Page 37 of Wish We Were There

“I think we’re going to need a few more minutes.”

Parker took a long sip of his drink to avoid having to say any more, scowling down at his glass.

“Look, dude,” Dean said, startling Parker. “We’re only doing this because we know you make Taylor happy. If you don’t want to be with him, stop stringing him along. If you do, quit playing fucking hard to get with him, before he decides he’s better off alone.”

Parker stared, at a loss for words. Would that really happen? He thought he’d made it clear that he just wanted to wait before acting on anything, but was Taylor that ready to move on?

“You don’t need to wait for him to be ready, Parker,” Kylie said, her voice gentler now. “He’s ready. Are you?”

“I...” he started, only to trail off. Was he? The prospect of being in a relationship with Taylor filled his chest with anticipation and excitement—and, when he took a moment to sort through the feelings, fear. What would happen if they got together, then things didn’t go well? “I don’t... I don’t know.”

“What are you unsure about?” Kylie asked. “He’s not going to say no to you, Parker.”

“I know that,” Parker replied, shaking his head. To put the feelings jumbling around in his chest into words was an impossible task. “I just... Me and Zach are nothing alike, you know? He was a fucking rock star. And I’m just... A regular guy. I write about music because I was never… never good enough to make it.”

Angie’s lips pursed in a sympathetic expression. Dean’s gaze lingered on the menu propped in front of him, but Kylie’s expression remained carefully neutral. Shame burned his face at the admission—it felt silly to have said it aloud—but maybe that was the crux of the issue, or as close to it as Parker could verbalize.

“He wasn’t a rock star when they got together,” Kylie finally said, her voice firm. “He was a college kid with the batshit belief that he was going to be a rock star someday. It ended up being true for him, sure; but it doesn’t change the fact that he was just a regular guy first, too. He had a wild dream he was willing to drop everything for. And Taylor wanted to go along for the ride, however it turned out. They didn’t know he would be a rock star then. He wasn’t for most of their relationship.”

“I fucking introduced them,” Parker interrupted, pain dripping from his voice. “How fucked up is that? I introduced them. I got them together. Then as soon as he’s gone, I try to swoop in and—and—”

He couldn’t even finish the thought. It felt so sleazy, so wrong, that all his other misgivings paled in comparison. Zach had been his friend, and now he was gone. Getting together with his husband was a betrayal to both of them, even knowing everything Taylor had told him now.

The others were silent for a beat—then Dean snorted, sending a painful shock of indignant anger through Parker’s chest. He glared over at Dean, who met him with a cold look.

“Seriously, dude? You’re only doing this because of some made-up version of Zach you have in your head,” Dean said, the irritation obvious in his voice. “I know you think they were great together and whatever, but they hadn’t been involved for months before Zach died. The real Zach would have been stoked Taylor was seeing someone, if he were alive right now, especially if it were you. You were his friend, both of their friends. He would have known you’d treat Taylor well, and now you have the chance, and you’re letting it blow up in your face? Get your shit together, man.”

It was as if he’d been struck by lightning. Parker wanted to be angry—wanted to spit back that Dean had no idea what he was talking about—that he was way overstepping their barely amicable relationship.

But maybe he was right. Dean and Zach had been close friends—closer than Zach and Parker, at least. And it was his friend who had been seeing Zach after Zach and Taylor split up. Dean didn’t even really have a personal stake in anything Taylor did now, so maybe his take was the most unbiased.

Maybe the image Parker had in his head was further from reality than he thought. Maybe Zach and Taylor hadn’t been as perfect for each other as they’d seemed from the outside. Maybe Taylor really wanted him, the same way he’d wanted Taylor all this time. Maybe if he didn’t act soon, he really would lose Taylor altogether—their friendship with it. If he was going to lose Taylor as a friend if he didn’t act on their feelings, wouldn’t it be better to just take the risk?

Wouldn’t it?

Angie hissed something under her breath at Dean that he didn’t quite catch. Dean muttered something back to her, then Angie turned to Parker.

“Sorry, Parker,” she said. “He shouldn’t have said it that way. But, well...”

“He’s right,” Kylie said bluntly. “It’s tough love, Parker. We’re doing this because we want you to get it together. We want to see Taylor happy. And you make him happy, at least for now, so...”

“I get it,” Parker interrupted, his voice coming out as a hoarse croak. “Really, guys, I... I get it. You’re right. I didn’t... I don’t think I really understood until now.”

“Told you,” Dean muttered. Angie reached over and smacked his bare arm hard, making him yowl and shrink away. “Dammit! That hurt.”

“Good,” Angie hissed again between her teeth, then looked at Parker again. “We just wanted to help, Parker. At least Kylie and I did. Taylor would never be this, uh... forward about his feelings, I think. So we had to do it for him.”

Parker nodded, watching the three of them. Dean had looked away, rubbing his arm with a scowl; but he didn’t look as angry as he had before his outburst. Kylie was staring at him silently, but a tiny smile ghosted at the corners of her deep red-stained lips. She recognized the change in Parker already, and whatever she had been hoping for from this conversation, it seemed like she had gotten it.

“You guys are good friends,” Parker blurted out, making Kylie grin and Angie laugh. “To Taylor, I mean. Really. I don’t think I have anyone who would have done this for me. I’m... I’m glad he has so many people around who love him. I know he and Zach weren’t together, but this has still been hard on him, so...”

“Trust us, we know,” Kylie sighed, before taking a sip of her drink.

“It’s definitely thrown a wrench in everything, that’s for sure,” Dean muttered, glaring at the ground sullenly.

“We all miss Zach,” Angie said softly. “I think we always will. And it’s complicated for Taylor. Don’t hold that against him.”

“I don’t. I wouldn’t,” Parker said quickly, shaking his head. “I miss Zach too. Even knowing all this now... Fuck, it almost feels like it would be simpler if he were still here, huh?”

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