Page 16 of Safe With You

“Yes, she was.” Katie sighed, taking in the room around her—the old photos on the walls, the lace-edged curtains she’d made, the colorful, mismatched throw pillows. “If only my mom would have just left me here with her. Grandma was always more of a mother to me than Mom was, even before Grant. If not for all the time she poured into teaching me, taking me to church, and making sure I understood the Gospel, I’d probably be as messed up as Christopher.” The thought terrified her. But Grandma hadn’t been the only positive influence in her life. She managed a weak smile and squeezed Ethan’s hand. “You were a big part of that too. You and your family. You gave me a sense of family and belonging I never would have had otherwise.”

Ethan stared at their joined hands before meeting her eyes again. “I’m glad we could provide that for you. All of my best childhood memories are from when we were together.”

Katie’s throat constricted painfully at how Mom and Grant’s actions had ripped it all away from them. “I didn’t think I would survive without all of you. I begged to come back.” That begging had earned her a broken wrist. “Those were the worst years of my life. I missed you so much. I wanted to email you, but they always monitored it. I tried to send you a letter once, but they caught me, and I never dared to try again. My mom said I needed to forget about you and move on.”

“I wrote you letters too for a long while. I gave them to your grandma to send, but I assume you never got them.”

A knife twisted in Katie’s chest. She would have done anything for those letters. “No. I got some letters and birthday cards from her, but they were always open when my mom gave them to me. I assumed it was because they would take the money out, but they must have taken your letters too.”

Sometimes, it was hard not to hate her mom. She would never understand how she could be so cruel. Grant she could accept, in a way. He had no ties to her. But Mom had given birth to her. She was supposed to take care of her, to love and protect her. But that had never been true in all the years Katie had been alive.

Ethan released a sigh, one as burdened as Katie felt. “Those were hard years. It doesn’t come close to what you had to endure, but things were rough here after you left. High school was hard. I acted out and carried a lot of anger about what happened. I let it set me on a path I followed for far too long. I was mad at Grant for what he did and God for letting it happen. I regret now that I took it out on those around me. Joel and I went at it a lot.”

He shook his head, staring off with a sad remembrance on his face. “Looking back, I’m surprised he still asked me to be his best man. I didn’t deserve it. Even after I graduated, I was still a mess. I finally came to my senses when Marshall was born. He wasn’t my kid, but I knew I would be one of the adults he looked to as an example as he grew up, and I was a pretty poor example. I came home from the hospital that day, fell on my knees, and finally started getting things right.”

Heaviness pressed on Katie’s chest. In all those dark years, it hadn’t occurred to her how much leaving would have affected Ethan. Regret stung her again.

“I’m sorry I never reached out or came to visit once I was on my own. It’s not that I didn’t remember you or didn’t want to see you again.” She paused, truly examining what had kept her away because it hadn’t been only geographical. “I think I was afraid. Of a lot of things. Obviously, I was afraid to be anywhere near Grant again. California is a long way from Wisconsin. But I was also afraid things would be different if I came back. That you had forgotten about me and I would lose you all over again. I knew I couldn’t handle it. That probably sounds crazy, and I’m so sorry. I never considered how hard it was for you when I left.”

“No, don’t be sorry. It makes sense. I can’t imagine the pain you’ve had to go through. You never have to try to explain what you’ve had to do to cope and survive.” Then, despite everything, he smiled. “And just so you know, I’d never be able to forget you.”

All those fears she’d had seemed to melt away, bringing a smile to her face as well.

They then got up and left the cottage, though it was hard to leave it behind. The rain had ceased for the time being, so they walked down to the edge of the lake, and Katie breathed in the fresh air as she took in the scenery. Two big weeping willow trees grew along the shore, where they had played many times. A narrow dock stretched out beside them, warped and tilting after all these years. Nothing like the Harts’ big T-shaped dock that could accommodate multiple chairs for lounging. It would eventually have to be replaced depending on what happened with the cottage.

Katie wrapped her arms around her stomach as a knot coiled there. “I’m worried about Grandma’s things. It’s all pieces of her, and I can’t bear to think of anything happening to it. If it’s left to my mom, she’ll toss most of it.”

Ethan turned to face her. “You don’t think your grandma would leave it all to her, do you? I mean, she knew what your mom is like. I can’t imagine she’d entrust all her possessions to her.”

Katie shook her head, now rubbing the goosebumps that rippled up her arms at the chill that didn’t come entirely due to the weather. “No, I don’t, but…that scares me too. I don’t know how my mom will react when she finds out what’s in the will.”

“Well, whatever it says, we’ll all be here to help.”

Katie pulled in a long breath, and a little of the chill faded. She’d heard many nice and well-meaning words over the years. Most were little more than sentiment when it came right down to it. But somehow, it was different with Ethan. He meant it. Maybe because, even after all these years, she felt like she knew him better than anyone other than Grandma. Whatever happened on Monday, he would be at her side just like he had been at the funeral.

They spent another few minutes standing at the edge of the lake before it started to rain again. Ethan opened the umbrella, and they walked back to his parents’ house under the broad canopy, whose sunshine color contrasted sharply with the dreariness of the day.

Inside, they found Ethan’s parents in the living room, working on a puzzle in the corner. Tom had built a fire to ward off the dampness in the air, and Katie tucked herself into one corner of the couch to enjoy it. Ethan sank down into the opposite corner.

Evelyn shifted in her chair to look over at Katie. “I wanted to mention that we typically have the whole family over for dinner on Sundays after church, but if you don’t feel up to the inevitable chaos, we can skip this week.”

“No, please, don’t cancel on my account. I’d like to meet Joel’s kids before I leave.” Honestly, the Harts’ “chaos” was everything Katie longed for growing up—a big family who loved each other and enjoyed spending time together. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed being part of it until now.

“Well, all right then, I’ll make sure I have everything prepared. And, if you’d like, you can come to church with us in the morning.”

“I’m afraid I didn’t pack anything suitable for church.” She should have, but with as horrible as she’d known the funeral would be, attending church in Two Lakes had not crossed her mind. Even if it had, she wouldn’t have considered going alone anyway.

“I’m sure Becca has something that would fit you if you want to go. No pressure. I just want you to know you’re welcome to join us if you’d like. If not, I’m sure she would happily stay home with you.”

“Thank you. I’ll think about it. Maybe I will go.”

Chapter Nine

While it had been nice to have Megan, Taylor, and Harper here last night, Ethan was glad today had been more laid back for Katie’s sake. She seemed more relaxed than she had since he’d first seen her standing in the church parking lot yesterday morning. Her smile surfaced more quickly tonight as they gathered in the living room with mugs of coffee after a leisurely supper. Sandwiched between Mom and Becca on the couch, she flipped through one of the old family photo albums open in her lap. Ethan contentedly observed from a chair near the fireplace opposite Dad as they talked and laughed over memories.

The hour grew late despite how he would have liked it to last. Dad headed to bed first, being the early-to-bed, early-to-rise man he always was. Not long after that, Ethan caught Katie stifling a yawn. After the fifth or sixth one, she closed the current album.

“This has been really fun, but I don’t think I can stay awake much longer.”

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