Page 75 of Safe With You

“I guess I did. I told him I wanted to stay here in Two Lakes.”

Under different circumstances, that news would have overjoyed Ethan, but this wasn’t about him. He could see how that would strain the relationship, especially since Drew hadn’t been the country type. It would be hard to maintain a deep relationship when each person wanted to be in a different location.

She shrugged tiredly. “Now that it’s said and done, we weren’t very compatible. We both wanted different things and had stuff we weren’t willing to give up.”

“It’s still hard ending a long-term relationship like that.” Things had been unsettled for a long time after breaking up with Anna. It would be even harder if Katie’s feelings were deeper than his had been. “Did you love him?”

She slowly shook her head. “No. Not how I should have, considering how long we’d been dating. Honestly, I could probably count on one hand the number of times we said it to each other. I should have seen a long time ago that it wouldn’t go anywhere. I just kept telling myself it was because he was busy and, someday, eventually, things would get better.”

She winced, her eyes turning watery. “It sounds so pathetic, but when we first started dating, I think I was so flattered that someone would even be interested in me that I did whatever I could to make it work.”

Ethan’s heart ached with the desire to help her understand how special she was and that she was worth loving, but he’d already complicated things enough. He had to let those feelings go and be the friend she needed.

She blinked hard and stared out across the lake. “The longer it went, the more I formed my life to fit his because I didn’t want to lose what I had. And I hate it because I feel like I used him. I was afraid of being alone, so I kept making excuses for all the things that didn’t quite work between us.”

“If he loved you, he could’ve made more effort to ensure you had a healthy relationship too. It’s not all on you.” Effort in a relationship went both ways.

“He was very sweet when he wasn’t distracted. We had disagreements, and even though I don’t think he understood me well enough to support me where I needed it, he always treated me well. But he’s very focused and motivated with his career, and I can’t blame him for that. He’s already put ten years of his life into this. It just isn’t the best environment for a relationship to grow.”

He admired her for not bashing the guy and being so mature. He’d experienced firsthand how some people trashed their exes after a breakup. Still, he knew his own opinion was more biased. “You deserve someone who can make you a priority no matter what.”

She just shrugged. “I’m sure he tried in his way.” Her expression shifted ever so subtly with her thoughts. Finally, her attention swung back to him, her eyes glistening again. “I’m not sure where I go from here. We spent the last three years together, and now it’s just over. It feels so meaningless.”

Ethan understood the feeling. He and Anna hadn’t been together for as long, but even though he knew things had to end, it left a strange absence in his life for a long time. “You enjoy your cottage, you make your clothes, and you take the time to focus on where God is leading you. As far as the relationship goes, even if you weren’t compatible in the end, did you still make each other better people?”

“I think so. I hope so.”

“Then the last three years were not a waste. God brings people into our lives for a reason, even if they don’t stay. We might never know the true reason, but He does.”

Finally, a tired but hopeful smile rose to her lips. He hated how close he’d come to not being here for her in this moment and wanted to make sure she knew that.

“Listen, I just want to say I’m sorry things were weird the last couple of days. It won’t happen again.”

“Yeah, me too. And thanks for listening to my relationship drama.” Her smile grew brighter. “You’re a good friend.”

Chapter Thirty-three

Katie stuck a toothpick through the last ham and pickle roll and laid it on the tray with the rest. They had always been Grandma’s favorite appetizer and were Katie’s contribution to today’s Fourth of July festivities. She glanced at the clock. Family and friends would arrive at the Harts’ before long. Ever since she was little, they’d thrown the best Independence Day parties.

If she and Drew were still together, she’d be in Madison. Curiosity had gotten the best of her last night, and she’d peeked at his social media, seeing him tagged in photos from his parents’ party on Saturday. Viewing them as an outsider and no longer as his girlfriend had shown her the stark difference between that life and her life here. Had they gotten married one day, she knew now she would have spent the rest of her life trying to be something she wasn’t. Though she still had moments of sadness and regret that things had ended the way they had, the clearer perspective helped.

Shoving that all aside, she focused on the positives. The Fourth of July was one of her favorite holidays as a kid, and she couldn’t wait to celebrate it like that again. And things were thankfully back to normal between her and Ethan. After the evening in the canoe, the awkwardness had lifted, and their usual routine had returned. He’d even spent most of the day Friday finishing up her shelves. Because of this, she was careful to keep her complicated feelings tucked deep down inside whenever he was around. Eventually, they had to go away, right?

She put plastic wrap over the tray and headed upstairs to change into her outfit for the day. She had a pair of faded cutoff shorts with red and blue patches that fit the occasion. On Thursday, she and Becca had gone shopping, and Katie picked up a fun patriotic tank top she found—one of the few brand-new items she owned. Beneath it all, she wore her swimsuit, knowing they had water activities planned for the afternoon.

After changing, she entered the bathroom with a pack of patriotic stars and rhinestone facial stickers. She and Becca may have gone a bit overboard in preparing for the party, but Katie was excited to let loose and enjoy the holiday like she had as a kid. She completed the look by pulling her hair up with a tie adorned with red, white, and blue ribbons.

Putting food out for O’Malley, she grabbed her phone and the platter of roll-ups and left the house. Already, the air settled hot and humid on her skin. She followed the path through the woods, enjoying everything about the summer day. As a kid, she’d wished summer would last forever. She still did most of the time, though now she had more reason to look forward to all the rest of the seasons.

At the house, she found Ethan in the backyard, setting up folding tables.

He grinned as soon as he spotted her. “Look at you embracing the patriotic spirit.”

Not that his bright American flag shorts were exactly subtle.

“I think Becca and I had too much fun at the store the other day. We bought a bunch of stickers so we can put them on the kids too when they get here.”

“They’ll love that, especially Charlie. I think she wants to be just like you when she grows up.”

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