Page 3 of Back to You

He’s so beautiful, Brandon thought as he always did. Pale skin, freckles across his nose, strawberry blond hair with a slight curl. Ethan wasn’t as big as him, though they were about the same height of 6’1”. But he was just so elegant and graceful, as opposed to Brandon, with his dark hair, brown eyes and permascowl behind black-framed glasses.

Every morning since their first together, he had kissed Ethan goodbye with a soft brush of his lips on Ethan’s forehead. For the first time, he simply turned away and walked out the door.

***

“Do you think he might be cheating?” Michelle asked quietly.

It said something that his bold, confident sister seemed so timid when asking the question Brandon himself had pondered once or twice.

He sighed. “No. Not that I haven’t wondered, but I know Ethan. He wouldn’t do that — if he was done he’d tell me.”

Michelle nodded. “I think so too. I’m not happy with him right now, but I don’t think he’s capable of cheating. It’s just not him. Plus he’s crazy about you. I just wanted to make sure you realized it.”

Brandon continued adding fresh pastries to the display case, refreshing the selection following the morning rush. Every morning he opened the cafe with Marcus, making drinks as Marcus manned the register. They were fortunate in their location — near many residential neighborhoods people flooded out of on their way to work every morning. The cafe had become popular not only because of the attached soft play area for kids, but also because of the quality of their drinks and food.

Ten years ago, after graduating with an English degree he suddenly had no clue what to do with, Brandon found himself at a loss. He’d been interested in his classes in college, but finding work proved to be somewhat difficult. Especially considering his main interests were baking and reading books.

Along came Michelle, newly married and bored with her 9-to-5. With her business degree and his talents in the kitchen, a cafe had been the obvious choice. When Michelle’s first child turned 4, they bought the space next door and offered the play area, allowing tired parents to bring their offspring in to burn off energy while the parents enjoyed a moment of peace and some much-needed caffeine.

“What the hell do I do?” Brandon wondered. “I love him, Michelle. But I never see him. How can you even love someone who’s never there?”

Michelle patted his arm, which was a big indicator of the seriousness of their conversation. She wasn’t the touchy-feely sort. “That depends. Do you think he’ll change?”

“We’ve talked about this so many times. I know he’s trying like hell to make senior associate, but it’s like it’s taken over his life. He’ll promise to cut back on his hours, but then one of the partners just absolutely can’t do this project without him, and he swears he’ll cut back once it’s done. But there’s always another damn project, or another meeting, or so-and-so just needs a little help and he swears he’ll be home soon.” Brandon shoved his hands through his hair. “I know his career is important to him, so is mine. And lord knows we worked some crazy hours getting this place up and running. Am I wrong, though, to want him to take just a little time for me? Am I being selfish?”

“No, I don’t think you are. And you know I’d tell you if you were.” That was the truth. No one was more honest and blunt than his big sister. “You guys have gotten a little codependent lately, did you realize that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I honestly don’t know what would happen to Ethan without you. And I’m not sure you’d be much better off. I’m not trying to influence you, just point it out.”

“I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

“Brandon, only you can decide this. But as far as I can tell you have two choices. You can stay, keep talking about it with him, maybe try couples therapy, and hope things change. Or …”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Or.”

Michelle patted him again, then put her hands on her hips. “Well, that’s enough of that.”

“It’s like you’re allergic to other people’s emotions,” Brandon marveled.

She flipped him off on her way to the register as someone walked into the cafe.

Brandon headed back to the kitchen where it was safe. It had been unanimously decided that he shouldn’t deal with customers much if at all possible.

“It’s not that you’re … bad with customers,” Marcus had said delicately.

“No, you just look at them like you’re judging them,” Michelle had declared much less delicately. “Or that you think they’re stupid. You have resting ‘fuck off’ face.”

Brandon turned his attention to baking more cookies. They never seemed to have enough cookies.

“Hey man,” said Marcus as he entered the kitchen. “Michelle said I had to come check on you.”

Brandon snorted a laugh. “Now she’s pawning me off on unsuspecting employees. I’m fine, thanks though.”

Marcus tilted his head and studied Brandon for a moment. “You sure? You seem more tense than normal, which is really impressive.”

“Relationship shit. Relationshit? Does that work?”

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