Page 6 of He Falls First

“Do it!” Cora says. “For Lizzy.”

Allison sighs. “Fine. I’m in.”

“Do we all swear? No falling unless he’s fallen first.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.” I roll my eyeballs for effect.

“Good.” Allison jumps up suddenly, gathering a pile of random objects from around my bedroom—a t-shirt here, a Valentine’s Day card there, all souvenirs from past loves that somehow never made it into the trash.

“Where are you going with my emotional baggage?” I ask, one eyebrow cocked as I watch her make a beeline for the door.

“Roof,” is all she says, and Cora and I exchange glances before following her up the emergency stairs.

“Is this some sort of exorcism?” I joke.

My pulse quickens, though, when I step onto the rooftop and see Allison arranging the items in a circle.

“Consider it a cleansing fire,” she says, striking a match with a flourish.

Before I can protest, the flame catches, and my past goes up in smoke. The night air nips at my skin as the flickering flames cast a dance of shadows across our faces. I stand there, clutching a moth-eaten scarf one ex had conveniently ‘forgotten’ at my place. Now, it’s turning to ash before my eyes. Allison’s outstretched hands feed the fire a shirt, while Cora tosses in a greeting card with a scoff. I watch bits of fabric and paper curl and blacken, the acrid scent mingling with the evening air. There’s something cathartic about watching those mementos burn, their ashes carried away by the breeze.

“Goodbye, bad choices,” I whisper under my breath, inhaling deeply.

“Good riddance,” Cora agrees, hugging her arms around herself against the chill.

I doubt this pledge will be as transformative as they’re hoping, but maybe it’ll be something.

“Don’t get your hopes up too high,” I remind them. “I might not even have time to date, with Hendrix on my ass about work.”

“On your ass, huh?” Allison smirks. “Then maybe he’ll be the man who falls for you.”

I throw my head back to toss a cackle into the air. “Yeah, right!”

“Well, whoever he is, he’ll be lucky,” Cora says.

“May your future be filled with men who fall first and fall hard,” Allison proclaims, raising her arms as if summoning a blessing from the universe itself.

“Fall first and fall hard,” I echo, feeling the weight of the pledge settle around me like a promise.

Together, we lean toward the warmth of the fire, our voices mingling and rising into the night. “He falls first!”

We repeat the mantra, our words crackling with the same energy as the fire. It’s silly, sure, but the solidarity feels good—empowering, even. I’ll carry it with me tomorrow at work, I decide as I watch the embers, their glow dimming with each passing second. If I don’t have time for anything other than work, then this is who I’ll be at the office. The woman who doesn’t take anyone’s bull.

I don’t tell this part to my friends, but I don’t know if I even have it in me to try dating right now. Do I really want to do this dance again, waiting for someone to trip over themselves into love with me?

“Hey,” Cora says softly, her hand resting on my shoulder. “No matter what happens, we’ve got your back. And remember, no falling. Not unless he does it first.”

“Right.” I let the simple touch anchor me. “No falling.”

But as I peer into the dying light, the skeptic in me can’t help but mock: ‘No falling’—as if I’ll even have time to stumble.

Chapter 3

Elizabeth

The next day, you can just call me Take No Shit Summers as I walk through the office with my new mission in mind. That’s who I am in my head, anyway.

Not so much with Hendrix, who hasn’t given me a chance to demonstrate my new attitude yet. He’s all about giving orders without waiting for input today, but the first chance I get to say anything other than “yes, sir,” he’s going to hear something new from me.

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