Page 26 of When I Had You

I run my fingers through my hair, debating if I should go through with this. My dick has already made its decision, but that’s how I got off track last time.

A woman.

My kid.

My career going up in flames.

I don’t think I’m the guy who will break her heart. She needs to have something on the line for that to happen. When it comes to me, she’s safe in that area. “Hey, Marina, I think—”

The door slides open, and words cease to exist when she leans against the inside frame wearing one of the undershirts I left in the bathroom. “Hope it’s okay I borrow this?”

“Yeah.” I gulp like a teen whose fantasy came to life. “Sure.”

Her hair is looser, and her curls have softened over the hours, as if she’s run her fingers through the strands like I did. Her legs are tan and somehow look even more shapely coming out from under my white tee than the beaded blue dress she was wearing. It’s her face that’s utterly captivating, though. Washed free from makeup, she’s prettier than when made up. An ache in my chest reminds me to breathe, so I suck air into my lungs, unable to take my eyes off her.

She smiles, and I know my world will never be the same. “I think you’re right.”

“About?” I ask, lost to whatever we’re talking about.

“It’s late.” Ah. “We’re not thinking clearly.” Walking toward the bed, she stops on one side while I remain standing at the foot like an idiot. “Do you still want me to stay?”

“I do,” I reply without hesitation.

Her smile is softer as if the night’s gotten a hold of it, her lids heavier as she climbs into bed. She slips under the covers and lies back to watch me. I start on my shirt and unbutton it. The air around us has shifted, the energy winding down instead of running off adrenaline. “I’ll leave before you wake up,” she whispers, “I promise.”

The intimacy is thick, making me shift in the newness of it. I don’t spend time with women like this anymore if I ever did. We’re not caught in foreplay or the aftermath of having sex. I don’t know what this is, but I’m not opposed to experiencing it with her. “You don’t have to rush out of here.”

Her smile returns, making me not give one fuck of a care what tomorrow brings. Tonight, I want this with her. I want to hold her, to kiss her, to listen to her fall asleep in my arms.

With only my boxer briefs on, I climb into bed and slide next to her. She caresses my cheek, staring into my eyes. “The bad boy of racing isn’t so bad when you get to know him.”

“I’ve worked hard for that reputation. Don’t ruin it for me.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” I catch a genuine grin shaping her expression just before she rolls onto her other side, facing away from me. I lay my head on the pillow and wrap my arm over her, pulling her frame against me as she molds her body to mine.

I kiss her shoulder because I want to, but I shouldn’t because I know the truth.

I’m already in too deep.

I’m so screwed.

* * *

I bolt upright to the sound of banging on the door. My eyes burn from the daylight flooding through the doorway from the wall of glass in the living room.

The blinds are open.

Fuck.

Memories of Marina pushing the button come back, but there were other bigger distractions for me to remember some minor details, like closing them again.

Marina.

I reach out but find nothing except twisted sheets beside me. “Marina?” I get up as the banging continues and make my way toward the door. “Marina?”

There’s no sign of her in the bedroom.

Maybe that’s her.

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