Page 4 of He Falls First

“Sure.” I laugh. “Maybe he’s not really glaring. Maybe he just squints a lot because he’s secretly a vampire allergic to light, or he’s always trying to read the fine print on everything.”

Allison nods, adding, “Exactly! Or he thinks if he squints hard enough, he’ll magically make all his problems look smaller. Like an optical illusion for stress management.”

“That means he was trying to make me smaller,” I say, groaning. “And we’re back to him hating me! This is bad. I’m off to a terrible start. As if letting Gabrielle down on her last day wasn’t bad enough…”

“Wait, what?” Allison turns her squint to me.

“I highly doubt you let her down,” Cora says. “That woman adores you, and her kid does, too.”

“And I let both her and her kid down!” I groan again. “You guys only doubt it because you weren’t there. Gabrielle and Harper needed me, and I could’ve been their hero. Instead, I was a major letdown.”

“You’re going to need to back up and explain,” Allison says. “Because in all the time that Gabrielle was your boss, she never had a bad word to say about you. So, is it possible that this is just yet another case of you judging yourself harsher than anyone else would?”

“You have to admit, that would be classic Lizzy,” Cora adds, tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ear.

I shake my head. “No. I’m telling you guys. It was bad. Lives were on the line! And I failed.”

Allison raises an eyebrow skeptically. “Lives?”

I sigh. “Okay, just one life.”

“Uh… So, who died?”

“Harper’s pet!”

“Oh, honey.” Cora’s face falls. “I get it now, that’s no joke. Pets are part of the family. Were you trying to get it to the vet’s office?”

“Well, no, not exactly…”

Allison still looks skeptical. “What kind of pet was it?”

I bite my lip. “Well, um, a dragon.”

Cora’s still looking sympathetic, but I think I'm starting to lose her, too. “Like, a lizard?”

“No, a dragon. A digital dragon, okay?” I look down. “Harper’s pet Drago is a virtual dragon. He’s this cute little thing with whiskers and mini wings.”

“I don’t think dragons have whiskers,” Cora says, pursing her lips in thought.

Allison waves a hand. “And I don’t think we should be losing sight of the fact that dragons do not exist.”

I shake my head and continue. “Anyway, Drago lives on an app, and the app died, and Harper’s utterly devastated, I just thought maybe if I could fix it, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard for her to lose me, you know, because she and I have gotten so close and now Gabrielle’s not my boss anymore…”

I stop talking, because when your friends look at you like they’re thinking, ‘Say one more word about this and we’re sending you to the psych ward,’ that’s what you do.

“Let me get this straight,” Allison says. “You’re having a crisis of confidence because you couldn’t keep an animal alive—and that animal’s not even real? Not to mention, it doesn’t even matter, because ‘virtual creature rescuer’ isn’t even in your job description, and besides, Gabrielle’s not even the one who signs your paychecks anymore?”

“You don’t understand,” I wail. “All I had to do was get on the phone with that app company and make them take me seriously. But I couldn’t even do that—because nobody is intimidated by a voice that sounds like an overenthusiastic puppy dog’s squeaky toy—and now Drago’s gone forever. And losing him is the last memory Harper will have of me.”

I cringe, remembering how I’d squawked, “I am a grownup!” when the customer service rep asked me to put my mommy on the phone. I’m silently cursing every helium balloon I ever inhaled at childhood parties. My squeaky voice is so annoying. People found it endearing when I was a kid, so I didn’t have a problem with it then. But as I got older—and my voice decidedly didn’t—it just became an excuse for people to not take me seriously.

See my first interaction with Hendrix Monroe. Ugh.

“But why do you care?” Allison says. “This feels a little like when you were still worried about picking up Aaron’s dry cleaning—after he dumped you.”

“This is not the same at all.” I roll my eyes at the mention of my most recent ex. “Look, I know I don’t owe Gabby or Harper anything, but this is about doing what’s right. Harper adored that silly digital dragon. And I know Gabrielle isn’t my boss anymore, but Harper…” My voice trails off as I tug at a loose thread on the couch cushion. “She almost feels like family. Like the little sister I never had. And can you imagine starting your week with your favorite toy broken? It’s a small stand, but it’s mine.”

“I get it,” Cora says with a gentle wave.

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