Page 76 of Little Do You Know

Chris bursts into laughter. “Owen’s going to fucking kill you. What about that chick you hooked up with that night we went to the bar?”

That was a rough night. “Oh, Lucy was my attempt to get Thalia out of my head. It didn’t work very well. Thalia stole my car while I was with Lucy. Lucy had to Uber back to her place because my car disappeared. Then, when Thalia got back, she asked me to have sex with her after returning my keys.”

“Dude, no wonder you’re always out here. I would be, too, if I were in your shoes. That’s a lot for anyone, Bash, even you.”

“I’m fine.” I’m so not, but eventually, it won’t be a lie.

He looks at me sympathetically, which is something I’d prefer never to have directed at me again. “In the four years I’ve known you, I’m surprised to see you give up so easily. I don’t think you’d risk your friendship with Owen if this were just a fling. It’s up to you, but you should keep trying until Thalia talks to you. She wouldn’t look so miserable if she didn’t care about you. Try not to say anything dumb either.”

~

My mind was elsewhere during the test I just took, because Chris was right. I have given up, but I don’t want to. Hence, the bouquet in my hand as I climb the stairs to the apartment. I feel a little like I’m walking to my funeral, but maybe that’s a good sign. If I didn’t feel sick, there’s probably nothing worth fighting for.

Thalia’s sitting at the counter, typing on her laptop. I’m sure it concerns her photography because her camera is next to her. There’s a smile on her face until Thalia notices that it’s me standing there. The smile instantly drops, and she turns back to the computer without a word.

I don’t care how many times I have to apologize; I’ll do it as long as necessary if there’s a chance one of the times she’ll forgive me. I clear my throat, resisting the urge to vomit. “Hey,” I say weakly, unsurprised when Thalia ignores me. “How was your day?” I continue, laying the flowers next to her.

“Great until you showed up,” she snipes.

I resist the urge to smile, because at least Thalia has acknowledged my presence—which is a win in my books—even if she thinks she’s insulting me. “Well, I just finished a test and didn’t do as well as I could have, which is frustrating. I got a B, so I’ll just have to study harder for the next one. Practice went long, and then Chris and I stayed after to review some new plays to take to Coach C.”

Thalia groans, looking up at me begrudgingly. Her expression is not happy, but it’s a win for me because she’s looking at me. “What do you want, Sebastian?”

I give her my most charming smile. “To say I’m sorry.”

“Seems to be a pattern lately.”

Thalia looks back down at her computer to ignore me again. “I really am sorry. For all of it. I should have told you about Vera, and it was unacceptable for me to bring Louis into it.”

“Do I look like I care if you’re sorry or not? It doesn’t change anything,” she says, pulling her blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Will you please just talk to me?”

Lia lets out a frustrated sigh, shutting her computer. “No. I don’t want to talk to you. What part of that is hard for your brain to comprehend?” She stands up, grabbing her flowers before moving quickly to the other side of the counter where I am. “I don’t want your flowers either.” She drops them into the trash, right where the last batch of flowers went.

I reach out to wrap my fingers around her hand before Thalia can walk away from me again. “Lia, I messed up. I know I did. What do I have to do for you to forgive me? Just tell me, and I’ll do it.” I’m not expecting forgiveness today. I’m not stupid.

She stills, lifting her emerald eyes to meet mine. “Nothing. Nothing you can say or do will get us back to where we were. Say I can get past you sleeping with my best friend before we got together and not telling me about it—why would I want to be with someone who can throw a traumatizing moment in my face? Do you even know how fucked up that is?” Her words pierce the exact way she intends them to.

“I do,” I agree, hoping she understands how much I regret it. “I do know, and I’m sorry. I lost my temper, and I took it too far.”

Thalia looks down at the narrowing space between us, realizing how closely we’re standing, and pushes me back. She doesn’t pull her hand away from me, though. “You convinced me that this was a good idea, that we were a good idea. Not that I owe you an explanation, but I want you to know that after everything that happened with Louis, I never talked about it until I told you. Despite never telling anyone what happened, I still told you because I wanted to be honest when you asked about my last relationship. I’m not saying that was the perfect moment to tell me about Vera, but if you planned on telling me, I think you would have tried a little harder.”

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know that. I felt terrible before this, but now I don’t think I’ll ever assuage my guilt for trying to excuse my actions with something terrible that happened to Thalia. I grip the island counter to steady myself. “I’ll do anything. Anything, Thalia. I am so sorry. It was a mistake.”

“So was telling you about him. I have done so much to put it behind me, and then you treat it like a joke. Now let me go before Owen sees us,” Thalia seethes, and while I don’t want to, I let her go. She could have pulled away if she wanted to, but she didn’t. I can’t push her too far, or I’ll only succeed in pushing her away. The only way to get Thalia back is if it’s her decision.

Quite frankly, I don’t care if Owen sees. I do what she asks and take a few steps back to create the space she wants. “I’m not going to stop. I want you back, but I’ll wait until you’re ready. When that happens, I’ll shout it from the rooftops, and I’ll buy you enough flowers to fill the apartment with.”

“It’d be a waste of money. They die anyway.” Thalia twists her hands together. I have to remind myself that at least she’s talking to me. This wasn’t a total loss. Thalia grabs her stuff, retreating to her room without another glance at me.

Today was progress.

CHAPTER THIRTY

Thalia

ERIC’S GIRLFRIEND, NATALIE, is the teacher’s assistant for one of my photography classes this semester. It’s weird because we’re friends, but we agreed when I got back that it meant no favoritism. She works with the school newspaper and is one of the sweetest humans I know. Natalie and Eric are perfect together. I wonder what that must feel like. Sebastian and I could not be more wrong for each other.

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