Page 31 of Little Do You Know

Great, and now I’m thinking about kissing him again.

It’s going to be a long couple of days.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Sebastian

WE WON, BUT it was by the skin of our teeth. My favorite fullback was hit hard and is now out for concussion protocol. I was blitzed almost too many times for comfort and ran the ball a few times myself.

It’s a win in the books, even if it doesn’t feel like one.

The game uncovered many of our weaknesses, some of which I wasn’t even aware of. Miami was solid, and if it weren’t for Owen, we probably wouldn’t have won that game. He was somehow able to shake the players covering him, making it possible for me to get the ball in his hands.

I don’t blame the team for wanting to go out and celebrate at the bars, but it wasn’t good enough for me. We could have done better. I’ve spent nearly the entire plane ride home watching the game review and going over everything. I know our coaches are doing the same.

We were so close to a national championship last year, and it slipped through our fingers. Not this year; I want to win. The mistakes we made in today’s game can’t happen again.

Owen nudges me, pulling my attention away from the replay I was watching on my iPad. “You good?” he asks, watching me closely.

“Just thinking about the game.”

“Dude, that’s all you have done the entire trip. It was a close game, but it’s a collective effort,” he says.

“You’re right. It is a collective effort, and I’m a captain. If even one person fails to prepare, that’s on me.”

“Cut yourself a break, Captain. We still won. Our asses will be handed to us at practice all week for how the team collectively played. This isn’t on you, and you shouldn’t sit here stressing about it instead of taking it for what it ended up being: a win.”

“Whatever you say.” I roll my eyes. Owen prefers to go over the film once we get back home, whereas I start on the trip back.

He pauses for a moment. “I, uhm—I talked to Thalia.”

“Really?” I’m unable to mask the surprise in my voice. I really wasn’t expecting him to say that.

“I apologized to her. Well, actually, she apologized to me first. I told her I shouldn’t have said what I said, but I don’t think I’m wrong to worry. Right?” Owen asks, looking grim. I don’t think he’s wrong to worry. I do too.

I’m glad that he apologized and took back what he said.

I’ve also said horrible things to her I wish I could take back. There’s a lot I wish I could take back.

“Right.”

“I’d like to believe nothing bad will ever happen. I don’t trust men. I know that I would never hurt a woman, I know that you would never hurt a woman, but random people I don’t know? Who knows what they would do? Lia’s my sister, and I love her to pieces, but to others, she’s a piece of meat they can use however they please. It makes me sick to my stomach. Sometimes, I wish I had a brother instead; I wouldn’t have to worry about the wrong person trying to take advantage of her.”

A spike of guilt shoots through me, because I know what will happen with Thalia when we return to Duke. Fuck, I never should have agreed to her stupid proposition, even if Thalia has a valid point. One night, and we’ll get it out of our systems.

I haven’t allowed myself to think about her because if I do…I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.

I’m breaking so many codes by agreeing, but I don’t know what else to do. It’s been years, and I have tried so damn hard to forget how I feel about Thalia out of respect for my friendship with Owen.

I can admit I was a manslut freshman year, but I didn’t like how it made me feel, so I stopped sleeping around. I even went far enough to try to actually date someone. It didn’t last because I paid more attention to football than her, but I tried.

Sophomore year, Thalia was everywhere I went. I thought if I ignored and treated her like she was an annoyance, she’d leave me alone in my suffering. Then Lia kissed me, and I finally knew what it felt like to kiss Thalia after wanting her for so long.

Until a few days ago, I’d been relying on the memory of how it felt. I was a fool to sleep with Lucy to try to forget. It didn’t work. I’ve never been able to forget her.

“Thalia can handle herself, Owen. I don’t think you have much to worry about, but I get why you do. It’s awful to think about someone hurting her,” I finally say, and he doesn’t look quite so convinced. Lia might be tiny, but I know she could kick my ass if she wanted to. “When did you guys talk?”

“It was right before you came out of your room Friday morning. I wasn’t expecting anyone on the couch, and Lia scared the shit out of me when she said something,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I didn’t realize she still has insomnia.”

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