Page 80 of The Dominator

What if I hadn’t been taken that day; what would he have done once he got me back in the house? What sort of punishment would I have faced for taking off from his sister? Did my kidnapping change him? Was he capable of change? Was he capable of being loving and giving and sweet all the time or was I only getting a temporary reprieve from the angry, punishing control freak who wanted to play scary sex games and mind fuck games?

Just how dark and evil was he? How many people had he killed? What kind of illegal stuff did his family participate in? Was he involved in profiting from the sex slave rings he’d threatened me with?

This morning when we were shot at and when he turtled over me… it did something to me. It did something I couldn’t quite name. Like the night he rescued me in Mexico, he’d sliced me open and then when he climbed onto me this morning to protect me, that open wound still there, he climbed right inside of it, of me. But because of the way he’d seesaw between dark and light I felt like I was always on eggshells.

The light was nice; it almost verged on puppies and rainbows in my heart sometimes. The dark was scary. But, then the dark could also be exciting. I’d even invited it, with volunteering to play sex games, with provoking him. What was my problem? Was I just a stupid little girl playing games out of my depth? Yes, way out of my depth. Way.

He sang into my ear the very last line of the song.

“For you are mine, at last.” He looked into my eyes in the silent loft. The only light was the little glimmer of candlelight from the table and the stars outside the opened doors, or no… wait, those were fireflies twinkling out there. Fireflies. Oh, man! How could I keep my guard up at this rate?

It was a magical moment, dancing in candlelight and firefly light, wearing only his shirt, him half naked and gorgeous, up where there was no one but us, in his special place that he’d only ever shared with me. And he was full of light right now, not darkness. For someone who didn’t do relationships, he sure knew how to set a romantic scene. The music stopped and we were still dancing, dancing to the sound of nature outside.

If it could often be just like this, would it be enough for me? Would I be able to live under his regime, under his rules, in a world of crime and danger? Did I have a choice in the matter? How dangerous was his life? What sorts of illegal things did he do? I still didn’t even really know.

So many questions.

He was still looking into my eyes; I was looking into his. It was like we were both stripped bare. He lifted my hand and kissed my knuckle just above where the engagement ring sat. Then he looked at the ring for a beat and dropped to one knee, making my heart skip a beat.

“Tia, I want you. I want you to be mine forever. Not because you clear a debt, not because I have to get married to take over for my father. I want to marry you because…” He stopped and looked away for a second. Then he looked up at me again and took a slow breath and said, “I’m about to say something to you that I’ve never said to another woman, so know that when you hear this.”

I gave him a little, almost imperceptible nod, suspecting I knew what was about to come out of his mouth but not sure that it was at all possible he was about to say what I suspected was about to come out of his mouth. But then he said it.

“I’m in love with you.”

I think my mouth dropped open.

His eyes took on fierceness. “Right here, right now, decide to give me a chance. Forget, for a second, everything on the bad side of the scales you’ve been weighing out and think only about the possibilities. Will you wear this ring voluntarily? Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” I said without even pausing first.

This beautiful, powerful, rich man who could have almost any girl in the world wanted me.

Me. The foster kid with the fucked-up life, the lowlife father, no money, nothing all that special about me. He wanted me. How could I say no? I didn’t even factor in the consequences of saying no because right then, I wanted him, too.

I wanted this beautiful moment to be real. I wanted my life to be a life, not a life sentence. I wanted this man who would not hesitate to be a human shield to keep me safe from gunfire. I wanted this big, strong, beautiful man who would fight scary dudes with big guns because they tried to hurt me. I wanted to feel the safety of his arms, the insane pleasure his body was capable of giving me. I wanted to dance in the moonlight with fireflies; I wanted him to be mine.

I fell down into his arms and wrapped my limbs around him. He pulled me close to him, so close it felt like he was trying to absorb me.

His hands went under the shirt and gripped my bare back as he buried his head into my chest and just held me and let me hold him for what felt like a really long time. I rested my cheek on the top of his head and melted into him. After a while just staying like that, he lifted me up as he stood, like I weighed nothing, and I was about to wrap my legs tighter around his waist but he hoisted me over his shoulder, making me squeal in surprise. He tossed me onto the bed and then playfully pounced on me.

Then, he made love to me, tenderly, sweetly, his eyes liquid with unshed tears. When Tommy brought me to climax, I held onto him for dear life, wanting to freeze the beauty of that moment in time. I cried afterwards, a different kind of crying. A big cathartic release and he held me tight, caressing me. We were both shaking. It felt so real and so, so right.

Flickering light danced through the dim loft amid the sounds of crickets and frogs. And wow, the way he looked at me? He looked at me and touched me like I was the most precious thing to him. It was beautiful. I fell asleep wrapped around him, ready for possibilities, because feeling like this felt like a priceless gift.

* * *

I woke up alone. I sat up and looked around.

Birds chirped and there were other noises coming in via the still-opened doors. The sky seemed alive with noisy birds, butterflies, and the sun was beating through the screen with intensity. The bathroom door was closed. I knocked and there was no answer so I opened it, finding it empty, but with a steamed up mirror, meaning he’d very recently showered. I got out of his shirt and got into the shower, washing and shampooing with his all-in-one hair and body wash. I used his damp towel as it was all there was, then I put yesterday’s clothes back on, minus the underwear, which had a large rip straight up the back of them, rendering them an ass-less piece of scrap material.

I dashed down to get my pajama bag out of the Jeep from yesterday, figuring I could hand-wash my sleeping shorts and let them dry so I could use them as undies for now, but when I got down the stairs and out into the middle of the barn, no Jeep. The door was closed, but I wasn’t locked in. I frowned, but then remembered that the iPhone was in my jean skirt pocket.

I lifted it out and saw it was 9:25 am. I swiped over to contacts and there were just Tommy and his brother listed there. I dialed Tommy and it rang once but then went to voicemail, so I went back upstairs and sat down on the sofa, which was facing the doors, and watched out the back. The phone only had 19% power remaining and I didn’t have a charger, so it wouldn’t last for long.

I needed caffeine. And underwear! There was a fridge here and a sink and microwave but no stove, no coffee maker. No coffee supplies. I looked in the armoire and fridge. The fridge had the remnants of last night’s dinner, our untouched fruit salad, and some bottles of beer, bottles of water, a sports drink, and a vitamin water. The cupboard had some odds and ends, mostly. Some tools, a flashlight, lantern, lamp oil, bug repellant, guitar strings and picks, and a box of bullets. No coffee or tea or sugar). There were a few t-shirts of Tommy’s and a pair of jeans. There was also a half-eaten, but not closed properly box of Sugar Crisp. The clothes were all folded and clean-looking but no underwear. I’d have even settled for a pair of his right now.

I opened the vitamin water and then made the bed and then lay down, deciding to wait for him. What else could I do?

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