanket, facing the creek, and opened her backpack. Pulling the book out, she set it on her lap, then removed the sandwich and bottle of water.

But instead of eating or reading, she stared out at the creek and the trees surrounding it. For the first time since leaving the church, she acknowledged the pain she’d felt that morning.

It was a familiar pain, one that she’d learned to live with. What had happened that morning—what she’d allowed to happen—was more like having a long-time bruise punched. The pain was deep right then, but it would dull after a time. It always did.

She had to be more careful about exposing her heart, and she definitely needed to lower her expectations of the interactions she had with the new people in her life. They were offering her friendship, and that was fine. That was more than she’d had before.

Unwrapping her sandwich, she stared down at it, remembering the meals she’d shared with Lee and his family. They always thanked God for the food before they ate.

Would God hear her thanks? Would He even care that she was thanking Him?

It couldn’t hurt, though, right?

Closing her eyes, Rori silently sent up a prayer. Heavenly Father… Thank you for the food you’ve provided for me. In Jesus’ na— She paused and swallowed hard. Could You also please help me to not feel this pain? Help me not to want people to care about me more than they’re able. Thank you. Amen.

She didn’t feel any different, so maybe God hadn’t heard her prayer. Her heart sank at the thought. And when she lifted the sandwich and took a bite, she didn’t taste the peanut butter and raspberry jam she’d spread on the bread earlier.

It felt worse, somehow, to think that even God didn’t care. Her life had always been insignificant to everyone but the grandmother she’d spent the first ten years of her life with.

Did she have a purpose on this earth?

The pastor had said that everyone had a purpose. That God had created everyone for a purpose. Their primary purpose was to glorify Him, but there were other purposes, too.

Perhaps she didn’t have a secondary purpose in her life because she hadn’t fulfilled her primary purpose.

But how was she supposed to do that? She didn’t know how that worked.

Maybe she needed to talk to Essie. The woman took her faith seriously, so she probably had the answers Rori needed.

Rori knew that Essie had a busy life, but hopefully the woman would have a few minutes to spend with her talking about it all.

There was nothing more she could do about that right then, so she turned her attention to the book in her lap, opened it to the first page, and took another bite of her sandwich. Unfortunately, the words on the page weren’t enough to fully distract her. Finally, she put the book aside and dug out her camera.

After deciding on the lens she wanted, Rori got up and approached the creek. Water burbled over the rocks as it flowed past.

She crouched down on the bank and lifted the camera to her eye, aiming it at the water. Thankfully, the camera did what the book hadn’t been able to. It shifted her focus to the nature she found so beautiful.

It calmed her a bit, and the hurt dulled ever so slightly. She was finally able to breathe without feeling like there was a vise around her chest.

“Rori?”

She froze, wondering for a moment if she was imagining Lee’s voice. A glance over her shoulder told her that she wasn’t.

Rori took her time getting up and turning to face him so that she could prepare herself for this conversation.

“Hey,” Lee said with a warm smile. He stood with his hands in the pockets of his khaki cargo pants, his broad chest filling out his dark green tank top.

“Hey.”

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