Page 141 of Lee

“What?” Lee stared at her, uncertain what more he could say to get her to understand.

Rori stared at him, her blue gaze intent. “You’re a Christian, right?”

Lee jerked back at her question. “Yes. Of course.”

“I haven’t been a Christian very long, but I remember the first sermon I heard at the church here. It was about how we should reflect God once we become His child.”

Lee didn’t recall that specific sermon, but over the years, he’d certainly heard plenty of sermons with a similar theme.

“Essie also gave me some verses recently, and as I watched you struggle with this, one of them came to mind.” She pulled the notebook closer to her and flipped it open to a bookmark. “I’m trying to memorize it, but I haven’t managed to yet. Plus, I want to make sure that I get it right.”

Lee watched as she bent over the notebook and read, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Second Corinthians five, verse seventeen.”

She looked up at him, her expression intense. “So you’re not the same person you were when you were born. Accepting Jesus into your heart made you new, and if your goal is to honor and glorify God, you don’t have to worry about becoming like your birth father.”

Rori made it sound so simple, but there was a battle going on within Lee. A battle of faith versus fear. He knew that faith should win out, but the fear was so very strong.

He’d never felt fear like that before. Fear for Rori, but also, he feared himself. In the space of a week, he’d become a stranger in his own skin.

Since he’d made the discovery, he’d ceased to be Lee Halverson, son of Cathy and Dan. He’d become the son of murderers. That information might be known to only a few people, but it didn’t matter. He knew.

He knew, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Am I wrong about that?” Rori asked, resting her hand on the notebook. “Like I said, I haven’t been a Christian very long.”

Lee hadn’t even thought to ask Rori about her spiritual life. He’d just assumed that she had one because she attended church.

If he was honest, the spiritual life of girls he’d dated in the past had ranked pretty low on the list of things he wanted in a girlfriend. Now he was face to face with someone who had been a Christian for way less time than him, and she was showing more faith and belief in God than he was in this situation.

He reached out to grip his glass of water, feeling the coolness seep into his fingers. “You’re not wrong, but it’s hard.”

“Essie said that God will help us. That in our weakness, He is strong.”

I am weak, but He is strong.

The words from Jesus Loves Me drifted through his mind. The song was a childhood favorite. One he’d been able to learn and enjoy because those who’d cared for him as a child had made the decision to place him in the Halversons’ home.

“It’s not that easy.” Or at least it wasn’t for him.

He felt very alone. Lee doubted there was anyone else in his situation. While people shared a lot of experiences in life—like the loss of a parent—he felt very alone in this experience.

“I know it won’t be easy,” Rori said. “But it’s not impossible, is it? Do you want what you’ve learned about yourself to rob you of the future you want?”

He didn’t want that, but he also didn’t want to hurt anyone he loved.

“I don’t know what to do, Rori.” Lee ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know how to handle this information. I want a rewind button so badly.”

“There’s no rewind in life,” Rori said softly. “Your only choice is to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. You don’t have to take great strides. Small steps still move you forward. And you don’t have to do it alone. I want to be by your side.”

“Wouldn’t you rather step back and wait to see if I am successful at dealing with it?”

Rori shook her head. “I don’t want to be a distant witness to how God works in your life. I love you, Lee. That means something to me.”

Lee swallowed hard. It meant something to him, too. But it was his love for Rori that made him want to protect her.

“I need some time,” he said. “I just…”

Rori reached across the table and touched his hand. “I can give you time. Just don’t push me completely away. We don’t need to spend as much time together. We don’t have to go on dates. Just don’t try to kill our relationship.”

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