Page 45 of Avelina

Ward coughed, suppressing a laugh. “None of us want that. Trust me,” he said.

The comment annoyed Aaron, which is when I realized that I hadn’t explained Evilina to him yet. He felt like he was stuck on the outside of an inside joke. He pulled his hand away, but I hung on. “Stop,” I said. He blinked at me. “You have to stop.”

“Stop what?” he snapped. Heat rolled off him like someone had opened an oven.

I scooted closer, craned my neck up to look him right in the eye, and gave him my best Give me a freaking break face.

He looked back at me, his jaw clenched, intimidating in its savage anger. I waited, stubbornly refusing to back down. Impossible man. I never had this trouble with Drew.

Aaron’s face darkened. Well, maybe you should go back to him then.

I felt my eyes widen and my jaw drop. I hadn’t meant to send that errant thought about Drew to him, but his response was needlessly spiteful. This conversation was going off the rails. I needed to get back on track.

I need you, Aaron. I also need Ward—my friend, Ward. Don’t make me choose.

Why not? he thought, his eyes flashing. Because you would choose him? Your friend betrayed you. He betrayed us both, but you told him you love him and you’re acting like everything’s fine. It’s not fine.

His stupid, freaking super hearing had picked up what I’d whispered to Ward. That’s what you’re mad about? He’s my oldest friend. I do love him. And he was trapped, Aaron. He didn’t choose it.

There’s always a choice, remember? I guess you’ve made yours. He yanked his hand away, leaving me with an unexpected stabbing pain in my chest.

I stepped back from him, doubling over. The words themselves hadn’t been that harsh, but the delivery had been absolutely venomous, and I had received them with my Connection link wide open and my Protection down. I grabbed my chest like I was having a heart attack. If I had been looking at myself from the outside, I would have called myself a drama queen, but this was real pain, not just an emotional response. Something about the interaction had caused a kind of energy blowback that had physically struck me. It was like Aaron had severed our Connection link, which then snapped back like a rubber band, smacking me right in my heart.

What the hell was that? I thought.

Ward flew to me. “Lina,” he said, surprised as I was by the sudden turn of events. He wrapped his arm around my chest, supporting me. “What is happening?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure.” I hyperventilated for a few more seconds, letting tears stream down my face, but Ward’s warmth and concern comforted me, and the pain dissipated after a minute. When I stood back up, my nose was running. I wiped it with the back of my hand, then noticed that it was streaked with red.

“For fuck’s sake,” I mumbled, pinching my nose. It was a good thing my shirt was red. I glanced at Aaron, expecting remorse, but his face was stony.

I could have pointed out that he’d burned Ward’s freaking face off without a choice and that he had now done whatever that was, but instead, I looked down and said, “Spirit says the way is clear. We can climb the fence. I’ll follow you if you still want me to.”

He didn’t move, and I didn’t look at him. I didn’t have the energy to continue the conversation and simultaneously keep my shit together. I was wrong about him, I thought, shaking my head. He told me yesterday that he had a hard time regulating emotion, but I didn’t listen.

I stood there, waiting, not knowing what to do next. I couldn’t believe the man I’d bonded with so strongly only that morning, who I’d been convinced would protect me from harm, was now someone I needed to keep a distance from lest he hurt me himself.

Don’t cry yet. Wait until you’re alone. Inhale. Exhale. I turned away from Aaron, swallowing a growing lump in my throat.

Aaron hesitated, then picked up the dragon and walked toward the fence without a word.

Ward handed me a cloth for my face, and I pressed it to my nose. I looked at what he had handed me and saw that it was Aaron’s white shirt. He must have pulled it out of my bag. I gave Ward a wry look, but he just shrugged, smirking. Then, he took my hand, and we walked toward the fence like that, Aaron’s opinion be damned.

Chapter Fourteen

Linorra crumpled to the stone floor, the arrow lodged snugly within her breast. She closed her eyes and let her body relax, knowing she would not be able to overcome her fate this time. If only she had the chance to speak with Syndeth one last time. She would tell him she loved him.

Climbing the fence wasn’t that hard, but I had to wait for my nose to stop bleeding. I was learning the hard way that fragment use comes with a price, even the seemingly innocuous ones like Connection. The link had physically hurt me, and I didn’t know how or why. It was so goddamn frustrating. There was no one to teach me, so I had to blunder around like an idiot.

When we reached the other side of the fence, Ward broke off a twig of jarring weed and gave it to me.

“Keep this under your nose while we walk,” he said. “It will make you feel better.”

He was right. I inhaled the jarring weed for the next hour while we walked through the fields. The scent was soothing and somehow helped me think more clearly, though it exacerbated my drowsiness. The longer I had it in my face, the more I realized that the smell alone had some kind of psychoactive effect. I started to feel like I was on the outside of my life, looking in, calming down to the point of nearly dissociating from my situation. I asked myself deep, philosophical questions that I would later completely forget, and I stumbled a few times, forgetting to pay attention to my body.

In short, the plant got me high. I chuckled when this fact finally occurred to me, and I wondered if I could grow the stuff on Earth if I brought home clippings. I could make a fortune. Evilina, queenpin of the Pacific Northwest. I covered my mouth, trying to suppress my giggle, but looked up when I heard Ward laughing under his breath. He knew exactly what was happening, as always.

As night came on, I found it harder and harder to see where I stepped. The men, with their superior Monashi vision, didn’t have any such problem. Ward took my hand again. He knew that I had stupid, useless Earth eyes and took it upon himself to guide me, which made sense given that it was Ward who’d drugged me to begin with.

---