Page 109 of The Dominator

Then she pulled the whip back and lashed out, whipping him. I jolted at the sound of the first crack of the whip. And my insides tingled with awareness at the visual. His face was suffused pain. At the sound of the second whip crack, I started to tremble.

But as the soulful-sounding song played on and lamented about love and dreams and feelings and wickedness, his face read like he was lost in it, and enjoying it. Her eyes continued to focus on his face and behind the hardness and Domme persona the love on her face was unmistakable.

My heart was crumbling, watching the scene and listening to those lyrics. It was like tears were sitting right in the middle of my throat. My hand came up to cover my mouth, but then I felt Tommy’s fingers gently around my wrist. He pulled my hand down away from my face and onto his lap and gently rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand. I knew without looking at him that his eyes were not on the stage; they were on me.

As the song hit a series of high notes at the end, the man was untied and they wrapped their arms around one another and lay in the bed and held each other and the screen zoomed in to both of their faces on the bed, both totally at peace, totally in love.

They both got what they needed from that scene.

Then she straddled him and fucked him slow and sweet and as they both cried out their orgasm together, eyes locked with one another, the curtains closed and the applause roared.

The show continued with other acts, but for me that was it, show over; game over. I stared ahead for the next three acts, but I saw nothing. I was just in my own head.

When people clapped, lights came on, and there was no more music I was numb getting to my feet. My legs felt like they were boneless. I couldn’t even look at Tommy. His hand held mine that entire time, squeezing, thumb skating back and forth. I knew his eyes were on me that whole time and strangely, they felt like a blanket covering me, cloaking me.

We said our goodbyes and got into a taxi outside the club as the rest of them were off to have drinks back at Ben and Olive’s. Tommy declined the invite, and Olive got very pouty. Thank God he declined. I’m sure they had some party in mind!

Tommy stood outside the cab while I was in it talking to the other men for a minute and then shook their hands and got in with me. He took my hand in his and kissed it and we rode in total quiet back to the hotel.

After I washed my makeup off, brushed my teeth, and stepped back into the bedroom he immediately asked, “What do you need tonight, baby?”

He’d taken his bowtie, jacket, and shirt off. The shirt was on the bed. I kicked my shoes off and then took my earrings out. My eyes were fixed on the silver chain around his throat. His eyes were fixed on me.

The way he said it made sense. What do you need? Because he got what he needed last night. At least he was trying to reciprocate. I guess.

I thought about it for a minute while he undid his pants, took them off, setting them on the chair beside the bed with his tux jacket. He straightened the waistband of his black boxer briefs.

“I’d like to be alone,” I said softly and met his eyes.

I could see by the shift, the shock on his face, that it probably felt like a slap in the face to him.

He looked down at the floor for a moment, then skimmed his bottom lip with his teeth, and I was sure for a second, he was going to turn on his heel and give me what I wanted, but instead he shook his head.

“No. Not that. I won’t ever sleep somewhere away from you if I can be beside you. I don’t care if I’m mad at you, if you’re mad at me, we sleep beside one another. What can I do to make this better? I know I fucked up last night, I fucked up huge. Tell me how to fix it. Please, baby.”

He took a step toward me. I took a step back. He stopped.

I closed my eyes and sighed and then let the dress fall to the floor before I sat on the bed and pulled his white dress shirt over my head, undid my bra under the shirt and pulled it out one of the armholes, tossing it on the chair with the rest of his clothes. I got under the blankets.

He’d stood there quietly, watching me while I did all that. He got in beside me and pulled me close.

“Baby?” he called.

“What if you can’t fix it?” My voice was barely a whisper.

“Please don’t say that. Don’t fucking say that.” His voice was strangled-sounding. “I wanna make love to you. I need to make you feel good. Tell me what I can do to make you whimper for me and put your arms around me because you want to, not because I’ve told you to. Let me show you how much I love you.”

Goosebumps rose on my skin and my throat was so dry. But, I didn’t want to feel good. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t know if there was anything he could do to fix things. How could there be? I wanted to sleep and forget everything I’d seen tonight. Forget everything that had happened last night. Sleep it away, all of it.

His palm swept up from my shoulder to my face until his fingers weaved into my hair near my ear.

“Tia, baby?”

I reached up and fingered his dangling necklace without touching him. He kissed the tip of my nose.

We needed to talk things out and figure this out if we were going to have a future that wasn’t just me pretending to be okay. But I wasn’t ready to talk; I was still processing. I didn’t know if talking would do anything at all, anyway. He was in control. He made the rules. I was just a participant. Willing or not. I didn’t know if I could ever be okay with it. With any of it. But, he was waiting for an answer.

“Just…” My voice caught.

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