Page 31 of Lee

She thought a cat was more practical for her living situation in all ways but one. There was no getting an animal with claws until she’d swapped out her air mattress for a real one. There was no appeal to the idea of waking up on the floor with a deflated mattress underneath her.

Now that the idea of getting a pet was in her mind, Rori had some incentive to buy a new mattress first. She’d have to order something online because she needed to have it delivered. There was no way she could get a bed to her apartment with her small car. That would actually be the case for any furniture she bought.

Maybe it was time to start watching for deals at places that delivered furniture. Maybe.

Everything she purchased would be something that would tie her to Serenity. Not that she couldn’t just sell the stuff and leave, if need be. But in her mind, the idea of getting a bed and mattress felt like she would be creating a root.

And once she had that root, there would be another one. And another one.

The one thing that Rori knew wouldn’t provide a root for her was her mom. She never had, and Rori doubted that would change anytime soon.

Did she want to have roots in the same place as the one person who should have given her roots but hadn’t?

Rori still didn’t know the next morning as she prepared for church, but she also didn’t dwell on the situation too much. She’d long ago abandoned hope that one of her parents would step up and give her a family that would offer encouragement and support.

She’d realized the night before that physical roots such as a job, furniture, or an apartment didn’t scare her half as much as relational roots. Like the one she was building with Essie.

But that fear didn’t keep her from heading out to her car to go to church.

As promised, Essie was waiting for her just inside the door of the foyer and greeted her with a warm smile. After they exchanged greetings, Essie guided her to the sanctuary and to the row where Al stood talking to a couple around his and Essie’s age.

As they took their seats, Rori snuck a look around the sanctuary to see if Lee was there. She spotted him in the same area as he’d sat the previous week. Though she would have liked to watch him, she shifted her attention to the people on the stage.

Remembering how the music had touched her heart the previous week, Rori paid attention to the words of each song, joining in when she picked up on the melody.

She’d only ever been to Christmas and Easter services, so she had no idea what a sermon might be like. She was braced for something that felt like a lecture, since she wasn’t a Christian.

Instead, the pastor talked about how Christians should live when they give God control of their lives.

“When we become part of God’s family, we should reflect His traits in our lives. What we were before we became His is no more. The way we live must glorify God. In our words. With our actions. In the ways we interact with the people in our lives.

“For some, that change might be more drastic than for others, but no one becomes a child of God without a changed life. Because in that moment, our purpose for living changes. We go from living for self to living for God. That means priorities shift, and we must be open to the reality that God’s plan for our lives might be different from what we previously saw unfolding.”

Rori hadn’t really had much of a plan for her life. All that had really mattered was that she had enough money to pay her bills and put something into her savings account.

What more could she plan for?

A relationship?

Though she’d been on some dates, Rori struggled to believe that a man would actually give her a place of importance in his life. If she’d gotten into a serious relationship, she’d have had to keep her guard up, preparing herself for when she’d lose that importance.

In the end, she wasn’t willing to be that vulnerable to another person. Which meant she wasn’t aspiring to have a marriage or kids.

A career?

She didn’t have the money for college. Nor was she supremely talented in such a way that would guide her in a specific career direction. She was very, very average.

Aside from attending church, how would her life change if she became a Christian?

Could God really have a plan for her?

“He loves you and wants you in His family,” the pastor said. “To be His child.”

Rori wrapped her arms around herself. Would God really want her to be His child? Would He really care enough about her to offer her the family she’d never had?

She didn’t like to think too deeply about stuff like that, so she forced her attention back onto the pastor.

“He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins. God wouldn’t have done that if He didn’t love us and want us to be His. But once we’re part of His family, we need to reflect to the world that we are His child. We must live our lives for God, fleeting though they may be.”

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