Page 15 of Firefighter Midlife Wolf

“Thanks.” Hayden clenched his jaw, forcing himself not to turn and look at her. He didn’t have to see her with his eyes to know her beauty. He felt it washing over him. It should feel so good, but right now it only hurt. “I’d stay with him every second if I could, you know.”

“I know. No one is really equipped to handle things like this, Hayden. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” She leaned an elbow on the railing. “There’s more than that, though, isn’t there?”

So much more. She’d known instantly that something was wrong, and she was right. “It’s just been stressful, that’s all. I’m constantly coordinating something or fielding phone calls. It’s work, and then it’s Jack, and then it’s something else I forgot to do. Don’t get me wrong. I’m up to the challenge. I’ll do absolutely everything that’s needed for my kids. I’m just starting to feel like I’m running out of steam. Plus, Jack has been so hard on himself. He thinks he’s a burden because he can’t heal up like the rest of us can. I tried to talk to him about it, but teens are difficult. If you say anything positive to them, they think you’re only saying it because you’re the parent and you have to.”

A strand of hair had come loose from her ponytail, and she tucked it behind her ear. The movement caught Hayden’s eye and made him turn toward her despite his efforts not to. As it had before, the sunlight highlighted her hair in a deep red that reflected the fire she’d started within him.

“There’s a reason we have things like caregiver support groups, visiting nurses, and even nursing homes. It’s not easy, especially when it’s someone you love. If you don’t want Jack to be too hard on himself, show him. Don’t beat yourself up over this. You’re doing a great job, and this won’t be forever.” Her eyes lifted to his, her face so soft and understanding.

Sparks of energy flew through his body as he studied the flecks of silver and smoke in her eyes, wondering if they reflected the color of her coat in her other form. “I’m sorry. I really only meant to ask you about someone to sit with him. I shouldn’t have laid all that other stuff on you.”

“It’s all right. Really.” Jessica smiled. “It’s good for people to get things off their chests, even if nothing can be done about them.”

Was that her way of telling him she knew? The idea made his wolf surge once again, urging him to forget about being polite or professional. She was a warm, kind, and caring woman, and her soul fit so well with his that he could barely handle it.

She was there for Jack. He had to remember that. “You’re right. You know, I’ve come out here a few times over the last week or so. All I can think about is Jack chasing after Ellie through the yard. There’s enough of an age gap between them that she loves it when he pretends to be a monster or something. She’ll scream her head off, but she’s always laughing like crazy once he catches her. I just want to see that again.”

“You will. It’ll take time, and it feels like forever right now. But he’ll get there. Here.” Jessica reached into her pocket and pulled out a business card and a pen. She set it on the railing as she wrote across the top of it. “That’s my personal cell. If you need anything and don’t want to wait to go through the agency, just give me a call.”

Hayden felt the jolt in his palm as he accepted the card. He didn’t even look at the number because he was too focused on her face. How much longer could he stand having her right there in his home without being a part of it?

8

“Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.” Jessica slammed her palm against her steering wheel in time to her words. She’d given Hayden her personal number. There was no need to do that. He could easily reach her through work. For that matter, anyone at the agency would be happy to help him with whatever questions he might have. It was true that she’d given him her number out of compassion and concern, and she really did want to help. But her wolf had far more selfish intentions in mind, and she knew how it looked.

“I just need to run over to Verna’s and tell Darcy I’m flirting with a patient’s family member. That’ll give her plenty of fuel against me if she decides to call.” Jessica thought about calling Dawn to see what she thought about the subject but then remembered she was working her regular shift in the ER that night, not to mention the fact that Dawn and Hayden were both Glenwoods. Things were getting too complicated, so she let it go for now. Jessica would deal with it if and when Hayden decided to call her.

At least she knew she had the night to spend with Paige. That always made everything better.

“I’m home,” she called out as she came through the door. It was a habit she’d started when she and Paige had moved into this apartment. They’d always lived in a single-family home before, and Paige had been a bit freaked out by the noise of the other tenants around them. That had only lasted a week or two, but Jessica found that she liked saying it. “I’m home” meant not just that she’d arrived but that this new place was actually their home. It gave her a sense of stability even when the world felt like it was crumbling around her.

“You are?” Paige stood by the kitchen door, wide-eyed and breathless. “You’re early!”

“Not really.” Jessica’s arrival time depended on how many appointments she had for the day and how far from home they were. She put down her bag and took off her shoes, wondering just what Paige was up to that she didn’t want her mother home yet. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Paige ran back into the kitchen.

Nothing, my ass. Her daughter had never been one to get in much trouble, but this was definitely odd behavior from her. “What’s that smell?”

“Nothing!” Paige repeated.

It was a good smell, at least. Jessica headed toward the kitchen. “Did you have something delivered?”

“No!” As her mother approached, Paige ran back into the kitchen doorway. She pressed her palms firmly against the drywall. “You go change.”

Jessica caught a glimpse of the messy kitchen and had a feeling she knew precisely what was happening. “All right. I’ll change and wash my hands. You let me know if you need anything.”

“I won’t!”

Moving down the hall to her room, Jessica stripped off her scrubs and threw on a pair of leggings and a long t-shirt. Her work uniform was comfortable, but there was something so nice about changing when she got home. After washing her hands, she took the opportunity to make a full flop on her bed. She was tired from her workday, but most of all, she was mentally drained. Did Hayden have any clue how difficult it was for her to take care of Jack? He was a great kid, but being so close to Hayden three days a week was killing her. She had to fight hard to focus on her job instead of turning to look at that square jaw and those wide shoulders. His voice echoed down her spine, making even the most mundane conversations about medications sound like pillow talk. A distinct flow of energy moved through her every time she had him on her schedule.

Jessica turned onto her back and stared up at the lazily spinning ceiling fan, the same way she did when she was Paige’s age and had a new obsession that sat next to her in math class. Hayden had to know. Her wolf wasn’t just making this up. She’d certainly felt something for Brandon when they’d met, but that was just a tiny spark compared to this bonfire that burned within her now.

Even if he knew, they were stuck in their circumstances. She’d already crossed a line by giving him her number. He had an injured son. What kind of jerk would she be if she tried to hit on him when he had so much on his plate?

Then there was Paige.

“Mom!” she called, right on time.

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