Page 40 of Vicious Redemption

I can’t voice the deep concern that suddenly rings like a bell inside my head.

I didn’t take her against her will, but I did manipulate her that night. I used her in a power play against her father. And I’ve come to hate myself for it. If I could, I would rewrite history to wipe away the cruelty I showed her.

But at the same time, I wouldn’t want to change a thing if that meant losing Tia. Because the blessings that have come from my shameful behavior are too profound.

It brought Tia and me together.

And we’re going to have a child because of it.

But what if, up until now, she’s pretended to be okay with what happened in order to survive? She’s admitted to doing that once before. How can I trust that she didn’t do it a second time?

Tia did hesitate when the mayor offered her his protection. It was the smallest fraction of a second, and I thought she was just caught off guard by the offer. But what if she was weighing the odds of him successfully ridding her of a man she considers her abuser?

“Tia?” I rasp around the iron fist, gripping my chest. “Talk to me. Please.”

Again, she shakes her head, refusing to look at me.

My heart throbs as I wonder if I’m ever going to get past this nagging doubt. This fear that she’ll only ever see me as a monster. That I am a monster. Because if she believes it of me, I’m in very real danger of it being true.

“Is this about what Mayor Romney said?” I press, unable to ask her point-blank but unwilling to let it go until I have an answer. “Do you want his protection? Because if you feel like I’ve forced you…” The words strangle me, and I choke as I struggle to make myself finish. “I won’t stop you if you want to leave.”

Tia’s head snaps up at that, her eyes finding mine, and my stomach drops as I brace for her to tell me that’s exactly what she wants.

“What? Leo, no,” she says vehemently. “We already talked about this. The past is the past, right? You forgave me, and I forgave you. I don’t need the mayor to protect me from you.”

The vise around my chest releases, draining me of the pain that was too close to unbearable. “Then what?” I insist. “Whatever’s bothering you can’t possibly be worse than that.”

“I can’t stop thinking about what that woman said, okay?” she snaps, her defenses flying up as an angry tear trickles down her cheek. She brushes it away impatiently as she turns to glare at her reflection in the windshield.

“What are you even talking about?” I ask, baffled. “What woman? Alicia Romney?”

“No! The one that was ready to bend over and have you fuck her right there on our dinner table!” she shouts.

Stunned speechless, I sit frozen for a moment, trying to think up an appropriate response. In truth, I got so worked up about the mayor and his veiled accusations, that I completely forgot about Elena.

In my mind, she was nothing more than a nagging insect that interrupted our nice night. I hadn’t imagined Tia could be bothered by her petty insults. I thought we left because Tia was embarrassed I made such a scene out of kicking Elena out.

“Tia, Elena means nothing to me. She’s in the distant past. You shouldn’t waste two seconds thinking about her,” I insist, reaching across the console to take her hand.

It’s soft and warm—just like Tia—and I squeeze it comfortingly.

“She just likes to stir the pot, but I assure you, seeing her again was as unpleasant for me as I imagine meeting her was for you.”

Tia nods, then looks down at our linked hands. Silence pervades for another moment, telling me she’s not done doubting herself.

“What did she mean about you tying her up?” she asks, blindsiding me once again.

Fuck, this night just won’t quit.

20

TIA

I can tell my question was not what Leo expected. His jaw drops, his lips parting as if he has no clue how to answer me. But I can’t stop thinking about what Elena said. It takes me right back to the first night I met him. Those girls standing inside the doorway at his house party, talking about how Leo fucks like a god.

I thought I knew what they meant. But now I can’t stop thinking that there might be a whole different side to Leo that I’ve never seen. And what does that say about me?

That Elena knows about it and I don’t, makes me wonder what I’m lacking. I pull my hand from Leo’s as ridiculous rejection lances through me. He’s said everything I should want to hear—that she’s in the past, that he doesn’t want her.

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