Page 28 of Wish We Were There

Please just let me know you’re alive.

This time, when the read receipt appeared under the text, the little gray box popped up showing that Taylor was typing, which allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief.

Taylor

I’m fine. I don’t feel well so I’m skipping the appointment. I’ll go some other time.

The message’s tone was clipped, and Parker was sure Taylor wasn’t sick, but upset with him and didn’t want to see him—he felt nauseous with worry. If he had been better at hiding his feelings about Taylor, they wouldn’t be in this situation at all.

With a sigh, Parker turned and walked back to his car. What else could he do? He hesitated behind the wheel for a moment, wondering if he should go back over to the door and keep knocking, to make sure Taylor went to his appointment, or at the very least get the other man to acknowledge him so they could talk about things.

But the last thing he wanted was to come across as aggressive and pushy, no matter how frustrated it made him feel. So, with a resigned sigh, he turned the car on and drove back home.

For the next few days, it was radio silence. Parker tried to keep busy as much as he could—which wasn’t too difficult, with several interviews lined up for the week, plus his usual article for the site. Still, through everything, he kept thinking about Taylor and their last conversation. What had happened with him and Zach? And what did that mean about him and Taylor? He kept going back to the moment Taylor had kissed him, replaying the instant their lips pressed together over and over in his head. Every time, the thought made his face flush with warmth.

He wanted to talk about it. He wanted to know what Taylor had been thinking, what he had hoped would happen, what it meant for them going forward—but he couldn’t convince himself to try reaching out to Taylor first.

After three days, though, he couldn’t stand the unknown anymore and finally texted Taylor.

Parker

Hey, just want to make sure you’re still alright. Can we talk when you get the chance?

He didn’t expect a reply, but to his surprise, the read receipt appeared under the message almost immediately. The little typing icon appeared, then vanished—appeared, then vanished again. He watched it intently, wondering what Taylor was typing, wondering how much of it the other man would actually send.

Taylor

I’m ok. There’s nothing to talk about.

Parker stared at the text for a long while, frowning down at his phone. He couldn’t bring himself to be mad at Taylor, not really, but this sparked some frustration. Nothing to talk about? It felt like they had everything to talk about. He could understand Taylor withdrawing, but this?

Parker

I really want to talk about this. I want to see you. Please. Can we meet up sometime this week?

This time, while the message was read quickly, no reply came. He stared at his phone until the screen turned off automatically, then put it away with a frustrated groan.

Part of him wanted to go to Taylor’s house right then and pound on the door until the other man had to let him in. But how much good would that do? If Taylor didn’t want to talk to him, going to his house would only make things worse.

Taylor texted him while he was moping, so he didn’t see it right away.

Taylor

It’s fine. I’ll see you for the usual on Friday. Talk then if you want.

He couldn’t tell if the words made him relieved or more upset. Friday was still days away; he wasn’t sure if he could sit quietly with the same churning guilt and confusion and longing until then.

God, why had he ever introduced them? Why hadn’t he just told Taylor how he’d felt back then, before Zach had come and swept him off his feet? None of this would have ever happened if he could have been honest from the start. He regretted it often, but somehow it burned worse than ever now that he knew what Taylor’s mouth felt like pressed against his own.

But it was stupid to think about those kinds of what-ifs. He’d been a college kid with a crush, still insecure in his sexuality—a relationship with Taylor back then would have been nothing like a potential relationship with him now.

And they did have that potential now. Maybe. It would depend on how things went on Friday.

With a resigned sigh, he typed out a few different responses before finally just sending back:

Parker

Ok. See you then.

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