Page 14 of The Kill

“There, look.”

The temptation to see who’s arrived is strong. I open my eyes, seeing nothing but black.

“This is a bad idea. Just leave him be and let’s get out of here.”

Blinking, I try to clear my vision. I’m too far gone. There’s just nothingness.

“He’s almost dead anyway. Come on. Let’s see if it works. It’ll be like a pet.”

My low growl turns into a gasping, retching cough. I wish they’d just fuck off and leave me to die in peace. I’m about to tell them that when a cold hand touches my cheek and I feel a weight on my chest. I want to push them off but I just can’t move, even when something pierces my neck and stinging pain sets my blood on fire.

“Oh fuck, stop, stop… what are you doing?!”

Sitting upright in the bed with a start, I’m sweating profusely and the sheets tangled around my legs are damp.

Fuck.

I listen to Mandy’s breathing across the hall, calm and even, relaxed; it pulls me back to reality.

There’s nobody here.

I’m not dying, drowning in my own blood, being leeched of my humanity, an experiment conducted at the whim of a bored vampire. Wiping a hand over my sweat-covered brow, I flop back, dropping my head onto the pillow.

In and out I breathe, trying to steady my racing heart and clear the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

Hopefully, I didn’t disturb Mandy. I don’t want her to hear the tossing and turning, the occasional talking in my sleep that accompanies my frequent trips down memory lane. Being turned feels like something I should have come to terms with by now, but I’ve never been able to shake that feeling of vulnerability when I fall asleep; it seems to beckon the nightmares forth.

Mandy’s scent and her presence here ground me, not enough to keep the night terrors at bay, but maybe nothing will.

With my pounding heart and spinning thoughts, I give up on trying to get to sleep and instead shower, washing off the scent of fear that accompanies my far-too-vivid nightmares. Opening the hall door, I creep out, lingering outside Mandy’s room for longer than I should. It feels intrusive to listen to her sleep, especially when I know she doesn’t want me to be near her.

But her scent is too strong for me to resist and I pause, allowing myself to bask in it.

Frowning, it’s too strong. I stare at the dark wood trying to make sense of it until it occurs to me why.

Mandy isn’t lying in her bed, enjoying the new pillows, comforter, and bed linens I got especially for her arrival. She’s laying on the hard floor just beyond the door. Correction, just beyond the barricade she has shoved against the door.

My already cranky mood worsens, and I fight the urge to break her pathetic barricade down just to prove that if I wanted to attack her in the middle of the night, nothing she can do would stop me. I choose not to, because I’m not what she thinks I am. Scrubbing a hand over my face, I force myself to leave, sneaking downstairs before I do something stupid and put the final nail in the coffin of this mating by letting my temper take over.

“She sleeps soundly all night, even on a hard floor, while you’re a raging insomniac worried you might savage her in the midst of a flashback? You’re a match made in heaven.” Lucian is lurking in the hall when I descend the stairs, hands clasped behind his back as he rocks back and forth on his heels.

“Good morning, Lucian.”

I make a beeline straight for the front door, needing to burn off my frustration with some strenuous exercise. He remains where he is, staring up toward the landing above, toward where my mate lies sleeping, still peaceful and oblivious. “Stay away from her. She’s… nervous.”

His expression tells me he’s not buying that. If she was that nervous, she wouldn’t be sound asleep.

“Okay, maybe she’s just nervous about me, but still, give her some space.”

Lucian looks confused.

“I thought you were mates?”

His curiosity about the subject knows no bounds, but right now is not the time. I’m still smarting about the barricade. Clenching my fists into tight balls, I breathe through my anger.

It’s not his fault. He doesn’t understand how unstable this situation can make a wolf, being so near and yet so far from the one he wants.

“We are, but it’s not that simple. Her first mate was a real peach. It’s understandable that she’s being cautious.”

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