Page 55 of When I Had You

“She’s a great mom and even better grandma. She’d do anything for him, which helps me out.”

There’s more to this man than I ever imagined. Relaxing my head back, I let the pillow fall to my side. “You’re very different here in New York versus how you were in Miami.”

“Should I be offended?”

“No.”

He scoots up on the other end of the couch. Taking my ankles one by one, he rests my feet on his leg. “What did you imagine before you came up here?”

I look around, though I’ve been picking up pieces of who he is through the decor since I got here. The furniture lends toward darker—black leather but encased in warm woods, metals but balanced with soft pillows and rugs. Even the white walls aren’t cold with muted art hanging on them. His home is warm and inviting. And like the size of his appetite, the Tribeca apartment boasts impressive water views with a sunset that I’d pay to see again.

“A revolving door at the entrance with women coming and going all hours of the day and night.” I wrap it in a joke, but I really did think he was more of a playboy. All signs—that jaw cut from the devil himself, the arrogant need for attention, and when those green eyes latch onto yours, you feel like the only woman in existence, to name a few—inferred the same.

With one arm resting across my ankles, he sure is cozy with me around. He chuckles. “I see you think highly of me.”

“Not as high as you think of yourself, but a solid to infinity.”

“And beyond.”

A smile spreads wildly across my face. I’m finding it so easy to feel happy around him in spite of our beginning. “Your words, not mine.”

I love the way he laughs—deep and hearty, genuine. The sound is comforting for some reason I don’t want to explore. It’s too soon to drag feelings into this new . . . friendship? Rubbing my leg, he asks, “How did the audition go?”

My parents ask me about my auditions. Poppy does if she knows about them. My brothers do when I talk to them, but Corbin hasn’t since I can remember, and I haven’t heard from Lauren at all today. But Cash did. That tells me everything I need to know to trust him with the things that are important to me. “I sang my heart out. The rest is up to fate.”

“You can’t give away your power like that. I’m sure you didn’t walk up and perform unprepared. It’s not luck that got you to that stage. It’s experience and your drive to be there.”

Spoken as a man who has fought for everything, including credit where it’s due. “You’re not wrong.” That elicits a chuckle out of him. “I practiced for a week.”

“Here’s what I’ve learned. If you get the part, you earned it. If you don’t, you try again another day. But we’re not lucking into anything, so own your hard work.”

His heartfelt words fill my chest as his hand warms my ankle. I’ll blame the beer, but I know it’s the company. He’s been rubbing me, every stroke awakening a different craving that has nothing to do with pizza or feeling sentimental pride about the work I’ve put in to chasing my dreams.

Cash said he wanted to kiss me earlier and chose the word annihilation specifically. A shiver runs through me like a live wire. It’s been so long since I’ve been touched, been charmed, been anything that made me feel special. Staring at him, his rugged good looks, the rough of his hands scratching gently across my skin, I see him in a new light that has nothing to do with friendship.

He’s so much of everything I want and feel so strongly about—kindness, chivalry, masculine, brute in the sexiest of ways, a great listener, sweet talker, even the arguing is above par. I don’t need anyone to bow to me or tell me yes all the time. I want someone I can trust. I want him because this attraction is taxing my abilities to think responsibly. Slipping my legs under me, I slide closer to him, needing to be near him and to touch him. I want him to touch me.

His hand slides around my waist as if we do this every day. I love how big it is, covering the acreage of my back. I love the connection as if he couldn’t not touch me in such an intimate way. So much innocence is built in, but always with an edge of possession that if I were his, it might be forever. My insides twist in anticipation of that annihilating kiss, the longing overwhelming as I stare into the intensity of his green eyes.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“We can go slow.”

I smile. “I’m not a virgin.”

“Then we can go fast.”

The soft lines of his arrogant grin have me realizing I don’t have to be so serious. I can be me with him, which means goofy or sexy or however I’m feeling at that moment.

When I move to climb onto him, he takes me by the hips and seats me on his lap. My breath jags when I straddle him, and I confess, “I shouldn’t be here, but I don’t think I can stay away from you.”

“Don’t let other people get in your head. You’re right where you belong, Marina.” Tilting his head, he leverages me and pulls up so we’re just a breath apart. “Do what you want. Do what feels good, what feels right. If that’s me, all you have to do is kiss me.”

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I whisper, “I call you every night because you’ve become a highlight of my day as well. You’re the escape I can’t wait to talk to each night.”

“I don’t have to be an escape tonight. I’m real and right here, babe.”

I slide my fingers through the hair at the back of his head, lean my head against his forehead, and then close my eyes. He slides his nose against mine, a nudge following. My body is already seeking the pleasure I know he’ll give me, but my mind won’t stop overthinking. “I’m nervous. It’s been a long—”

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