Page 91 of Safe With You

“I know. That is on me.” Mom grimaced. “I’ve made a lot of awful choices over my life. Choices I can see now have left me with nothing.” She sniffed and dabbed one of her eyes, a move Katie would have once suspected was an act. “I never should have let Grant hurt you. I should have left him the moment he put his hands on you. I was selfish and only concerned with my own happiness. I understand if you won’t believe me or forgive me. I don’t forgive myself. And I know it doesn’t fix anything I’ve done, but I am sorry.”

Katie blinked hard, but a tear dripped from her burning eyes anyway. After all these long and painful years, she’d never dreamed of receiving an apology from her mom. Part of her didn’t even know how to accept it. She swiped away the tear.

“I do forgive you, Mom. I don’t know if I can ever trust you, but I forgive you.”

Now it was Mom’s turn to brush away tears. “Thank you, and I understand. I could never hope to make up for all the pain I’ve caused you. But, if you will allow me, I would like to find ways to communicate and perhaps repair even a small part of the damage.”

Katie hesitated, her first inclination to push her as far away as possible. For so many years, all she’d wanted was to have her mom and Grant out of her life for good. It was hard to imagine anything pleasant between them, yet the little girl inside her still desperately craved her mom’s love. She crossed her arms tightly, wavering.

“What about Grant?” Contact with her mom meant Grant was still in her life, even if indirectly. She couldn’t do that anymore.

Bitterness crept into Mom’s voice. “He’s already talking about moving. He believes Christopher’s arrest will cast him in a poor light, and he wants to get as far away as possible. I don’t think I’ll be going with him.”

Katie didn’t even know how to process that. Mom had sacrificed her to keep Grant. That she was willing to walk away from him now lent credibility to her sincerity, at least at this moment. But would she go through with it? Or would she run back to him once the chaos Christopher had caused died down?

Katie took a deep breath, a little of the armor she’d built around her heart cracking. She wouldn’t let it crack completely. Not yet, but perhaps someday, if her mom proved truthful. “All right, we can try.”

A small, broken smile appeared on her mom’s face, her voice choked again. “Thank you.”

She wiped away lingering tears. “I won’t take up any more of your time.” She backed toward the car. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

Katie nodded and watched her climb back into the car and drive away. They had a long way to go before she would believe her mom was indeed changing, but today was the first small step. She breathed out a long breath and glanced skyward before closing her eyes. Too many emotions overwhelmed her thoughts to know exactly what to pray, but a whisper of hope mixed with them.

When she opened her eyes again, she focused on Ethan. Crossing the yard, she walked down to him by the lake. He studied her face as she approached.

“How did that go?”

“I think it was the first heart-to-heart conversation we’ve had in my entire life.”

“So it went well?”

“I think so.” Once the emotions wore off, her mom might go back to her old ways, but she wanted to believe the change was genuine and would continue. “She wants to try to repair our relationship.”

“How do you feel about that?”

Katie released a heavy sigh. “I’m not even sure. It’s a lot to take in. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust her, but…maybe there could be some dialog between us. It’s more than I could have dreamed possible. And I know how happy Grandma would be at even the slightest chance things could work out between us. It’s all just so much. I feel a sense of hope I’ve never had before, but I’m also afraid.”

Ethan reached out, his warm fingers wrapping around her arms and drawing her closer. “Don’t be afraid. You don’t have to figure it out by yourself. I’ll be right here no matter what you decide or how things work out between you.”

Katie gazed up at him, all the swirling emotions settling until only the spark of hope for the future remained. “Thank you for always making me feel safe.”

Instead of smiling as she expected, his expression fell. “I wish I could always keep you safe.” He glanced at the lake where Christopher had nearly drowned her and winced. “I couldn’t the other night.”

Katie leaned in closer. “Yes, you did. I wouldn’t still be here if not.”

Finally, a tender smile emerged, and his eyes studied her face. His fingers brushed over her cheek before sliding into her hair as he drew her into a kiss.

Epilogue

Instrumental Christmas music provided a cheery backdrop to the conversation around the dinner table as everyone finished the delicious holiday meal. The entire Hart family had gathered at the house, filling it with love and laughter, and Katie couldn’t be happier. She’d never experienced such a lovely Christmas before. All the kids had already dashed off to play with the gifts they had opened this morning while the adults lingered at the table to visit.

She sat back with a contented sigh. Ethan had draped his arm over the back of her chair as he and Joel animatedly told a story from one of their childhood Christmases, drawing laughter from everyone. It was the sort of evening Katie would have loved to last forever. But, if she looked back, the last few months had been full of times like this, and she was thankful for every one of them. She knew she would face hard times again. It was an inevitable part of life here on earth, but she cherished the peace she had found. Peace and love.

She watched the way Ethan interacted with his family and how his eyes sparkled when he smiled. So many times in her life, she’d despaired of ever truly finding happiness, but she could see now how God had used the hard years to bring her to this point—to bring her and Ethan together—and she thanked Him for it.

After a while, Ethan must have noticed her watching him. He turned to look at her, his eyes full of love. For that moment, it was just the two of them, the ongoing conversation around them fading. Then he leaned toward her and murmured, “Do you want to go for a walk with me?”

She nodded, and they excused themselves from the table. After bundling up in their warm winter clothes, Ethan opened the door, and they stepped outside. The crisp, frozen air met them, prickling on Katie’s cheeks, but it was refreshing after the large meal and warmth from the fireplace.

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