Page 84 of Back to You

“Any time, you know that.”

And with that, they were gone. Brandon stared at the door for a while, thinking about how good Ethan looked. Gone were the sunken cheeks and too-big clothes and bruised eyes. He looked healthy and happy, and it was all without Brandon’s help.

“You’re brooding.”

Brandon turned to Marcus. “What?”

“I said, you’re brooding. What’s with that face?”

“It’s just my face.”

“Well, true, you do always kind of look like that. But this is more ‘I’m unhappy,’ as opposed to your usual ‘fuck this’ face. Come on, what’s wrong?”

“I just … can’t help but feel like Ethan’s moving on without me, and I’m still stuck in the miserable-and-wanting-him-back phase.”

“I don’t know if that’s the case. I mean, yeah, he’s doing a lot better, and that’s a good thing.”

“I know! I don’t begrudge him that, not at all. I’m happy he’s doing so much better. I just wish that maybe I could have helped him back then.”

Marcus sighed. “I think we all know that it took losing you to knock some sense into Ethan. Don’t feel bad for what happened — you made the right choice for yourself at the time.” He shuffled awkwardly. “You told me you couldn’t trust Ethan anymore after he broke so many promises. Is that still the case?”

Brandon thought that over while Marcus went to serve the customer who’d just walked in. Could he trust Ethan? He wasn’t sure. It sure seemed like he was getting better about work, but who’s to say it couldn’t change on a dime?

“I think I’m still wary of him and his job,” Brandon finally said as Marcus finished up with the customer. “I don’t fully trust that he won’t go back to that workaholic mode. Hell, he’s still working late a few days a week, and I’m pretty sure he’s working Sundays still.”

“I don’t know, man. He left pretty early today to come get Lake.”

“Well, Ethan’s always been a good friend. He’d give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.”

“What you two really need is couples counseling. There’s only so much talking to friends and family can do.”

“You think so?”

“Look how much progress Ethan has made in therapy. It wouldn’t hurt for you two to try it together. That is if you’re both interested in getting back together.”

“Yeah.” Brandon sighed. He knew he wanted Ethan back. He could admit that.

But did Ethan still want him?

***

“I’ve been seeing Brandon more lately,” Ethan said.

“Not to sound like a cliche, but how do you feel about that?” Sarah said.

“It’s been good,” he said. “Kind of cathartic. We’ve talked a little bit about what went wrong. He says he feels guilty for not seeing that I needed professional help back then.”

“Well, he could only have seen that if you allowed him to, and I doubt you did that.”

“No, I tried to keep everything locked down pretty tight, I think. I never realized that’s what was happening, though.”

“The subconscious mind is an incredible thing,” Sarah said.

“Yeah.” He stopped to gather his thoughts. “Sarah, I still want to be with him.”

She wrote something down. “Do you think that’s an attainable goal?”

“I don’t know. I hurt him pretty badly back then. He told me when we broke up that he couldn’t trust me.”

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