Page 48 of When I Had You

If we were alone . . . I run a hand over the back of my neck, then shift. “I have a penchant for sweet things but not candy.” I shoot her a wink.

I’m gifted with pinking cheeks and a breath that holds her chest captive a few seconds before being released. She clears her throat. “Well, um . . . maybe I should go meet your mom.” Fanning herself with the small bag, she looks down the street as if looking for an escape. I don’t blame her. This is a lot, and talking about my family isn’t something we’ve gotten around to yet.

It was all fun and games, light and surface.

We cross the street. With my eyes on my mom, I can tell by the just so slight raise of her eyebrows that she knows this is the woman I’ve been talking to on the phone. As if my face heating didn’t already give it away. I feel like a kid again. I always hated introducing girlfriends to my mom. Her opinion matters, and they don’t stand a chance if she doesn’t like them. Let’s see how this goes. “Hey, Mom, this is my friend Marina Westcott. Marina, this is Laura Warren.”

“Westcott?” Glancing from me to her, my mom asks, “As in Westcott Racing?”

Pinching her fingers together, Marina replies, “In name only. My brothers are the stars of that operation. It’s their baby.” They shake hands. “It’s very nice to meet you, Ms. Warren.”

“You can call me Laura.”

We start down the street together like we’re on a casual Sunday stroll, the two of them making small talk about me, the nice weather, and how cute Cullen is. “I don’t know much about Cash.” Looking at me, she asks, “Are you an only child, or do you have siblings?”

“One was enough,” I reply. “I’m sure.”

My mom bursts out in laughter. “He was a handful, but Cash was and still is a great son. He’s very considerate, and now we have Cullen.” She tickles his ribs, sending him into a fit of giggles again. I’m sure the sugar has nothing to do with it.

I swing him around and land him on his feet beside me. Taking his hand, we walk at his speed, which is almost painful since he’s so slow, but I’m not going to rush him the rest of the way back to his mother’s. I want to savor every second with him.

My mom looks back at me, grinning like she already knows the whole story about Marina and me. She probably does since we were plastered online. Though she always seemed to know everything when I was growing up without the help of the press.

My mom asks, “You’re an actress? Have you been in anything I’ve seen?”

Debating for all of two seconds whether I should save Marina from any embarrassment the question might have caused, I realize I don’t have to save her. She’s doing great on her own.

Marina says, “Maybe, but I’m newer to film. I moved from New York to LA, and before I could settle, I landed a few parts that kept me on location. I’ve been filming a two-movie deal in Vancouver for most of the past year.”

“That’s so exciting.” My mom looks back at me. “Isn’t that exciting, Cash? She’s a celebrity.”

As tempting as it is to roll my eyes, I can’t be mad that my mom sees me as her son and not the name brand I’ve become. “Super exciting.”

I receive a solid eye roll from Marina, which I can appreciate. Despite the good time I’m having, dread seeps in. While my mom and Marina keep chatting, I look down at Cullen. “How are you doing, buddy?”

“Great!”

He holds the stick in his hand, the candy demolished and long gone. Knowing we don’t have far to go, I stop and kneel in front of him. I like to be eye level when I can. I want that trust built, for him to know how much I love him, for him to see it in my eyes. “Hey, so . . .” I fucking hate saying goodbye to him.

“Hey so.” He grins at me.

I take the backpack from my mom and adjust it on his small shoulders, fussing with him, as she calls it. I can’t help it. I don’t get to do this stuff too often, so I find a way to be present in his life. “You’re going to be good for your mom?”

His mouth goes to the side as sadness creeps in, but he reluctantly nods.

I say, “I want to talk to you every day, okay, buddy? Every day.”

Cupping my face, he repeats, “Every day, Daddy.”

“I want you to watch my race.”

“Where are you racing?”

“I’ll be in the South of France, and then I’ll be back in ten days.” I bring him against me, burying him in my chest.

His arms come around me the best they can, and he holds me in them. “Miss you, Daddy.”

I kiss the top of his head and hold him tighter. “I’m going to miss you, too, buddy.” I hadn’t realized the scene I was making until I open my eyes to find my mom and Marina staring. If I were to ever scare off a woman, having a kid with another will usually do it.

---