Page 25 of Little Do You Know

I can’t help but rev the engine, undoubtedly pissing every single one of our neighbors off if they’re home. I don’t know where I want to go, but anywhere is better than here. I finally pick a park, and it dawns on me as I walk through the wet grass that I should have chosen different shoes. Perhaps I should have thought this one out a little bit more, but I am so fucking confused. I shouldn’t let Sebastian get into my head, but he won’t go away.

There’s not a cloud in the sky, and the stars are twinkling especially brightly tonight. I adjust the settings on my camera to capture the beauty of what can be seen when you take the time to look.

I prefer nature to people. Pictures capture people for who they really are.

~

There is a knock on the door, and I turn my music down. I’ve been busy packing the last of my things. All that’s really left in the dorm room that Vera and I share is my outfit for tonight’s party and my clothes for tomorrow. It can’t be Vera because she’s supposed to be helping get everything ready for tonight.

I wasn’t allowed to help because I hadn’t finished packing. It sucks having friends more responsible than you because they force you to do the things you procrastinate. “Door’s unlocked. Come in!”

I turn, expecting it to be Stacey or one of my other friends from the floor, but Sebastian is standing there instead. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming by?” Why does his face look like that?

He quickly closes the distance between us, leaning down to cup my face with his hands. I can feel the calluses on his hands that he’s earned from all the hours he’s spent working out. My breath hitches as Bash lowers his head, brushing his lips briefly over mine. It’s a taste that sober me can appreciate as opposed to our intoxicated kiss last week. What is he doing?

It’s tempting to ask when he pulls away, his dark eyes scanning my face. I wish I knew what he was looking for because I’d give anything for him not to leave right now. I push onto my tiptoes, closing the distance between our lips.

Is this really happening? I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m definitely not complaining.

Sebastian slides one hand behind my neck to hold me in place, as if I’d even try to escape now. His mouth moves tentatively against mine, almost like he’s studying me. I’m okay with that. Bash can study me any way he wants as long as it involves his hands and mouth on any part of me. I open my mouth, surrendering myself to him, vaguely aware that I’ll never be able to look at Sebastian the same way ever again. Realistically, I’ve been avoiding him since last week. It wasn’t very hard, given it was finals week, and I did have exams to pass. Shit, I really wasted my last week in the United States focusing on the recorded past when I could have been doing this. I really wish I hadn’t avoided Sebastian.

I twist my fingers into his shirt and pull him backward until my back is flush against the wall. Bash’s tongue strokes against mine, and my legs threaten to give out under me. This is better than all the times I imagined before. I slip my hands greedily under his shirt, feeling every toned muscle I’ve seen him work for. The number of times I’ve been dragged along to the fields with them to watch them run plays gave me plenty of fantasy material over the years, so I guess I can’t complain on that end. His kiss is punishing and relentless. Drunk me didn’t appreciate this enough, but sober me could become addicted very quickly.

Sebastian pulls away, but instead of kissing me, he lowers his head more to press his candy-sweet lips against my pulse, which is thudding fast. I tilt my head, giving him a better angle as I touch his hair to feel how soft it is for my enjoyment. The last time I touched his dark hair, I was probably mashing gum into it. The haircut he had to get afterward didn’t even look bad.

I catch sight of my packed suitcase as a knock sounds at the door. It’s a short series of tapping that I recognize immediately belonging to Owen, even in the dazed, euphoric state I’m currently in. Oh fuck. I push Sebastian off me, but I can’t stop myself from stealing one more short kiss before I point to the bathroom we share with our suitemates. “It’s Owen. I’ll get him to go away.”

Bash’s face is unreadable as he disappears behind the door when Owen knocks again. “Thalia! I know you’re in there. Open up!”

I glance in the mirror, and at least to me, it’s pretty clear what I was doing here. Shit, why did Owen have to show up here, now, of all times, while his best friend is hiding in my bathroom? “Give me a second; I’m changing!” I pull my hair up quickly to hide its mess and reapply lip gloss to look more presentable. Why would I be wearing lip gloss in my room by myself? I don't have a clue, but hopefully, Owen won’t question it. I open the door, and Owen rolls his eyes.

“Were you hoping I’d go away if you didn’t answer the door?”

“Hello to you too,” I greet, leaving the door open so he’ll get the hint that he isn’t welcome to stay. I look at the bathroom as Owen looks at my packed bags. This is dangerous.

“Is something going on with you and Bash?” he asks bluntly, shutting the door behind him. Owen’s not fucking around right now. I feel my smile slip. Don’t look at the bathroom.

“Why would you even ask that?”

He folds his arms over his chest. “One of the guys on D-line told me he saw you kissing at a party last weekend. Were you kissing Sebastian?” My heart starts beating faster in my chest as panic triggers my fight response.

I do my best to keep my voice from shaking so I have a shot at Owen believing me. “Seriously? You think I’d kiss your best friend?” I laugh as if the idea of Bash and I kissing is hilarious in the hopes it will keep Owen from seeing right through me. “Owen, come on. He can’t stand me, and I’m a little offended that you think I’d lower my standards for a dumb jock who can’t even pick a major because everything revolves around football! Why would I want him? I’ve seen what you two have done to girls in the past, and I want no part of it.”

My stomach twists into knots because I completely and entirely do want a part of it, regardless of Sebastian’s past with girls. I don’t care, but I cannot explain that to Owen. Maybe I should try a different career path as an actress because Owen relaxes. “Thank God. I told him he was full of shit,” he says before looking at my clothes. “You should finish getting ready for the party; you don’t want to be late, considering the party is for you,” Owen says.

I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“I’ll see you later,”I choke out, practically shoving him out the door to shut it behind him. There was no other way, right? It had to be believable, so I went more extreme, but Bash will understand.

Sebastian opens the door silently. “Hey, I—”

My voice fails because of the look on his face. It’s full of hatred and disgust. Bash’s mouth opens and shuts, no words making their way out. Finally, he shakes his head and walks past me without a word. The door clicks shut, the sound echoing through the room.

I went extreme so Owen would believe me, but I didn’t have time to consider the possibility Sebastian would as well.

~

Pictures are memories for me, so it’s unheard of that I would get rid of any. But, I did. I deleted every photo from that night. The photos only reminded me of my mistake, and I wanted to forget. I’ve tried like hell to forget.

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