Page 35 of When I Had You

“Yep. What flavor?”

He giggles, filling the holes the time apart has left inside my heart. “Bubblegum.”

“It’s good, right?” I walk to the back of the room, leaning my head against the wall with the phone cradled in my hand. It’s not that I need a five-year-old’s approval, but I want to keep the connection with him, hoping he understands why I leave so often during the season. “How’d I race today?”

“You had a race?”

Forget the media mess this morning, the questions asked about Marina and me, despite the excitement in my son’s voice, I’m gutted by those four words alone. She’s broken our agreement before, but hearing that my kid didn’t even know I was racing . . . I should expect this from her, but that doesn’t ease the blow that he didn’t know. “Yeah.” I struggle to sound positive, but I do it for him. “Came in sixth.”

“You got points.”

“I did. Hey, so have your stuff ready tomorrow when I pick you up. I’ll be there at two o’clock, okay?”

“Okay.”

Normally, I’d touch base with Terpidy, but I’m too angry to stay calm, and anything above a whisper pisses her off, so I let it lie for now. “I love you, Cully.”

“Love you, Daddy.”

I hang up and stay in the peace of the room for a moment longer. “I did it.” I fucking did it, putting points on the board for my team. After the disappointment I could see in their eyes, if I’m being generous, I hope this can redeem me in light of the situation with their sister.

Marina has been on my mind too much—the softness of her skin, the curve of her hips, the pink of her lips that I couldn’t resist. Fuck, I can’t do this.

Off-limits.

I’ve been warned . . .

Since I’m still in my racing suit, I push off the wall and start stripping it off, anxious to get out of here. But if I’m going to face cameras on the way out, I need to take a shower.

* * *

“You did it.” I recognize the voice as two hands clap down on my shoulders. I had gotten so close to escaping the track without another lecture.

“I made a deal.” I laugh as Noah comes to walk beside me as I exit the paddock.

“You kept it. It’s unheard of,” he says, looking up at the sky behind his sunglasses, “to do this well as a new team.”

We keep walking, but I sense there’s more he’s not saying. I stop and cross my arms over my chest. “What is it?”

He stops, shifting a bit. “You did great with the post-race press, but we need to steer clear of any questions regarding my sister. If they ask you about last night or her, tell them it’s not something you’re commenting on. It’s better to leave it vague than to give them something to feed off.”

We look around, noticing eyes that wouldn’t typically be on us as other teams tilt their ears to eavesdrop. P1 racing has the biggest bunch of gossips. Always has.

Walking again, Noah keeps his eyes ahead. “We talked with Marina earlier. She regrets dragging you into her predicament.”

“She doesn’t need to regret anything.”

“My sister has . . .” I glance at him, wondering if he’s going to throw her under the bus. Other than my mom, there’s no one in my family I choose to speak to anymore. I’ve had photos from my childhood sold to high bidders, stories that I thought were once great memories tainted as I read about them in the press.

I feel like the Westcotts are genuine in protecting their own, but there’s money on the line, so you never know. Money changes everyone, everybody I’ve known.

The harsh lines of his expression stagger into sympathy when he looks back at me. “She had expectations placed on her that I never had to deal with growing up. She’s in the spotlight now, but she always was at parties and school. It’s not of my family’s doing. The world took notice of Marina Westcott early on.” He pauses again as if searching for the right words. “She can hold her own, but she shouldn’t have to all the time.”

I appreciate hearing the respect he has for her. I know they’re close, but I like that they’re friends. “Can I be honest with you?” he asks.

“I hope you’re always honest with me, Noah.”

He nods. “I worry about her. She’s pulled away the last few months, which is unlike her. Did she talk to you about anything that might be going on?”

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