He walked to where his car was parked and slid behind the wheel. His stomach churned as he started the engine, forcing him to sit for a moment to make sure he wasn’t going to be sick.
He’d never been as sick to his stomach as he’d been over the past week. It was like it was his body’s new defense to anything upsetting. He hoped that wasn’t going to continue because he needed to get back to some sense of normalcy, even with the horrific knowledge he now held in his mind.
The drive went by too fast, and yet not fast enough.
He wanted to see Rori again, but he knew that seeing her meant the end of their relationship. The end of something he’d felt fit so perfectly into his life. What wouldn’t end—at least not right away—was the love he had for Rori.
It was the worst thing in the world to feel so hopeless. To know that no matter how he might feel about her, the relationship he wanted with her wasn’t good for Rori.
As he pulled to a stop in front of Rori’s apartment block, Lee shut off the engine, but stayed behind the wheel, watching as the people in the neighborhood went about their lives on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Adults lingered on porch steps, while children played on the sidewalk or in the compact yards that fronted the small homes on the street. A lot of lower-income families lived in this part of Serenity. Most of the properties were well-kept. However, a few had overgrown yards, with weeds in place of flowers, and paint chipping on the trim of the house.
Rori’s boxy building was slate gray and rather dreary looking, but the yard was well-maintained, and there were hedges filling the spaces between the basement windows. Rori’s windows were visible from where he parked, but he couldn’t see inside the apartment.
He still worried about her being safe. Unfortunately, what had started out as concern for her safety in the neighborhood had grown to encompass concern for her safety from him.
Even though it would be hard to see her regularly, Lee was glad they would continue working together, and he’d see her at church on Sundays. And hopefully, he could still make sure that she was safe.
Until someone else came along to take on that responsibility so she wouldn’t need Lee anymore.
He rubbed his hand against his chest and the pang of hurt in his heart at that thought.
Lee berated himself yet again for not having waited for the information on his past before getting involved with Rori. Though he would have liked to spare himself the hurt, he wished he’d waited for Rori’s sake. He hated that he’d hurt her—and he didn’t doubt he had.
They loved each other, so there was no way out of this mess without experiencing the pain of a broken heart.
With a sigh, Lee pushed open the car door and stepped out into the balmy summer day. The scent of freshly mowed grass hung in the air, and the sounds of children and dogs barking filled the neighborhood.
He shut the door, locked it, then made his way to the entrance to the building. His feet felt like they weighed a thousand pounds, slowing his steps.
Eventually, though, he stood in front of Rori’s door.
He hadn’t even lifted his hand to knock when it swung open, and Rori stood in front of him. His heart stuttered in his chest at the gentle smile she gave him.
“C’mon in,” she said, stepping back as she held onto the door.
Lee wished she wouldn’t smile at him like that because it was a stabbing reminder of what he was losing.
He waited for Rori to close the door, then he followed her to the small table they’d sat at the previous day. Part of him just wanted to rush through this rough part. But since this would probably be the last time they were by themselves, he reined in his impatience. Or at least he tried to.
As he settled into the same seat he’d occupied the day before, Lee noticed there was a notebook on the table, along with two glasses of water and a plate of cookies. Just like there had been the previous day.
While he waited for her to say something, he drank her in.
Her blonde hair lay draped across her shoulders in curls, which wasn’t normal for her since she usually wore it up in a ponytail. She wore a lilac dress with a square neckline and ruffled sleeves, and he recognized the jewelry she wore as the pieces she’d received for her birthday.
“Did you…” Lee cleared his throat, unable to keep from asking. His need to know overwhelmed him. “Did you have a chance to go over the stuff I left here yesterday?”
“Yes, I did.” She gave him a sad smile. “And I watched the program.”
Lee’s heart sank. He had hoped the contents of the envelope would have been enough. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”
“I understand why you didn’t want me to watch it. But I felt like I needed to see it for myself.”
Lee hated the pain he saw on her face. “The envelope didn’t convince you?”
“No. And neither did the program.”